TUESDAY'S TRACHLE #1548

When you fuck up as a member of yakuza (Japanese mafia) they lop off your pinkie finger.
Now a prosthetic maker is custom designing pinkies using 3D printers.

But that's just the beginning. Now, just by scanning the affected area, you can custom make any prosthetic object...

A company thought it would be a good idea to print T-shirts with the infamous Prism logo was short lived. An anonomous "owner" of the copyright sued them.

Tonight my wife and I walked down the street from our house to see this...

 (This is an image sent by a friend)

So, let's see some rather clever takes on our death of privacy...

And one more concerning my fascination with rioting...

Chickens do not have penises, ducks do have penises and scientists don't know why....and that's true.

Sleeping in (on?) the ISS...

One does not simpwee talk to his pets in a reguluh gwown man voice, does he? Noooo. He doesn't!

Notice the guy in the tank slowly lower himself...

I was once accused in a comment of making fun of Russians. 
First, I make fun of everybody. 
Second, with clips like that how could I resist?

Am I the only one around here who doesn't have a rubber horse head?

I once pulled an Ashley Judd cutout out of the dumpster behind the theater, but it fell apart in the shower.

Does every sci-fi movie planning meeting begin with, "We are going to need a scientist, and engineer, and of course, a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong."

All my life I've been told not to sit too close to the TV because it will ruin my eyes. Now we have a screen damn near touching you eye.

I already want to take a nap tomorrow and it's still today.

Never buy a coffee table that you can't put your feet on.


"I am smiling."

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
They should throw parties with strippers.

This is the last thing I want to think about when I'm trying to relax in a pool...

"At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?"
By the way, I stole that joke. I steal a lot of jokes. I was amused that it has been reported that a guy with a joke oriented Tweet account has been criticized for stealing jokes. Who makes up rules like that?! Imagine how dull the world would be if only the first person who told a joke was allowed to repeat it! Think about that!

At first I thought he was faking it just to fuck with the other shoppers...

 ...then I noticed his shadow on the wall.

I find it interesting that most people have a list of colors to be used on certain things. I even find myself staring at cars that are painted a "wrong" color. Same goes for houses. I mean, a car CAN be black, but a house CAN'T...

If I had young kids today, I would tell them that Hunger Games was real and every time they misbehave their name goes into the reaping and their chances of getting sent into the arena is higher.
(kind of sounds like Sunday School, don't it?)

My wife used to like playing Burger King and McDonald. "I'll have it my way and you'll be loving it."

One of my very own...

Okay, upon further evaluation, I deem that last OOMVO too lame to stand alone, so I offer this...

In America the internet browses you.

Old age is the time in life when people regret all the sins they left uncommitted.

From the Ghost Fleet of Suisun Bay where noble warships go to die...

I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would learn to manage their stupidity.

A gyroscopically stable beer holder...

Take my money.....please.

If there was an award for Most Pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.

 My daughter used to do that, only she would just grab the top railing and start bouncing until she bounced over, crashing to the floor. First time I saw it, I, fearing she was going to break her neck, got her a real bed.

Stars in the first movie he writes and directs...

 ...he plays a sex addict and his girlfriend is Scarlett Johansson.
Well played, sir, well played.

There is no number for what I just did in my bathroom.

This guy in Germany seems to have missed the whole fucking dike concept...

People's standards are inversely proportional to the time elapsed since their last sexual encounter.

1K words....

A young man once asked me how he can ever know if his girlfriend is faking it or not. I told him that she was not faking it if she walks like there's a horse missing.

No girl has ever unzipped a fanny pack to give a guy a blowjob.

I read somewhere that they sell over 10K iPhones AN HOUR.

The best written TV shows of all time...

...according to someone who said they know.

A guy I've known for years called me Ronald twice the other day. The 420 lifestyle does not age well.

 What about lights and turn signals?

Someone should tell scientists that they don't need to keep finding reasons for us to drink a glass of wine at night.

The person who invented internet comments was the most optimistic idiot that ever lived.

I have a full plan for a zombie apocalypse, but I have no idea what I'm having for lunch.

Remember, when we first began our climb to greatness, we did the same thing present day developing nations are doing...

On the bright side, tanning beds are slowly killing all the people who deserve it most.

Rather subtle this....

We all remember our first sex scar, don't we?

Stair porn...

You know you're getting old when you walk past a couple of priests and they don't even look at you.

Embarrassing juxtapostion...

People say that if America doesn't get its act together, in 50 years we'll all be speaking Chinese. Yeah, like we're smart enough to learn Chinese.

Today I spent 20 minutes trying to lift my TV remote with my mind.

If you don't think about public art, you are on the wrong blog...

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

TRUE:  Concerning my planned road trip and cigarette prices, I once wrote "Fuck Canada, I’m staying in America." Well, my hits from Canada to this blog is falling off the chart. From 2^nd to 6^th behind NIGERIA!!!

I love Nigeria. They are such an attractive people and their prices on everything are so reasonable. I want to visit there soon. So, all you Nigerians out there, tell your friends how Nigerian-friendly I am.

Seriously....Canada...get the stick out of your ass...it was a gag.