One
Of My Very Own…
Well, didn't we all?
For whatever reason, there was a bunch of political stuff on the interweb that I rated worth sharing.
This is very clever...
There was a huge error in the phone survey and the online survey...
But this isn't really a political blog, so...
The Cubs...what can I say...
Columbus statue on Columbus Day...
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Hanging out with young people all day, I hear some of the newest trends. We all remember a parent saying, "How do you know you don't like carrots if you've never tried them?"
Well, young people today have taken that a step further. They say, "How do I know I wouldn't like sex with a member of my own sex if I don't try it?"
So, now there are couplings going on that would never, ever have happened in my generation. And I just sit here watching the world go bi.
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Dentist: "How often do you floss?"
Me: "Every day."
D: "How often do you lie?"
M: "Every six months."
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Then there's this guy...
Did you notice his crotch?
There are parents who leave it up to their sons. You simply wait until they are old enough to decide for themselves and whether for aesthetic or health reasons choose to have it done...it's the young man's call. I respect those people very much.
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There are parents who leave it up to their sons. You simply wait until they are old enough to decide for themselves and whether for aesthetic or health reasons choose to have it done...it's the young man's call. I respect those people very much.
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Pretty sure marriage was invented to help people overcome
their fear of death.
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The wife was sent this old picture of a mosaic I did a long time ago.
You can't see it in the photo, but there is water cascading over the front. You can see it splashing at the very bottom. I am pretty proud of that. All the other artists proposing their ideas wanted to paint something, but the reason they asked for new ideas was that the original paint was peeling off in chunks as big as your hand.
That was also the meeting around a huge boardroom table whereby the CEO walked in and the first thing he said was, "Which one of you are the artist?"
It was during that brief period I was beardless, and I decided immediately to get back to my true look.
On a side note, the CEO's name was O. Stanley Smith and he was a hell of a guy...and I mean that. Then, years later, I wrote one of my best novels and named a major character O. Stanley. Memories like that makes me smile.
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This man was a famous magician....true.
That was also the meeting around a huge boardroom table whereby the CEO walked in and the first thing he said was, "Which one of you are the artist?"
It was during that brief period I was beardless, and I decided immediately to get back to my true look.
On a side note, the CEO's name was O. Stanley Smith and he was a hell of a guy...and I mean that. Then, years later, I wrote one of my best novels and named a major character O. Stanley. Memories like that makes me smile.
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This man was a famous magician....true.
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I went into Whole Foods yesterday and asked for half a
watermelon just to see how they would react.
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Ready to be depressed?
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In 1938, with the outbreak
of World War II on the horizon, Sir John Anderson was placed in charge of
air-raid preparations in Britain. He commissioned engineers to design a cheap
and simple shelter which could be distributed to the population. The result:
the Anderson Shelter.
The guy above is depicted, probably for advertising, trying to figure out the construction instructions.
Most people covered them with earth...
The rabbit is a nice touch, don't you think?
Some people were a little more creative...
Some people were a little more creative...
And they worked! I mean it! Take the time to study these images!
These next people survived with minor bruising with a 30 foot crater within feet of the shelter.
I really like learning stuff like that. Imagine how many lives he saved.
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ME: Is it true you can smell diseases?
MY DOG: Yes
ME: Well do I have any?
MY DOG: Yes, you're insane
ME: Wow you can smell that?
MY DOG: No
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“Pet
Baby” by Above Average is a service that sends would-be parents a practice baby
that they can treat like a pet. Unlike adopting a dog or other animal, a Pet
Baby gives people the chance to practice on a real human baby, but without any
of the responsibility of having a child of their own.
And that, Gentle Reader, was stated to be factual.
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I have a friend who is going to Vegas just to photograph at the sign scrap yard there...and they have a great one.
He seemed pretty serious in that he paid dearly to be allowed in at sunrise, for the light and absence of other tourists.
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Great NOVA show on PBS about cyber-attacks. You might want to look it up.
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Great NOVA show on PBS about cyber-attacks. You might want to look it up.
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Woody
Harrelson as Lyndon Johnson, from Rob Reiner's 2016 movie "LBJ."
You know that the real LBJ was one crazy son of a bitch.
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Friend: What's it like to have a baby?
Me: Remember when your neighbor was
practicing the clarinet at 1AM? It’s like that, but you can’t call the cops.
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Haven't posted any weird names lately.
I taught in inner-city schools, remember, and I can state as a fact that it really doesn't take long until names like that just roll out of your mouth as normal.
The name on the roll was "Lord Cambridge," so when I called his name and he raised his hand, I asked, "And what does you mother call you?" Usually they will say LC, or Bubba or some such shit, but he said, "Lord Cambridge" and by the end of class I never even registered the oddness.
But my all-time favorite was Lutherique. He pronounced it Laquintheus.
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The name on the roll was "Lord Cambridge," so when I called his name and he raised his hand, I asked, "And what does you mother call you?" Usually they will say LC, or Bubba or some such shit, but he said, "Lord Cambridge" and by the end of class I never even registered the oddness.
But my all-time favorite was Lutherique. He pronounced it Laquintheus.
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I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start
off as a "ghost" and end up as a "drunk ghost that needs a ride
home."
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But here's the other side of the story...
And there is ALWAYS another side to the story.
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Chunk
taken off a graffiti plagued wall in West Compton, Los Angeles.
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I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and
now there's a wormhole in my kitchen.
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Oh, my.
And if you try to tell me that it doesn't really boost testosterone levels, you are missing the whole fucking point.
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I would like to meet that young woman.
Seen that before? Sue me. I think it's hilarious.
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Seen that before? Sue me. I think it's hilarious.
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Revenge is a dish best served with a laxative that looks
like chocolate.
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Spreading disinformation is like a hobby for Americans.
I might post something false, but I never do it on purpose. And most importantly, I would never do it to further my agenda....whatever the fuck that is.
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I might post something false, but I never do it on purpose. And most importantly, I would never do it to further my agenda....whatever the fuck that is.
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Ever how much money they saved by not erecting a solid slab was not worth it.
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True? Probably.
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You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded
there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb.
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That reminds me of the woman who caught me reading "The One Minute Manager" under a palm tree on a small island off the coast of Mexico. It was a very good book, but, I must agree, totally misplaced.
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My guess is that he will never do that again.
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My guess is that he will never do that again.
And to think, that lucky knuckle head will get credit for a goal.
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Supercooled Helium becomes
a superfluid, allowing it to leak through glass.
How do we know it's not just condensation, like on an iced tea glass?
Okay, probably not.
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There is something beautiful about this.
Okay, probably not.
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I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but
I've never been there.
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There is something beautiful about this.
That's taffy.
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Found a gif of that paving stone installer I've previously posted as stills...
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Found a gif of that paving stone installer I've previously posted as stills...
Can you imagine the guy who thought that up trying to sell it to his bosses?
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Life will find a way.
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Life will find a way.
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Wife: I can't cook because, I "believe" I can't
cook. And you want to know what makes me believe that?
Me: The arrival of the paramedics?
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Musée du Louvre
I used a ladder kind of like that once, only the one I used had a straight ladder protruding straight up out of the top. It was not a pleasant experience.
Priceless is an interesting word, isn't it? Things are always classified as priceless, then they sell at auction for multi-millions of dollars. We ought to come up with another term, like "Really, really, really expensive." Or "A once in a lifetime buy for a really rich person." Or better yet, "Don't try to own it, let it stay in the museum so all of humanity can enjoy it."
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Priceless is an interesting word, isn't it? Things are always classified as priceless, then they sell at auction for multi-millions of dollars. We ought to come up with another term, like "Really, really, really expensive." Or "A once in a lifetime buy for a really rich person." Or better yet, "Don't try to own it, let it stay in the museum so all of humanity can enjoy it."
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In the US we could pay off the national debt with just such a method on almost any topic...climate change comes to mind.
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(is that true?)
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If an apple were to be magnified to the size of the Earth,
then the atoms in the apple would be approximately the size of the original
apple.
(is that true?)
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Bacon gives me a lardon.
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And the problem is...?
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What a great idea.
Did you notice that each slice has a little notch at the bottom? What's up with that?
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Blue ink was never applied
to this bottle.
My father-in-law is giving me his beer can collection. Many of them are brands that no longer exist. He has a few empty with the pull tab intact. He's got several bottles; one that has another brand cap because the two brands were bottled in the same plant and somebody fucked up...so said a spokesman for the brewery.
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1 comment:
I was at the Musée du Louvre once and they told me they have more undisplayed art in the basement than they have on display for people to see. I don't know if that is true but your picture reminded me of it.
I've been told the Smithsonian is the same way but they rotate their inventory so the public eventually gets to see everything they have.
B. Baggins
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