MONDAY #2308

One Of My Very Own...

Remember this poor young woman?

 That became the No. 1 worldwide trend on Twitter.

Said she, “I had a great career, and I loved my job, and it was taken away from me, and there was a lot of glory in that. Everybody else was very happy about that. I’m single; so it’s not like I can date, because we Google everyone we might date. That’s been taken away from me too.”

I think the joke was just meant to be sarcasm of white privilege, but maybe that's just me.

Now a similar story of when "Fuck That Nigger" is not a racial insult.

Kentucky guard Andrew Harrison muttered "Fuck that nigger" into a live microphone when another player was asked a question about Frank Kaminsky after Kentucky lost 71-64 to the Badgers Saturday. The speaker, Andrew Harrison, is black.  Frank Kaminsky is white.

Curiouser and curiouser.

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 Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested over the weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in. “People can sell tickets to heaven,” a Jacksonville police spokesman said. “But the Watts misrepresented their product. The tickets were just pieces of wooden 2x4s spray painted gold with ‘Ticket To Heaven – Admit One’ written in marker. You can’t sell something as gold when it’s not. That’s where the Watts crossed the line into doing something illegal.” Tito Watts said in his police statement.
(please, please let that be an April Fool's Day prank)

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 What a douchebag. He hosted sex tapes from ex-boyfriends and charged the women $350 to have them removed.
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But running out of water is only part of the problem:

> A “dramatic increase in extreme heat,” especially in the San Joaquin Valley that’s home to much of the state’s farming, and the Inland South area.
> The average number of days with temperatures higher than 95 degrees Fahrenheit (35 degrees Celsius) may double or even triple by the end of the century, threatening one of the world’s richest agricultural regions.
> “By the end of this century, summers in California will likely be hotter than summers in Texas and Louisiana today.”
> Rising sea levels affecting the 840-mile (1,350-kilometer) California coast may also cause billions of dollars of losses to waterfront property and infrastructure.
> “By 2100, $19 billion in coastal property will likely be below sea level.”

And as the governor said when he began rationing, he doesn't care if it's global warming, short-term or long-term fluctuation or what ever, the rationing has to be done.
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This grocery store allows you to pick your own mushrooms...

 What a wonderful idea.

Clever, but I was trying to think of all the products that could be placed on a clock face; like, One-A-Day Vitamins, 2 ply toilet paper, Three Musketeer candy bar, etc.

I wonder how many different animals we had to jump on the backs of before we discovered that horses were cool with us?

John Malkovich 

And if you thought it was just a face swap on a computer, check out the differences in the next two...

 What an amazing man.

Before the Golden Gate, 1935

I can't get over the pristine paint job on that car.

95% of all Make-A-Wish first tries...

 Speaking of...

I’m a straight guy and I love romantic movies. But ones that are easy to follow…with lame plots…and a lot of nudity. Porn. I like porn.

Chastity gear...

 Chain to keep her from spreading legs is novel.

I so want to try this...

I’m almost 70 years old and I have no idea how girls make hats out of towels after they shower.

Want to guess how this was made?

 Guy tied some kind of fireworks to his drone...

Meanwhile in Canada...

Chainsaw powered skates...what could possibly go wrong. Just ask my friend, Mel. He tried to cut off his face with a chainsaw by only got through the lower jaw....seriously.

First postulated in 1931, the Big Bang has been the standard theory of the origin and structure of the universe for 50 years. In my opinion, (the opinion of a TV comedy writer, stripper and bar bouncer who does physics on the side) the Big Bang is about to collapse catastrophically, and that's a good thing.

According to Big Bang theory, the universe exploded into existence from basically nothing 13.7-something billion years ago. But we're at the beginning of a wave of discoveries of stuff that's older than 13.7 billion years...a lot older.

Here's the whole article if you are interested:

http://boingboing.net/2015/03/30/the-big-bang-9s-going-down.html 

I've always hated the term Big Bang, just like I hate "The God Particle." Scientists should not be allowed to name their own shit.
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This might be the first non-porn movie to clearly show sperm...

While pregnant, women can acquire pieces of DNA from their unborn child which can travel to the brain. Acquiring DNA from an unborn son may reduce Alzheimer's risk.

Four useless objects that are kind of fun to think of...

If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

 From a black male comedian...

The physics just don't work like this...

 I like young women who understand their true calling...

An American soldier during the Vietnam War using a bow and flaming arrow...

 Probably to set fire to huts, something they were very fond of doing. But what a remarkable photograph.

Sex comes in all sizes and shapes. If you can image it, somebody enjoys sticking their dick in it...

 But there are so many people who think laws should prohibit anything they, themselves, don't enjoy.

For instance, why is it perfect legal for me to fuck my next door neighbor for free, but if I leave some money on her bedside table then it's illegal? What ever happened to free enterprise?

 And why would anyone want to outlaw hard drugs? And don't tell me it is to protect people from themselves, but you know and I know you don't give a shit about losers, that's why they are losers.

 And who decided that fucking animals was so bad that we ought to lock up people who enjoyed it? Did anyone ask the animals if they liked it?

"I'm smart. Everyone else is stupid" — everyone

A little too arty for me, but I had to suffer through it and I didn't want to be the only one.

PHOTOGRAPHY...

 Some of the best sex I have ever had occurred in a bare room very similar to this...

Kind of looks like he's floating doesn't it?

Bin Laden in Full Judo Gear...

The last person you would ever hear say "hey gang" is someone in an actual gang.

 Words of Wisdom...