About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, January 23, 2015

FRIDAY #2238


This is arguably one of the most priceless objects in the world.
And now the news of the day...


Question: How could they allow anyone that incompetent to get near that object?


I once tried to pull the old "eat your super because children are starving in Africa" trick on my daughter. She countered with, "Well, then their parents must be starving also, so you eat it."


 Afghan refugees and internally displaced Pakistani schoolgirls attend class at a makeshift school on the outskirts of Islamabad, Pakistan, Monday, January 12, 2015. Pakistani children and staff returned to a school in northwestern Pakistan where Taliban gunmen nearly a month ago killed 150 people – almost all of them students.

 Look at normal for these children...
There was an excellent op-ed piece concerning a book about a child locked in a closet. The whole town knew the child was locked in the closet, that it was being abused, starved, but they also knew that to even acknowledge the child's suffering would take away the happy life of the rest of the citizens. Therefore not only did no one do anything to aid the child, but no one even thought of her. The greater good was deemed more important than the suffering of the one tiny child.
Then you think about yourself holding that iPhone, knowing but not willing to admit that people are so miserable in the factories making it that there is a sign: PLEASE DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE ON THE COMPANY FLOOR. You see, it cuts down on productivity.
Now look at those new Nike's you bought your young, happy son. And you, like those people in the fictitious town in the book, won't even let it disturb you dinner.
Have a nice day.

 Guy did this with only a hammer and a chisel...


This redwood tree is amazing

For the record, this is what happens when the 'apical bud' (top of a plant) is cut off, and every other branch grows in turn.


A new $500 emblem rug sat in the entrance of the Pinellas County, Florida Sheriff's Office for two months before a deputy finally noticed that it said…
They have ordered a replacement. 
Does anyone seriously believe that was a mistake? I doubt it. But the good news is, the sheriff's department is auctioning off the now famous rug.




Speaking of, here's one guy's way of taking graffiti up a notch...
Then I saw this and I got to thinking...
What about a graffiti artist using his/her skills to educate people. Keep using the fat letters, but use numbers in famous equations, or simple equations to help educate the young. I mean, writing your name (or "tag") over and over and over and over again seems just a tad narcissistic. 

Guy makes everyday objects out of clay pottery...


I can’t help being lazy. It walks in my family.



During the 13 years of his life, Toystory's job was to produce the finest bovine semen on earth. His genetic material was highly prized and he was a prolific producer of it. In fact, as a member of the "millionaires' club" among bulls, Toystory produced approximately 2.4 million units of semen for artificial insemination. Mourners recently laid his body to rest on a hill in Shawano, Wisconsin. From an evolutionary point of view, he was extraordinarily successful, having sired approximately half a million offspring.

Trimming a tree before bucket trucks...


Idaho man catches 28 pound trout. Gives up state record by releasing it. 
Can you imagine how that fish would explain his ordeal to the other fish?

 And now the news article that used every dick reference anyone could think of....

That must be one hungry eagle...

Guy was caught growing marijuana because his grow lights melted the snow on the roof...


Magdalena Ogórek, candidate for election as President of Poland...
That is all.

You know what I don’t get?

Pregnant.
- Said every man every where.


 Mason Wartman left his job on Wall Street to start up his pizza business in Philly.  Mason sells a slice of pizza for $1 in his restaurant. His customer's started paying it forward by paying for a slice of pizza for the next person. Mason places a pay it forward 'post-it' on the wall. Whenever someone hungry comes in - they can just grab a post it off the wall to pay for their meal. Mason's restaurant feeds around 40 homeless people every day.

He ought to meet my wife.


This cool comMercial for Madrid Fusión—an international gastronomic summit held annually in Madrid, Spain—shows the complicated life of a man who bears the burden of having two mouths.
I'm getting all these strange sex fantacies...but maybe that's just me.

The real hero is the person who just leaves all the ammo, food and other supplies lying around in videogames.


A TV news guy once said to me on camera, "You're so lucky to do something you love and make a living doing it." I said, "Actually, I've hated every mural I've ever painted until it's finished. Up until then it did everything in its power to make me look stupid."


Researchers have discovered the start of two massive black holes at the centers of their own galaxies beginning to collide.


What if every country has ninjas, but we only know about the Japanese ones because they’re not very good at it?




Photo showing what's being called "the first record of a thresher shark giving birth."
 The guy almost deleted the picture, not knowing what he had.

That guy is from South Carolina and around here we've all known he was gay for years.

One Of My Very Own...

 I had never thought of that.


B5.
Miss.

 It's true! I can barely make myself get to the 5 second mark to hit SKIP AD.

You can't find good help anymore...

I took a class in Feminism in college. It basically covered different periods in history.



Why everybody hates white people...

The first time I had sex with my wife, I said, "You're so tight." She replied, "Yeah, I hear that a lot."


 Here's one in action...

A candle burning on Earth compared to a candle burning in microgravity on the International Space Station...


Photo of true samurai, ca. 1866 by Felice Beato. A year or two after this photograph was taken, the samurai were abolished.


That story about my wife wasn't true.


My Final Word...

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.
"Not really, PaPa, it was boring. We didn't see a single asshole, queer, piece of shit, horse's ass, socialist left wing Obama lover, blind bastard, dip shit, Muslim camel humper, peckerhead or son of a bitch anywhere we went. We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn't have any fun."


I have be accused of being a communist. I am not. I favor freedom of the individual as much a possible and communism has a thing about that. 



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