About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, October 5, 2015

MONDAY #2482


One Of My Very Own…




I've never been under a curfew, but I'm under one now. No one is allowed out unless you are emergency responders. The number one problem is, believe it or not, sightseers. It is absolutely astounding that people drive through standing water in one lane as the asphalt falls away into a watery abyss in the other lane. I just can't understand it.
Our water pressure is down to a trickle due to breakages and we have to boil the water we do have.
My wife's stores have survived, thanks to the two New Orleans-sized pumps that were installed by the city a few years ago. Believe it or not, I told my wife to make sure all her computers were off the floor and on top of something tall. She told her neighboring stores and almost none of them had thought of that.
Further shout out to thinking people. With a boil water alert it was suggested you turn off your automatic ice makers. What a great idea...and I mean that.

I feel compelled to tell you that my city's ruin is a total "flash flood" event. Within hours all that 21 inches (in 24 hours) of rain will drain off into the river, then we have to worry about a "flood" event and then it could get really ugly. But we will be okay, because all the news shows are asking people to pray for us. Problem solved.

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On a lighter note, I'm doing rather well on my football picks — only down 9 points off three loses. You really ought to try it...like, practicing for when you are man enough to enter the real game.
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There was a short article about this guy and I learned some things from it. Here it is:

"James Bristle of Lima Township was digging in a soybean field Monday when he and his friend pulled up what they first thought was a bent, muddy old fence post. But it was actually the rib bone of an ancient woolly mammoth.
“We think we’re dealing with an animal that was at least butchered by humans,” even if the humans didn't kill it, Fisher (a scientist) said. He believes the carcass was placed in a pond — a practice he's observed evidence of at other dig sites in the area. “It was essentially stored meat,” he said."

I can only assume the carcass was placed in the pond to keep other predators from eating it, and maybe to keep the maggots off it.


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25 years ago today that the wall came down.

 It's hard to believe it was that long.

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I actually agree with not mentioning that batshit crazy murder's name at the college, and it seems many news outlets are falling in line.




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A Kurdish man repairs weapons for Kurdish Peshmerga forces fighting against Islamic State militants, in his shop outside of Arbil, north of Iraq.
 These guys are born fighters. Reminds me of the Monteynard fighters in Cambodia.

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 This is a natural, though unusual, cloud formation.
 Is it any wonder that there are so many UFO sightings?
It's called closure, people, and humans fall for it all the time.

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WATER


Water permeable pavement
This is a close-up.

In many areas of the country, this is illegal.
 Not only would I allow it, I would write it into the building code. Further, I would have it collected, in every new home, to use to flush toilets.

Remember me questioning what this image explained?
 Well, it's about removing rocks from a fire and placing them in water to get it to boil and make it drinkable.
 This is how they made the bowl.
 Yeah, right.

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

 I'm from Alabama. I know the answer. Knowledge like that came with the hood.


Real Headline:


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ANIMALS


Gorongosa National Park in Mozambique was once among the most diverse places on earth, but decades of war decimated the park’s large animal populations. Now, an international conservation effort is working to restore the park’s wildlife — and we need you to help document this incredible recovery. Join us in identifying Gorongosa’s animals in trail camera photos and become part of our conservation team!
(not a movie)


Here's the website to get started.

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Very sad image.
And, of course, Climate Change people are jumping all over it. But we don't know how old it is, or whether it has cancer, etc.


You’ve probably heard that Australia is overrun with an invasive species: rabbits. Or at least you’ve heard of the “rabbit proof fence,” which incidentally, turned out to be anything but rabbit proof. How did this invasion start, anyway?

In 1859, Thomas Austin made a very small decorative decision with very large consequences. Austin was a British expat living in Australia, grown newly wealthy through sheep farming, and he had most of the trappings of his new lifestyle in place—the bluestone mansion, the horses, the 29,000-acre estate. All he was missing were some atmospheric reminders of his homeland. So he asked his nephew to bring him some English fauna—a bunch of blackbirds, thrushes, and partridges, and 24 European rabbits. Hunting them would make for a good weekend activity, and besides, he wrote, "The introduction of a few rabbits could do little harm."



The only hint as to what this means is that "it is hilarious."
 I don't get it. Anybody want to help me out?
(I just looked at that for the fifth time. I think it refers to bi-polar and that, Gentle Reader, is not "hilarious.")


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STUFF YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN


An Incredibly Rare View of a Double Solar Eclipse

That’s the sun being eclipsed at the same time by both the Earth and the Moon. This picture was taken by NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory.



Chlorine and Brake Fluid

I learned all (most) of the bones in middle school.
 I can still recall them. Comes in handy for crosswords. The ulna is mentioned in about 10% of crosswords.



Here's What Happens To Astronaut Poop
Yes, it is jettisoned and could be mistaken for a meteor as it enters the Earth's atmosphere. Well, shit.

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Something I never thought too much about.


 I have said many times that I will eat nothing with ingredients that I can't pronounce. I am currently reevaluating my position.

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 Police officers are in trouble for giving wheelchair man a push.

 Bummer.

Said to be The Matterhorn.

I once read a guy say that if you had to fall, fall off the right side, because it was a 100 feet longer fall so you would live longer. 

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The Work On The Street

Wrdsmth, Melbourne.
How refreshing. 

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You know what rhymes with 4 o’clock in the afternoon? Beer. Beer rhymes with 4 o’clock in the afternoon.


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I can just hear her voice, can't you? 

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Even at night I can tell the difference between two Chinamen.


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Guy pours molten aluminum into melons.

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When your doctor asks if you are sexually active and you are dating his daughter.

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When, exactly, did “At this point in time” replace “Now?”


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Morse Code Cheat Sheet



Dits are white and Dahs are blue. You follow the chart from top to bottom to the letter you want. So for example, if you wanted an 'X' you would follow  T (-), N (.), D (.), and then X (-) to get: -..- , the morse code for the letter X.
Okay, the only Morse Code I know is SOS: three short, three long, three short, and it's easy to see it on the chart.

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A fishing village in Greece
It is so easy to figure out why so many of the peoples of the planet settled near the ocean, but any rise in ocean levels are going to fuck them up the most.

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Maybe yes, maybe no.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

re: "The slang term for Brasil nuts is...."

What was Mark's answer?

I live in Alabama and I know too.

Anonymous said...

unfortunately I've heard my mother use this very term when I was a boy.
And yes...she's from Alabama

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