WEDNESDAY #2068

NEWSY BITS FIRST

I actually heard this said on cable news today:

WILL AIR TRAVEL MAKE IT HARDER TO CONTAIN EBOLA?

A Japanese denim brand had the bright idea, at least for raising its profile, of sewing indigo-dyed cotton fabric around rimless tires, sausage-shaped bolsters, and fat rubber balls, and throwing the objects to the inmates of the Kamine Zoo... When the fabric has been properly “distressed”—i.e., mauled—it is retrieved from the enclosures and made into trousers that are sold under the label Zoo Jeans...

************ 

A briefcase with a hidden gun belonging to security personnel is seen during India Prime Minister Narendra Modi's meeting with Nepali Prime Minister Sushil Koirala in Kathmandu…

************ 

Free Range parenting...

The Port St. Lucie, Florida, mom was arrested on Saturday for letting her 7-year-old son, Dominic, walk alone — in the daytime, with a cellphone — a half-mile to a local park. “I honestly didn’t think I was doing anything wrong,” she says. “I was letting him go play.”During his approximately 10-minute walk, the boy passed by a public pool, where a patron asked him where his mother was and other questions. As he told a local news station, “I got scared and ran off to the park, and that’s when they called the cops.” Police picked up the boy at the park, brought him home and arrested his mother for felony child neglect. In their report, police noted that “numerous sex offenders reside in the vicinity.” Gainey says the cops “just kept going over that, you know, there’s pedophiles,” which sounds to me like the kind of problem that perhaps there’s a better approach to than whisking kids off playgrounds and arresting mothers...

I am certain that a map showing the range a my father had wandered freely as a child compared to the range I wandered as a child compared to the range my child was allowed to wander, the circles would get smaller and smaller...which is a real shame.

************ 

************

There is hope. Remember when the IRA and the British stopped killing one another...

*************

*************

The owner of a diner in North Carolina said she and her servers will often give customers a 15 percent discount for publicly praying before eating their meal.

(I wonder what they will do if I pay to the sun god, Ra by sacrificing a goat?)

************

Beginning with the NFL's regular season, players will be equipped with tracking technology in their shoulder pads measuring how fast, far and what routes they run -- in real time. 

Canada....go figure...

Toddlers and Tiaras is both the prequel and sequel to 16 And Pregnant.

I've got a good idea for a piece of art, but I'm having real problems with motivation...

Today's interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". But I killed it all by myself and only screamed a little bit. I think I've found my true calling.

Look at the mood of the child in blue...

Gold diggers are just prostitutes with longer contracts.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

 When on a waiting list at a restaurant, I ALWAYS give a weird name. I mean...why not?

 Remember that old theory about technology doubling every 18 months are something like that? Well....what the fuck happened?

The cop at your front door is never a stripper when you want him to be.

Do they really think we are this stupid? 

 Yes. Yes, they do.

How To Fly: Throw yourself at the ground and miss.

How much charm is too much charm?

Fun Fact: Candle flames smell like burnt nose hair.

Oh, my...

A lot of the wrong people have confidence.

And...

Instead of telling me that he divorced his wife because she cheated on him, he said, "She played one too many away games."

If you asked various people in your life, “Am I a good person”, how many of them would lie to you?

We aren't using this technology near enough...

This seems to solve a problem that I have been carping about for decades. We now build a house, then place the solar panels to the roof. If a leak occurs, the panels must come off for repairs. Someone needs to come up with a combination solar panel/roof. It can't be that hard.
Remember a while back when I showed you the road panels that were solar panels? Now that is a good idea.

Seeing one of these in person is on my bucket list...

In my doctor's waiting room, I explained to a WWII veteran how proud I was for the ever growing number of my blog views. I think he regrets winning the war now.

In some school districts in my home state of South Carolina, only 1/3 of students read at grade level. Think about that a minute. Let that sink in. In arguably the most advanced nation on earth, we do not know how to educate our own children. 

Shit you don't see everyday...two identical ships, one canal...

I live in the South. In the South we know what a tomato is suppose to be. We can sit down with a whole, sliced tomato, salt, pepper and a fork and make a meal. We make sandwiches out of two pieces of bread, some mayo and sliced tomatoes. What you people in other places get are not tomatoes. They are some red, hybrid, non-bruising, stay on the shelf for six month moisturizer for your burger…..but it is NOT a tomato.

Every man I've ever met would do this...

Why do so many people choose to be insensitive happy ignorants?

One of the sites I visit often asked its viewers to send them words that they hated...

I have a bartender who hates that word...TRUE. When I sent her that image she begged me to stop torturing her.
She also hates $2 bills, but at least she has a rational explanation for her loathing. Local strip joints give all change in $2 so they can be used to....."tip" the dancers. And she found it somewhat disquieting that she had to touch something that was once shoved into a strippers ass by a drunk trucker from Boise.
So one day I paid my bill with this...

She gasped once, then ripped it into pieces and threw it in my face. I reconstructed the incident from the pieces, because...well, I had nothing else to do.

You think he had been sneezing often so they could set this up?

You know how disappointed I was when I found out there’s not beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me?

 Yes, those are paintings.

One Of My Very Own...

Hell hath no fury like my wife when she’s slightly inconvenienced.

I apologize for this even before you read it...

I must have surpassed my limit the night I wrote that.

When I have to leave anyplace and they ask what’s my hurry, I always tell them, “Parole hearing. And that motherfucker gets real squirrelly when I’m late.”

How to cut a bagel into two interlocking rings...

...or just use your fingers.
The question is not "How" to do such a thing, but "Why?"

Let's talk tires.
The first car tires were solid rubber, but they had a very rough ride. Air-filled tires cushioned the bumps, but got holes often...

Now let's skip forward for over 100 years...

...AND WE ARE STILL USING THAT TECHNOLOGY!! 
Think of all the time and money we waste fixing flat tires.
Why can't someone come up with a gel or little tiny rubber balls or whatever that will not leak out of a tiny little hole?

And STILL people believe that there is an otherworldly cause....even AFTER the culprits have shown how it was done. But in all fairness, some of them are rather impressive.

Extreme parenting....

 Well, I bet the kid won't do whatever he did again.

Please, people of the world, please stop trying to be normal.

I read one time of the number of Chinese troops you would have to shoot every day if they just lined up and marched forward before you overcame them reproducing themselves and just kept coming.

I have no idea...

If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise.

Photography...

Now let's suppose that instead of lounge chairs, umbrellas and ocean, there were just various colors of paint on a canvas...the beauty of the composition would remain.

If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.

Powerlessness depresses me more than you can know...

That women can do this is the true wonder of life...

And....AND her body makes it's own food for the baby!!!

If you have ever been "offended" by a nursing mother, you really need to reevaluate your priorities. And if you find something so fundamentally basic as sexually titillating, then you need real help. What that says about you is that you think this beautiful nurturing is all about you....you self-centered prick.
And did you know that most women's breast do not produce the same amount of milk?

Some women have a breast that won't yield any, while the other works just fine.

To be a good liar, you need to convince everyone that you are a bad liar.

I'll have some of what Janice is having...

I am who I am and your approval is not needed.

Sorry about the stupid dark red on black bullshit font, but it's not mine...

But my respect for people that do our bidding is genuine. I hate war...especially misguided war...but these guys don't make the rules.

This may be good advice...

 I just wonder how the Poles and French in the 1940's felt about it.

When ever you walk into the doctor’s office and they ask you what’s wrong and you immediately turn to your wife and she explains.