THURSDAY #1490

FIRST THE NEWS....

I read somewhere today that once gay's are allowed to marry, then what would stop a man from having three wives.....or marry his horse....or the 10 year old down the street.
Let me be clear....WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK IF A MAN HAS MORE THAN ONE WIFE IF ALL ADULTS AGREE?!?!
The other arguments are just silly, since two people have to be of age to sign a legal contract, which marriage is.
Also, I read that the utterly dramatic shift in public opinion can be laid squarely at the feet of more gays coming out of the closet. When you like someone and discover he or she is a queer, then you are much more likely to be sympathetic to their cause.

Politicians having their picture taken in a tank is always a very bad idea...

 There are people in England rioting in celebration of her death...

The submit button is inactive here, but I'm sure you can find it if you look...

This is what happens when you reward bad behavior like we have been doing for decades...

This is me when my wife spends 25 minutes on one aisle in Walgreens...

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!

I've always wondered if I could perform a sex act with a crew of technicians standing around the bed...

The average American would fail this test miserably. I am an average American...

Is it just me or does he look like Morgan Freeman...

According to the live webcam it's a beautiful day outside.


Ever wonder how they make bottles like this...

Well, they blow the molten glass into a form...

These lamps were made by my buddy. He uses all sorts of things..coffee pots, thermos, fire extinguisher....

I put the pro in procrastination.

And in a place that huge, this was said to be the very first gay marriage...

What's more awkward, answering Dora, or just sitting there while she stares at you?

The biggest difference between men and women comes to mind when the word "facial" is used.

Do you know who Yvonne Brill is?
I didn't either, and it embarrasses me.
She was a pioneering rocket scientist who developed propulsion systems. Many times she would be the only woman in the room. You might want to look her up if you have daughters.

If we don't learn from History Channel, we are doomed to repeat History Channel.

A headline you don't see every day...

I thought about this a long, long time...

What is happening to a veterans at the VA is a national disgrace...

The internet has ruined me...

This is pretty cool. I was amazed that averaged out faces all look pretty much alike.
Guy took thousands of photos of girls from a country and averaged them. Then he got images from another country and did the same, etc, etc. Here are his results...

After further thought, here's my take. The motherfucker didn't actually photograph random women on the street. He probably used images of models or from ads, etc.
What say you?

Helmets with bees....that is all...

When you are old you get to fuck with waitresses and they think it's cute. Like, if I want eggs, I always say, "I wish to devour the unborn."

I wake up everyday planning to be productive, then a voice in my head says, "Haha, good one!" And we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
ABOUT NAPPING:
My very astute advisor told me today about First Sleep and Second Sleep. In times long past, people often slept twice during the darkness. It was even mentioned in ancient writings. It is perfectly natural, but the invention of modern lighting fuck it up for us. We stay up later, thus no time for the break between first and second sleeps.
I am of the opinion that my naps are a holdover from my ancient relatives.

Clever, clever man....

No, they are not trying to set a world record. This is just the way it's done in China...

Do you ever just want to grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, "No one gives a fuck!"
But, you don't, do you?
But when you are old, you don't either. Because you don't have the right to speak for everyone. You can, however, lean in and whisper, "I don't give a fuck!"
It's very liberating and should be something to look forward to when you age.

One of my very own...

"You can't be a pimp and a prostitute too," they say.
Fuck those people. You got it, sell it, and don't split shit!


???????

I hate it when I'm with my wife when she runs into a dear old friend she hasn't seen in years, and while they pirouette like ballerinas on speed, they make noises that only dolphins could understand.


It has been proven that old people with pets fare better...

One of the oldest "funny" images on the internet...

I was in a pretty deep discussion about us humans being nothing very special in the universe and the guy asked, "But what is life?"
I said, "Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
I explained that we are but pieces of stuff that does what stuff does and if you rearrange it, it stops doing it.

I don't really know the difference between yoga pants and leggings, but quite frankly, I don't care.

I read this in a spy novel, and I tried it and it works.
If you think someone is staring at you, yawn. If they yawn, they were staring.
I would assume, not yawning tells you nothing, since yawns can be stymied. 

Do you know what this is?

When you want to fill a bucket, you hang it from that so you don't have to hold it the whole time.

Dancing with no pants is kind of cool....still.

Well, that's embarrassing...and on camera, no less...

...at least he didn't shoot himself in the foot.

This is why auto racing is considered a team sport...

My wife came home from a long day at work and asked me if I had been on the internet all day. I told her I only went on the internet once.
Wives are so easy.

And I think he just interrupted some fucking.