About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

TUESDAY #2436


One Of My Very Own…





Humor so cheap it's free.

>

Two Guns (1872-1934). Also known as John Two Guns and John Whitecalf Two Guns, this Blackfoot chief provided one of the most readily recognizable images of a Native American in the world after an impression of his portrait appeared on a common coin, the Indian head nickel.

I never knew that.

>

2,000-year-old Roman roof tile with cat problems...

>
They cut a circle in the frozen lake, attached an outboard motor and made a "natural" merry go round.
By the way, they drew the circle by anchoring a rope, then stretching it out and using it to mark the circumference. Just like I've done a thousand times in drawing on a mural.

>

In 79 AD, a baker put a loaf of bread into his oven and then Mount Vesuvius erupted and buried the city. The oven was found and opened in 1930 during excavations and the recipe has been recreated by chef Giorgio Locatelli. He uses buckwheat flour, which was more readily available then, and re-creates the quirks of the bread. (notice the string)


I am a real sucker for stories like that...enhanced or not.

>

 A few years ago Liebherr showed off the power and strength of its giant mobile cranes by lifting each other. That is the small crane (which is pretty damn big already) gets lifted by a bigger crane which gets lifted by an even bigger crane which gets lifted by the biggest crane

>

Think of the number of rounds fired at the OK Coral within yards of the warring parties and most of them had the wherewithal to RELOAD!...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET..WITH PEOPLE SHOOTING AT THEM! Now consider what kind of a chance you or I would have facing a man who actually knows how to shoot people. And as I understand it, there were 12 gauge shotguns in the mix. I mean, who can miss with a 12 gauge shotgun?!


>
Quality humor here at Folio Olio.
 It's like our motto...like the jihad gag earlier.

>

When my wife said she was sick and tired of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking….and then I saw her face.

(I love humor that takes a half second or so to get.)

>
What about discarded burning cigarettes?

>
Here's another upside down murals to be seen in reflection.
Don't really know why. More of a gimmick if you ask me. 

>
Elephant needed water...you got water...thanks.
 But in the article it had this picture.
That barrier looks like the Dragon Teeth erected to stop tanks in World War II. Here I suspect it was created (unsuccessfully) to stop elephants. 
Anybody know differently?

>
I have no idea what this means.

>

"The world needs an arbiter of good taste and common sense, and I am fully qualified for that job." — every living human


>

Farm Dog Level: Expert.
 Can we assume that the hay needs to be spread out for the cows to eat? And if so, why can't the fucking cows do it themselves.

>
WHEN YOU KILL TEN MILLION AFRICANS YOU AREN’T CALLED A ‘HITLER’.

His name is King Leopold II of Belgium. He “bought” the Congo and enslaved its people, turning the entire country into his own personal slave plantation. He used their enslaved labor to extract Congolese resources and services. His reign was enforced through work camps, body mutilations, torture, executions, and his own private army.


>
What a wonderful idea. You point out needed repair with obscenities so they get complaints and will show up.
 But instead of fixing the hole....
Fools. 

>

Frogs: Nature's Fleshlights
I'm not easily shocked, but...right when I thought the internet had taught me all it could teach me, I am shown a chimp mouth fucking a toad. That's it. My tour here is over.

>
 EGSY8p7: 13.2 billion light-years away

Can't you imagine the Spitzer scientist finding himself sitting at a bar with the Hubble scientists after that came out. Talk about your big dick contest.

>

A replica of the Eiffel Tower and residential buildings at the Tianducheng development in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, China.


>

Homes with swimming pools in a desert in the Palm Springs area of California.



Irrigated citrus trees sit surrounded by bone-dry land near Westmorland, California, on May 1, 2015. The Imperial Valley’s half-million acres of verdant fields end abruptly in pale dirt that gets three inches of rain annually on average. #


And now...SURPRISE!...they are out of water! Who in their right mind couldn't have seen that coming.
I can only assume that the big money boys who built all that shit made their money and moved on to more fertile ground...as it were.

>

>

Do you think Chewbacca has a human-like dick or is it one of those read rocket things that dogs get?


>

>
Tesla made electronic danger noodles that finds and charge their cars automagically.

For self driving cars, so the car can run off and charge while you work?
All I can visualize is my wife bending over the laundry basket in front of the dryer, maybe a little static electricity, and...


>
It's actually nice to know a two-headed girl(s?) can find gainful employment in the entertainment industry.
Only in America, folks, only in America. 
And what is that black thing at the base of that dick? Jeeez! Is that a leech?!
I think that's a leech!

>

*unplugs grandpas life support to charge my vape*


>
Holy Shit!
Is it just me, or is that the worst promotional photo ever taken. I wouldn't trust that guy with burying toxic waste, much less delivering my most loved offspring. He looks capable of eating a child and then burping loudly, to the chuckles of the other children he has locked in his basement.

>
 Monsanto, the company that's easy to hate.

>
Sunburns are a great way to tell the world you are a slow learner.


 >
I adore humor like that. And do recalled my joke about the  most lazy award for naming went to the man who came up with "Fireplace."

>
And then there's this pitiful motherfucker. This man has been charged with second-degree breach of peace and second-degree reckless endangerment. He is expected to appear in a Connecticut court on Aug. 19.

 He put his finger in his mouth and then stuck it in the ear of the 4-year-old, giving him what is called a "Wet Willy".

 Have we all lost our minds?
Maybe the story left out that his other hand was holding his erect penis....or the vagina of the child's mother.

>
Me Stuff...

The internet has made skeptics out of us all.
I have been fooled so often I am hesitant to post any "fact" anymore.
Keep reading...
 Then there's this guy and his ilk...

An Indonesian man displays his collection of rings with various gemstones at an exhibition and competition of the best gemstone at a mall in Jakarta on August 6, 2015. The recent fad of collecting rings with precious gemstone or polished gemstone locally called “batu akik” is sweeping across Indonesia, with collectors going for the very rare stones and its possession many believe will give the owner supernatural power.

"Give the owner supernatural power." Do you believe that? OF COURSE you don't believe that. But...BUT there are fools in Indonesia who believe it. Does their belief have any influence over your assessment of the power of the stones? Not one wit.

Then there is this...

In 1827, an angel directed the Prophet Joseph Smith to a spot in New York, where he found ancient golden plates inscribed with "reformed Egyptian" characters." Being unfamiliar with reformed Egyptian, Smith placed a "seer stone" (that he'd found when he was digging a well for his neighbor) into the bottom of hat and covered his face with the hat, which enabled him to view the words.


Do you believe that? 99.99% of you do not. But there are millions of well-educated Americans who DO believe that.
Do you consider both of the above examples naive at the least and downright stupid at the worse? Of course you do. Now I want you to walk right up to me and tell me about an angel who floated down to earth and somehow impregnated a young virgin and that her son turned water into wine and walked on water and only stayed dead for three day, then floated up to outer space where his dad sat on a throne.
Really? With the only evidence written, rewritten and translated dozens of times and that was witnessed only by men who had something to gain from people believing such silliness.


Science will eventually bury god and that is why religion must ignore science, or worse, call science's discoveries silly or malicious. Modern people, due to the internet, now have a highly tuned crap-detector and it doesn't stop at the edge of their screen.
My advice: Find a believer and ask him or her to describe exactly what heaven will be like. The same heaven that they strive for with every breath. Then ask them to show you in the bible where it says all that shit. The truth is, none of them know anything about what their ultimate goal is, except that it will be perfect. Well, perfect for you may be misery to me.

No comments:

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive