About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

TUESDAY #2469


One Of My Very Own…
 Let's try that again...



I get many emails like this every week, but this one is particularly detailed.
You just know that guy is a nice person.

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Let's play a game, shall we?
Here is my main gambling format. This week there are 16 games, so all you have to do is pick which team is going to win the game (point spreads mean nothing), then place the numbers 1 through 16 in the blanks. You put the 16 on the game you are sure you got right, and 1 only the game that could go either way. The winner is the addition of those numbers whose games you picked well. It's a lot of fun....and in my case, profitable. Play for the hell of it just to see how you would have done in the real world. I will try to remember to post the winning score for next week.
The tiebreaker is the combined score of the Monday Night game.

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I did very well on the gambling front last weekend, thank you very much.

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This from my nephew who raises bees concerning the beehive with the jars.

"Thanks for the honey idea. That's chunk honey, or comb honey mixed with extracted honey. But that is a clever way to have the bees do the work--naturally." 

We shall see.


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I used to be able to pull all-nighters, now I can barely pull all-dayers.


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Dating is easy when your standards are low
Or non-existant.

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This is why the wife and I try to tip in cash...


"There was outrage this month when some of the country’s best known restaurant chains including Pizza Express, Strada, Zizzi, Ask Italian and Giraffe were accused of keeping all or part of the service charges automatically added to bills rather than passing them on to staff... It emerged last week that high street restaurants were routinely holding back tips which customers had thought were heading straight into the pockets of waiters and waitresses."


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I post this not because it is all that great, but because it is an excellent example of the use of stencils.

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"A woman who tried to kill her husband by spiking his Christmas cherry Lambrini was caught after she misspelled a fake suicide note which claimed he wanted to "die with dignaty"."

(Serves the batch rite.)

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I wonder why more of these weren't dug out to show what they looked like when first erected.

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I told my daughter that every person gets 10,000 words per month and if she reached that number she couldn't speak until the new month began.


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There’s a Greek restaurant in my town that is so authentic it went bankrupt.


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That's the same lamp that was in the other similar works.

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Can Napoleon return to his place of birth? 
Of Corsican.


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This is the body of Sgt. Frederick Wyllyams, Troop G, Seventh U.S. Cavalry. He was killed and mutilated by a mixed band of Sioux, Arapaho and Cheyenne Indians near Fort Wallace, Kansas, 1867. The ritual slashes on Wyllyams’ body were done after he was killed to indicate the tribal affiliation of the killer.
Just to remind you, men of my generation used to cut of the ears of dead Vietcong and....wear them.


Buster Keaton riding the first Segway - 1920s.


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There is something....unsettling about this.

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I leave my browser history open in case anyone in the bar tries to steal my laptop when I’m in the bathroom.


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JFK in WWII

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My wife is not so much a trophy wife as a participation ribbon wife.


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Someone nodded at me today and I think it’s because I wore my trench coat.


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Scarecrows prevent murders.


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Said to be an Atlas V rocket.


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This just might work.
 I bet you could duct tape it on. Seriously, that looks like a very good idea.

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Holy shit, he's at it again!
I think he thinks that counts as exercise.
Actually, his lower arms look quite fit.

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I always keeps $5000 on me in case I want to buy fruit at Whole Foods.


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Another good idea.
Great sniper position...just in case.

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My marriage has been mostly me apologizing for saying something hilarious.


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Lame riddle.
For your children.

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If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.


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It's a palm tree.


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Riddle: A river.

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Snap, An Easy-to-Fly Drone With a 4K Resolution Gimbal Stabilized Camera and Smartphone Control



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Please tell me this is a real commercial.

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I think he has been practicing.

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Our ultimate goal is to make as many people as sad as possible when we die.


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I haven't a clue...

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The speed of a clock’s second hand is exactly 1 rpm.


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Oh, my.

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Shit you don't see everyday.

Buzz Aldrin with Geronimo's grandson Harlon Geronimo.
(Harlon?!)

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 That is how my wife acts at the end of a series.

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This is why women live longer than men.

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Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, thank god it’s the yawn.


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The best item to protect yourself from a Sasquatch attack is a camera.


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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You used to, one in a great while, do a theme day and I think you should do a couple of theme days. Maybe a "shit you don't see everyday" theme day and how about a "women who look like sluts, but I don't care" theme day? My two cents...and you know how little MY two cents are really worth. Carry on Sir Ralph
B Baggins

Ralph Henry said...

What a great idea. It will take a while since I have quite a few posts in the can, as it were. Maybe I could do a Theme Post Saturday to add a twist to same old, same old.
Peace be with you, my child.

Anonymous said...

armpit hair
guessing "fashion weak" is similar in protest of western beauty as your pension to critize high heals...FWIW

Ninja Grrrl said...

I always assumed high heels were only to be worn long enough to walk to the bedroom.

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