FOLIO OLIO: MONDAY #2234

NEWSY BITS...

My Packers lost. I lost. I am sad. Leave me alone.
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Got 4 minutes to listen to a man who was very upset over the pope's comments on revenge killing for insults?

I would like to have a beer or two with that man.
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I know you've probably seen this, but this is some medieval shit...

But you do realize that god told the jews to do the exact same thing....kill ever man, woman and child, goat, etc, except for the virgins...then you could make slaves of them for your own sexual gratification. Read the book goddamnit! That it what the god you worship commanded...the all merciful god you worship.
Please. *************

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So says scientists at NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York.

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In a surprise move, the US Attorney General has ordered police departments to cease the practice of civil forfeiture (basically, stealing stuff and selling it) unless the forfeiture is related to a specific warrant or charge.

Imagine that. The government can't steal our stuff any more. What will they think of next? Stopping torture? Stopping locking up kids for smoking an herb? Jailing crooked bankers? Curtailing the practice of openly buying senators?
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I plead guilty as charged.

No man is a failure who is enjoying life.

Once, my wife's dear friend, a professional comedian was staying with us and that man called and asked to speak to her. I said she was out shopping, he asked me to tell her he called, thanked me and hung up.

(BTW I have no idea if he was arrested for dealing drugs)

I's the guy who would notice this sign's awkwardness immediately...

One of my dear bartenders said these words: "I used to be related to Loretta Lynn until she got a divorce."

I found that odd.

Because this is so reliable, druggist use it as a measurement tool...

For instance, they have a board on which there are circles. You pick the amount you want and pour the powder until it fills the circle.

This is also the way you cut wet clay...

Always look both ways before crossing a woman.

Octopus Eggs. Who knew?

That awkward moment when being at Magic Johnson’s BBQ and you see a mosquito.

What a nice thing to look at...

To repeat myself (something that I know I do often), I wonder how long it will be before we can hang an inexpensive flat object on our walls that can do that. I'm open for over/under date bet if anyone is interested.

Before we teach computers to love, maybe we should teach them about personal boundaries.

I'm the guy who made his own worn ash box and on the inside I placed an envelope addressed to "Dear Burn Up Crew" and included a $20 bill with instructions for them to have a few beers on me.

Coca Cola Grip: how to “grab” attention with your advertisement.

It might be clever, but it would piss me off.

West Germans stare down the East after a young woman made it across...

Those really were scary times.

Repost this because it's just so damn witty...

You may want to read and figure them all out. My favorite is AB.

How...cute...

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on the internet...and I mean that...

I just hope it loaded properly.

Just in case it didn't load, here's the link...not too long and laugh out loud funny...I mean that.

http://imgur.com/gallery/eQDVhS4

I watched a documentary about meteorites and the enormous sums of money paid for mailboxes, cars, sections of roof, etc that were damaged by the falling star stuff. I just wonder what she could have gotten for having that wound and surrounding skin cut away and tanned or whatever. Hell, I would have done it.

90 days? I call that covering one's ass. They probably knew it would last longer, but would much rather have it last longer than they predicted than shorter to the planned mission.

I've seen this before but didn't know the story...

That's the exact moment I would have called a ghost whisperer.

Seriously. Here's the headline...

Infants fed human breast milk rich in omega-3 (found in fish, nuts, and seeds) had higher academic test scores than infants fed breast milk containing more omega-6 (found in corn and soybean)

Fuck that guy.

Lottery ticket with $500,000 prize was a "misprint"...

Several people got the same "misprint" and were given $100 worth of free tickets.
How would you have reacted?
I've given it a lot of thought and here's what I would have done. After I got out of jail for assaulting ever lottery employee in the building, I would have burned down their homes, kidnapped their children (but been nice to them) and fucked their wives and/or husbands right in the ass...dry.

(another repeat for my newer viewers)

I went to a site called “Kids vs Cancer," and it turns out writing “My money is on cancer every time” will get you a fuckload of hate messages.

One Of My Very Own...

Another OOMVO...

Different types of venomous snakes have different toxins (requiring different antivenoms). Remembering the color and shape of the snake helps to get the right antivenom.

I just bet it does.

Disadvantaged youths who were given summer jobs committed fewer violent crimes than their unemployed peers, even after their jobs ended.

Well, I once woke up during a colonoscopy and said, "IIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Then I tried to remove myself from the room. Seriously, it took five of them to hold me on the table and I put up a good fight even with a fire hose sized tube stuck up my ass about 16 feet.

Bullshit. I'm the guy who just asks questions. Most stupid people cannot explain their stupid opinions....so, I win.

Oh, my....

Differences in vocabulary development between children of high and low socioeconomic status are apparent as early as 18 months of age, but may be improved through a stimulating home language environment.

(I think that most "conversation" between many poor parents and their child is "Shut up.")