About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

THURSDAY #2457


One Of My Very Own…



Proud Mary by the great, the wonderful Tina Turner.
What a magnificent lady.

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Does anybody seriously think that the same god that created the entire universe gives a shit about you eating bacon? Come on, seriously?


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German tries to donate food to refugees but bag gets stolen in the Keleti Railway Station in Budapest Hungary

He obviously has never taken a bag of peanuts to a park full of squirrels.

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Last night my bartender said she has an eye appointment today and was anxious to see how bad her eyes had gotten since her last exam, since it had been many years. She added that the last time her eyes were 240 and 250. I immediately made an over and under bet on her new prescription at 280 average combined. We shall see.
Question: Do you think anyone, at any time, has made such a bet?

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Assuming things continue much as at present, the Atlantic Ocean will expand until eventually it is much bigger than the Pacific. Much of California will float off and become a kind of Madagascar of the Pacific. Africa will push northward into Europe, squeezing the Mediterranean out of existence and thrusting up a chain of mountains of Himalayan majesty running from Paris to Calcutta . . . These are future outcomes, but not future events. The events are happening now. As we sit here, continents are adrift, like leaves on a pond.

- A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

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“You never really die.” Think about that. The easy one is you have children and your genes are handed down, but there is also the influence you had on others.

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If you can’t find a flag to face during the National Anthem, just face the moon.





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I pissed off two men because I called them hipsters. Apparently the correct term is “conjoined twins.”


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Really? It occurs to me that it's always the people who didn't go to college who says shit like that. Now I know that there are many people who self educate, but I also know that the vast majority of folks do the absolute least they can do and not starve.
A college degree does more than teach you facts and figures. Done properly it teaches you how to think.

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“The less you think about yourself, the happier you will be.”

Is that true?
I would like to think so.

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This fraternity was suspended for this joke.

This sorority was not suspended for this joke.

What are those bastards going to ban next? Nude flaming lance bicyle josting?

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I prefer my puns intended.


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With any brains at all, this problem is easily solvable.
Instead of putting the people where the sidewalk is, put the sidewalk where the people are. That's what they did in the middle of the South Carolina campus. They remodeled the whole area and left it a dirt field for a semester, then they put the sidewalks where the traffic had left paths - the wider the path, the wider the sidewalk. Where there just had to be a corner, they planted briar bushes to curtail taking a short cut.

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Let's give credit where credit is due...

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Got an email that read:

"I wanted to share this with all of the internet on my own but don't feel I have the right, so here's a picture that truly moved me and made me think a bit."

With a tip of the blogging hat to you kind person.

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This hits very close to home.
I hired a friend to watch my house. There was but one rule. Because of the thousands of dollars in cash sitting around in my artwork, I don't trust strangers in my house. Not so much that they would steal it, but that they would talk about it around someone who would steal it. Therefore, my house watcher was instructed in no uncertain terms that he was not to allow anyone else in the house. Not only did he break the only rule, but the visitor fucked with one of the pieces and it can't be undone. Pity, that.

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They are developing the land around our old state mental hospital. There is something disquieting about places like that.

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I wonder what people who type U, R and K do with all the free time they saved.


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Notice how these limbs don't "touch" each other...
 Is that normal?

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A guy just trying to help...
 And then there was this one...
You ever met anyone who says 'Nip it in the butt'?

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I watched the film and it was awful.
 Guy decides to ride through flood waters...
 And predictably he is swept away never to be seen again...
It was too sad to think about a Darwin Award.

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I watched a young actor, Frank Dillane, in Fear of the Walking Dead. I predict he will be the new Johnny Depp...he's that good. 

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Positive thinking misses the point.


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He was sitting on the front edge of the tank and fell off. The driver was not able to stop in time and the guy was crushed under the 1944 M5 tank...while people watched.
Sitting on the sloping front of a bouncing, moving huge machine will get him a Darwin Award nomination.

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Treasure was found right off the coast.

Bartlett and the 1715 Fleet Queens Jewels Salvage Crew counted more than 300 gold coins valued at four point five million dollars. The larger coins-- called Royals-- tell an important story of the past. Royals were specifically made for King Phillip V and are  incredibly rare.  There were only 20 or so known to exist in the world before the crew found those 9.
Notice how close the treasure was to shore and that it was within walking distance of hotels further down the shore in Vero Beach.

Speaking of old found stuff...
 Is he doing what I think he's doing?

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Today I learned that it’s perfectly acceptable to stare at any species through binoculars, except my own.


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There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house


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 And during this entire rampage there are people just standing around taking pictures. Are they fucking nuts?!

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Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous.

(I'm sorry for that.)

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How did those borders become established?
 Well, they killed who was living on the land and moved in...just like we did.

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I scarred the hell out of a young woman by saying "Good morning." That's a thing people used to do. Google it.


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Broad Brushstrokes (in Space), Michael Kagen
I really like seeing the brushstrokes.

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You can't make rosé by running red wine through a Brita filter.


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Boxes in the desert.
Check this out.
I wonder where he gets his power, for he surely has A/C.

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Laziness in doing stupid things can be a great virtue.


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Who was the first person to think, mistakenly, that a fish taco would be a good idea?


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My young daughter was once flashed by a man in a pick up truck. I watched as the cop wrote the report, since he couldn’t seem to understand when my daughter said she saw his penis. Anyway, he asked what kind of pants did he have pulled down and when my daughter answered he wrote down, “Sweet pance.” And we give such people tanks.


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Got 15 minutes for a delightful animated arty short film?
Probably not, but here it is anyway.

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IT'S TRUE, YOU KNOW...
And that, dear lady, is why we have a militarized police.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good morning, Ralph!

Just some things:

http://646downtown.com/
Mural project in what I usually call my hometown. My parents still live there, so I think I'll go visit them this weekend.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0770802/
I'm pretty sure you mentioned this movie, if not, you should watch it. I really enjoyed it. Streaming on Netflix.

Some favorite youtube channels:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjFqcJQXGZ6T6sxyFB-5i6A

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCckETVOT59aYw80B36aP9vw
After watching a few you'll realize he is more an artist than a carpenter. He made the knife because.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6107grRI4m0o2-emgoDnAA

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnmgSO_4g6QcRzy0yFeglyA

Weekend posts are always nice. Don't stress about it though. You gave us the random button for the weekends.

Thanks again for all you do!
-grape










Ralph Henry said...

Thanks Grape, that was some good stuff. And thanks for the praise. I really appreciate it.

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