FOLIO OLIO: THURSDAY #1550

Why the fuck didn't you get outraged 12 years ago when the Patriot Act (interesting terminology) started all this shit to begin with?
Anyway, I just watched at great movie on Netflix. "End Of Watch". Check it out.

I saw a study that said, "One out of every ten people are gay." I've had sex with ten people. That's really weirds me out, because that means at least one of those dudes was probably gay.

I read a wonderful little book about the value of fear. It talked a lot about the gut feelings we get and deduced that they are caused by the huge amounts of information the brain receives and simply doesn't have the wherewithal to process. The gut feeling is a warning when your brain detects something that it knows is wrong, but hasn't bothered to "put in words".

My wife tried to cook dinner last night. She burned it so black that it tried to steal my bike. She blamed the spatula.

"Off putting": a phrase that isn't used often enough.

I heard an elderly Southern woman comment on someone smelling bad with: "He could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon."

?????

Since menopause, my wife has been so cold that when she spreads her legs the furnace kicks on.

Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

Heard that 65M US kids have hearing loss. The culprit: constant loud music.

(I got that using screen saver just to fuck with you)

Check this out...

One of my very own...

Target is the Walmart for people who think they're too good for Walmart.

The suburbs. What can I say?

This is my wife when I loaded two plates, two glasses, two forks and two knives into the dishwasher without fucking it up...

Lance Armstrong would have been a great name for a medieval jouster.

In some areas the revenue from tourists is paying to protect the animals. I think it's a good thing...

We've all been with girls who had such an unusual vaginal smell that we've spent the whole time we were going down on them wondering what they've had up there and are we going to die.

The housing mess in one simple caption...

Thank goodness I've been turned on by foreign films, captions and all, otherwise it would be a dry well.

Advice to young men:
Tell every girlfriend that you have never came from a blowjob. They all try to be the first to make you and they all feel like they accomplished something when you do.

DOUBLE the battery life of your iPhone by putting the fucking thing down from time to time.

I have a number of these sitting on a table just inside my office door. When I come in, if they are disturbed I know someone has been in there...

I had a lot more but I placed them (folded, of course) on the sidewalk just to see the people's faces when they opened them.

This man wants to come home...

I want him to come home also.

I wonder how many of you would still be pro-death penalty if you had to watch...

In the South, "Fuck that shit" is a totally acceptable way of saying no.

You don't have to waste your time on this, but I thought it kind of cool...

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and shitheads.

If each vampire ate only one meal a day, a meal who would then turn into a vampire, it would take about one month for the entire human race to become vampires.