FOLIO OLIO: MONDAY #2157

Marriage is tough. It took me six months to get my wife to stop crying after sex.

In the Harry Potter universe, you could get a .gif tattoo.

I'm betting he practiced that look in front of a mirror...

I wish the bar for any job I hold could be set as low as the Pope's so that I could be constantly applauded for basic human decency and fucking common sense.

I knew I had found my perfect woman when my wife first played with my junk like a joystick while making fighter plane noises.

Photography...

Have you noticed that “Walking Dead” has been on for five seasons and not one Christmas Special.

I love making mosaics because they last so very long.

(that, of course, is not one of my own)

I wonder how long it will take the NFL to allow camera drones to fly around the stadiums.

You can almost hear and smell this, can't you?

Question: If you take your time and energy to trek far into the wilderness to get away from it all....would this enhance the experience or spoil it?

When I met an old friend's teenage sons and began to tell them out some of the shit their father and I did at their age...

And that is not far of an exaggeration.

I don’t take naps. Naps take me.

I love breakfast. This (which I didn't photograph) looks erection producing...

Don’t you hate it when you’re typing something but you’re thinking about something else so you subconsciously type what you were titties.

White people...

Non-white people...

Jesse Owens wins gold in Nazi Germany

And to think, he was proud to be an Americans even though he couldn't enter the front door of a diner.

Can you say "Over Engineered", boys and girls?

But I still like it.

I thought about making a joke about homosexuals, butt fuck it.

Two Irish nuns were sitting at a traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.

The Mother Superior turns to Sister Margaret, "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross."

So Sister Margaret rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye little fookin’ wankers, before I come over there and rip yer nuts off!"

Sister Margaret looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?!"

The Dada art movement is very difficult to understand for non-artists...

I'm not saying the above is Dada, but it is akin.

Dadaists basically thought that the world had enough art objects and argued that the worth of the art lay solely in the concept. This led to Conceptualism which is a whole nother color of a horse.

2 000-year-old roman face cream with visible, ancient fingermarks

My kind of guy.

Oh, look, a Rule 39 self-starter...

With no evidence whatsoever, I think this is a good idea...

My hand is stuck in a jar of salsa…and I’m going to leave it there. This is who I am now, I’m tired of fighting.

The water in both tanks is from the same time and place. The tank on the right has oysters.

While putting this blog together, I have found this type of thing extremely irrating...

How much practice must this take?

Notice netting for errant throws.

If you didn't smile over that last one, you need to get in touch with your inner teenager.

It's called a cross-wind and it's a scary thing...

It reminds me of trying to get in bed with my sleeping wife after I've had too much to drink.

I hate when engineering majors call themselves engineers. You don’t see pre-med students calling themselves doctors or art majors calling themselves pizza delivery guys.

Am I the only one who finds it amazing that we can transfer data from one brain to another merely by opening our mouth and pushing vibrating air in their direction? Seriously. It's a wonderful thing.