FRIDAY #2386

One Of My Very Own...

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 

I've listened to this a thousand times...

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Oh, look, the most beautiful baby the world has ever known...

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From a flooded zoo...

 Shit you don't see every day.

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This was the way things used to be.

That was before the internet. Now such things as bringing down a flag and legalizing gay marriage happen, more or less, overnight.

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I predict that neither of these two people will ever set foot in the oval office. I'm even putting money where my mouth is.

If you would like to take me up on a wager, here is my email address: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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This country expends a lot of energy on stuff that doesn't matter...like who can and who is forbidden to use what word.

 And at the same time the black community is killing itself.

If you took black on black murders out of the statistics, then America would look like a pretty peaceful place.
But that doesn't offend Al Sharpton. The word nigger offends Al Sharpton. 

If someone asked to choke you until you pass out during sex, don’t do it.

(In my wildest imagination I never thought I would have to say such a thing)

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Shit I used to tell my younger students: “If you look in the mirror with your eyes shut, you can see what you look like when you’re asleep.”

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This is what I call gun control.

I'm figuring if you have one of those, then you are pretty much guaranteed to be in control. 

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Is it just me...

 ...or are people just not giving a shit about the parking lines anymore?

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

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Laptop is only a figure of speech used mostly by those people who still have a lap.

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Dressing as Jehovah’s Witnesses would be the best drug delivery cover ever.

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If you still think that ketchup bottle farts are just as funny as people farts, then you and I could spend some time together.

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It's official. A woman will once again adorn a US bill.

 The last female face on US print currency was Martha Washington, who was on the one dollar Silver Certificate in the 1890s.

I vote for Harriet Tubman.

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If you study real hard, this could be your backyard.

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Live it up. You’re only middle-aged once.

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It's amazing how incredibly urgent emails become not urgent at all if you just wait long enough.

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Back when they took chances when advertising.

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The activity levels of 4-year old children were related to the activity levels of their mothers, with more active mothers having more active children.

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Bummer.

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Your bellybutton is your first scar.

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Just another reason I love the internet.

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You and Bill Gates have a combined fortune of around 80 billion dollars.

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 Nice.

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How could anyone not believe the power of god after viewing this?

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Nails were so valuable in colonial America that when a house was abandoned or otherwise unusable, it was burned down so that the nails used to build it could be harvested. “Nails were so expensive that when moving, people would burn their houses down to save the nails.”  This is partially based in fact. In the 1640’s, here in Virginia, the legislature passed an act that “…forbade the burning of buildings for the nails…” if you had a building that you intended to burn for the nails, you could have two honest men estimate the number of nails in the structure, and petition the legislature. The legislature would give you the estimated number of nails in exchange for NOT burning the building.

Statements like the above got me thinking about the preciousness of ordinary things, so I started boxing them up like they were museum pieces. This is called "Two Feet of Nails" and is, of course, two feet wide.

 Each nail was blued with gun blue and allowed to weather naturally.

That piece made it into a national sculpture show in New York many, many years ago. 

And I'm thinking that all the sculptures I've been making using cash are all just different ways to carry it around...mostly. 
Let's just say the nail thing and the cash things are related.

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Two scientists have analyzed the bizarrely-staged photo ops in which the Russian president is seen to enjoy a "Walter Mitty-esque fantasy life" where he "subdues tigers, rides horses, and communes with dolphins." It is basically just the way Russian politics works.

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Series of Bladeless Dyson Fans Create an Infinitely Looping Track for Balloons

In the process of getting this image I watched a clip about how it works. There's a motor in the base that draws in air through those vents then sends it out a tiny crack on the edge of the loop. Hardly bladeless if you ask me.

Here's a more ambitious usage:

Oh, look, there's more...

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It's been a long time since I ran across tattoos bad enough to warrant your attention.

 You have to read the text that accompanied this next one.

An extremely high embarrassment threshold.

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With this you don't even have to hold your beer...

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How To Sound Romantic In German:

1. Lower your voice and whisper something very softly.

2. In French.

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This three-wheeled hybrid vehicle looks more like a Mars rover than a bike, and its carbon fiber body is designed to carry you along your commute at the same speeds as a car. Not many cycles offer a roof for rain protection and cargo space for your laptop, but the Raht Racer has both plus a second seat for a passenger. Incredibly, the Raht Racer is capable of traveling as fast as 100MPH. The Racer gets its impressive speed potential from its hybrid flywheel generator, which multiples the pedal power of the driver.

 Many cyclists are driven by a need for speed, aching to find ways to maximize the single horsepower the human body can create. The Dutch engineers behind Human Power Team have been working for years to develop the fastest speed bike possible, and in 2013, they did it. Their high-tech recumbent bicycle, the VeloX 3 (the predecessor to the current VeloX 4, pictured), reached a speed of 133.78KPH (over 80MPH), setting a new world record for the fastest pedal-powered vehicle. A newer model, the VeloX V, will attempt to beat that record later this year.

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 Loyal viewer sent me a clip from a spoof ad for...

 (you have to say it aloud)

Anyway, it's only a couple of minutes and rather funny, especially the bloopers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xfzxesxk_Yo

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This is so sad. How could anyone find joy in gawking at these miserable creatures?

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Poor? Hell, growing up we were so poor a tornado hit our neighborhood and did $100,000 worth of improvements.

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Alternative ending...

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Broad brushstrokes by Martin Wehmer.

 I like brushstrokes...when done right.

 This next one is another artist, but he or she is a master of the stroke.

You probably noticed the single, but effective, brushstrokes in hair, but take a look at how she treated that one little portion of the neck.

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The little holes are for placing boards on which to stand while sawing. Eerie as shit...

 And there were hundreds of them.

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My wife told me she’s leaving me over my gambling addiction. I think she’s bluffing.

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If you and I ever spend any time together and I start using a weird inhuman voice for no reason…that’s a bad sign.

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 Truenesses...

Now think back on those Jews being run over by that Nazi truck. 

This from a non-murdered member of that Charleston church: "We still believe Jesus is our shield."

What kind of fucking learning curve is that?!