FRIDAY #1738

My Cocks won handily...thank you very much. There was lightning, which caused the game to be suspended longer than Johnny Manziel.

Then there was this cheap nonsense...

Man reaches 70mph on what's called a Shopping Trolley...

I don't know why.

The real reason for that evolutionary leap...

Words added to Oxford Dictionary: apolsA/WbabymoonbalayagebitcoinblondiebuzzworthyBYODcake.

(this was the way it was presented to me...kind of fun separating them)

Sadly not photoshopped...

I can count how many times I used condoms on one hand.
The answer is zero.
You put them on your dick, not hour hand.
- Ron Jeremy
(well, not with that attitude you don't)

Art installation...

Back in my day it was called dry humping.

If Beauty and the Beast teaches us anything, it's that looks don't matter as long as you keep her locked up long enough.

Lot of talk about how humans will have sex in weightlessness. They could take some hints from nature...

I knew a man whose mother had Alzheimer's. After the woman's husband left, she asked "Who is that strange man who keeps trying to get in bed with me?"

I found that very sad.

Note reaction of other judgmental pricks...

 Speaking of...

It's sad how food nowadays needs "made with actual ingredient" as a selling point.



Just wondering...

I once saw a display of sand dollars on sale for $2.
I found that funny.

If you plug your headphones into a carrot, you won't hear music, but at least you are doing something.

Another way to piss off a snooty waiter....Let's say you're in a French restaurant, ask, "Do you have any American French food here?"

Hey, man, just following orders...

(holy men rubbing oil on me?...seriously?)

A museum in Japan full of rocks with faces...

If you ever feel dumb, just remember that sloths sometimes grab their own arms thinking they're tree branches.

Reality scares me...also the inevitable robot uprising.

Just once I would like to hear a vegetarian say, "Because I really hate plants."

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

I once poured Capri Sun into a glass.


What happens when they stop payment on your reality check...

Bitch or not, 99 problems is still a shitload of problems.

CAUGHT IN THE WAVE: Spectators fled Thursday as waves created by a tidal bore crashed over a barrier on the Qiantang river at Haining, Zhejiang province, China. About 30 people were injured while viewing the annual tidal bore, which occurs when seawater from an unusually high tide funnels into the river, creating high waves.

After my doctor had prescribed me some medicine for pain relief I returned for a follow-up and asked him what the street name was for it.

Even the devil weeps when he remembers he once had wings.

Human footprints found along side those of dinosaurs thought to be faked...

Juxtaposition...

Prescription drugs. This overuse is surely going to come back to bite us in the ass...

The moment you find out your new wife deepthroats until after the wedding...

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether apes will one day be our masters.

If there is a parallel universe where everything is opposite, does that mean they know we exist?

The three branches of government are: military, corporate and Hollywood.

Am I the only one to smile when a kid gets hurt doing the very thing their parents told them not to do?

Sex can make your day. Anal sex can make your hole weak.

Magnificent....

Had several pictures of this...apparently it was built that big...

If my doctor ever told me I had a tumor in my head, I would say, "At least it not another disco song," and we would laugh and laugh.

THERE WILL BE A SATURDAY POST TOMORROW.