TUESDAY #1543

My wife is far, far from a stupid woman...but she is Southern through and through. Without getting into all the details, she was just on a national TV show and shown while she was shopping. At one point she held up an item and said, "Hey, sweetie, where are these at?"
She was mortified when it aired.

This woman actually scares me...

Here's the unforgiveable grafitti by that Chinese kid...

 It basically says "Kilroy was here".
His parents called a news conference to "apologize to the world" (their words) with "We have raised our son without the proper morals."
With that said, the ancient Egyptian workers left their own grafitti in some parts of the tombs. I found that interesting.

This is the kid that won the spelling bee....

That's one unemotional some bitch.

"Two sorts of people to avoid - serial killers and women who spell "thanks" with an x.

Ever wonder why birds don't fall out of trees when they sleep?

 As their legs relax and bend, the tendons running behind the "knee" automatically tighten the grip.

I went to graduate school with a guy who painted canvases to look like wallpaper, but each one had the shape of an object as if it had been mounted on the wall and kept it from fading...

(this is not one of those paintings)

Drilling a few holes in the bottom of the plastic kitchen garbage can will make removing the garbage bag easier.

An old, probably shopped, but still funny pic...

The white gloves is an interesting touch...

Fuck you, Canada. We've decided to stay in America and take the northern route across....

You, sir, need to start thinking outside your butt.

(Do you really think it’s a good idea to take military advice from the French?)

I may get some of the details wrong in this story, but it’s mostly true. The British in India during WWII were scared to death of a Japanese overland invasion, so when they heard reports of an entire remote village of several hundred people turning up dead, they feared nefarious motives…a Jap patrol or something. By the time they got to the village the scavengers had done what scavengers do and the bodies required autopsies to ascertain cause of death. All of the people died of blunt force trauma to the top of the head, but with further examination it was discovered that many of the victims had broken collar bones and shoulders.

I'll give you a minute to think about what they deduced. 

In the animal world, that's called meat tenderizing.

It ought to be illegal to Cosplay outside your body type.

 He's now in deep shit with the powers that be.

I would say it's a society with a lot of delusional people.

I’m waiting for an amusement park with rides requiring people to be ‘At Least This Short’.

1953 VW Beetle formed into a sphere.

How did they get the glass to bend?

"My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white man who looked nothing like me. I get it now.....Oh, wait, that's not my waiter."

Clone them? Sure, why not.

Does anybody use this feature in comments?

Or does it just appear in mine?

I'm trying to get an over/under date when food like this will come under the sin tax umbrella...

That first "hamburger" was sent to me by my nephew...he actually ate it.

The British deduced that the village people in India had been killed by a freak hailstorm with projectiles measuring three to four inches.

I will never tire of tree houses......never.....

Reuse is also a big plus.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts.
Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

You think this is stuffed?

A great ad line for an anti-anxiety pill would be "So powerful you could stay home while the housekeeper is there."

Hitler once gave a man a medal because he found his joke funny.

When you hear someone say, "I'm a virgin by choice", it's usually not their choice.

Most people seem to forget that her murder took place rather early in the film.

Just something else to worry about...jumping fucking robots!!!

Shit we Americans should all be thankful for...

That bridge that is made of living plants...

As I understand it, the skill is handed down from grandfather to grandson.

Human ingenuity....go figure...

This is part of a spam comment to Folio Olio....

Buy branded (brand name?) ballroom shoes from reputed online ballroom shoes store

Reputed?
And if you think about me in ballroom shoes it ought to make you smile.

“Cliché: truth drained of truth.”

Haven't seen this guy in a while. I rather enjoy him...

In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.  - French proverb

One of my very own...

Watching TV shows doesn’t create psycho killers.

Canceling TV shows creates psycho killers.

The worst example of "One job....one fucking job" I've ever seen...

But exactly what is the question?

And I bet when this sentence was constructed it was the very first time it had been constructed.....ever...

“It really isn’t a good summer weekend unless you do something that has to be explained.”

Let's talk conformity, shall we...

Why do people voluntarily attempt shit like this on camera?

SPEAKING OF STUPID SHIT...
If you have a few minutes to contemplate your soul...watch this...truly, watch this...
>>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
My nephew found that some of his comments on the Southern Baptist site were not getting posted because of a word he used. After researching, he found this list of words (letter combinations) that, even if inside a word, would automatically get you banned.
("As in"'s are his)

     arse             as in Arsenal

     bastard

     bitch

     clit

     cock           as in cockatiel

     coon           as in cocoon

     cracker

     cum             as in circumstance

     cunt

     douche

     effing

     fag

     ftw

     fuck

     goddamn

     gloryhole

     homo         as in homosexual

     hooters

     horny

     hump

     jackass

     jap

     jism

     kinky

     kooch

     necrophilia

     nipple

     nigger

     orgy

     pis       as in pistol

     poon    as in harpoon

     porn

     prick

     queer

     rape         as in grape

     sex           as in homosexual

     shit

     slut

     smut

     snatch

     spic         as in despicable

     tit               as in constitution or title

     twat

     vag           as in vague

     whore

     wonderful us (????????????)

     wop

     wtf

     xxx
(couldn't help but notice that "motherfucker" is conspicuously absent)