FOLIO OLIO: WEDNESDAY #1537

If you look Schadenfreude up in the dictionary...

These were each carved out of a single block of wood...

I heard a general in a movie say, "Nobody can dispute the rightness of what we are doing."
That's kind of scary if you think about the ramifications, because the general on the other side is telling his men the exact same thing.
Sounds kind of like religion, don't it.

Wouldn't you love to know how many people's last words were, "Let me show you a faster way to do that."

I think this would be a wonderful gag...using regular weeds, of course...

How to remove an apple from a shoe...

Guy that I hadn't seen in a while came into the bar and I said, "Damn, man, you've really put on some weight."
He said, "I'm overweight because it's a side effect of my asthma meds."
I asked, "What the hell are you taking for your asthma? cheeseburgers?"

Most mad scientists are actually just bad engineers.

Shit you don't see every day...

How well-trained would that horse have to be?

I just thought I was good at this game...

If you have never played this game, then you have no way of knowing what an extraordinary feat that is.

By the way, had she pulled the trigger once more, she would have blown her own punk-ass brains out...

Before allowing someone like that to shoot a gun like that, have her hold it unloaded, then grab it and try to take it away. Keep doing it until she knows how hard her grip has to be.

One of my very own...

Ex-fucking-actly!

This week somebody was Folio Olio’s quarter of a million^th visitor.

Students invent shoe that generates electricity with each step...

And there is not trade-off in walking effort.

This guy's work is, at this moment, being peer reviewed. We can only hope...

My wife on her period is always ovary acting.

They have tornados in MAINE!

I actually thought that a very interesting map.

Well, of course it did.

Ran across this cartoonist...he's very good...

Sometimes I feel like giving up, then I remember I have a lot of motherfuckers to prove wrong.

This says much about modern society...

After a while, we all forget our own strength.

If you listened to your mom, your dad, your teachers, your priest or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit and you ended up with a boring miserable life, then you deserve it.

He hangs his glasses from his nipple ring...

Who in their right mind could have predicted that this man had a nipple ring?

Science isn't about memorizing facts or understanding.

Science is about smoking weed and looking at the stars.

"Show us your tattoo, grandpa."

Dear recent graduates,
Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life.

If your mom really loved you, she wouldn't have needed a lactation consultant.

That is from a series of photos the photographer took of things with a fly on them.
But on a side note, have you ever decided - on you own - without asking permission - to pull out one of those nipple hairs from a girlfriend or wife? You haven't? Well, go right ahead and do it, cause they will thank you. I promise.

Slow but effective...

...and think about it...it fertilizes as it goes.

Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city.

My man....

I try to live by those words on many fronts.

1K words....

I can hear it now....
"Hey, for two hundred dollars you ride that elephant while a topless beautiful woman walks along side. What say you?" said the photographer.
"I don't have two hundred, but can I do it for $125...cash?" said the elephant guy.

Everybody believes they are strange and unusual.

Hopper drawing...

One can only assume it's prep-work for his painting.

One thing I have in my favor: when I plead insanity there won't be much of an argument.

We need a word for doing the same dumbass thing over and over....something like "redumbant" or "Congrass".

I think some people are born gay.

Some achieve gayness.

And some have gayness thrust upon them.

Yeah, guys, you can deny it all you want...

Got young children or plan to have young children? Print out a label like this, tape it to a can of air freshener, then when there's any talk of monsters under the bed or elsewhere, just spray the area with this "repellant". It will work every time.