About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, November 20, 2015

FRIDAY #2528


One Of My Very Own…



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GOT THIS COMMENT YESTERDAY:

"If you are held responsible for your actions when you drink and drive, you should be help responsible for having sex while intoxicated."
Agreed, with the caveat that there is a difference between fucking and getting fucked.


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A new Global Terrorism Index annual report claims Boko Haram in Nigeria is the world's deadliest extremist group, with the grim honor of having killed more people than Daesh.
(Notice their use of "Daesh", the name ISIS hates.) 

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YouTuber Adrian Gee of Australia has over 100 million views for his "social experiment" videos. He recently uploaded a video where he posed as a blind man standing in the street. He would approach strangers, hand them a $50 bill and ask if they had change for a $5. In the video, the strangers never corrected Gee, and stole the $50 bill instead.

The video became an international hit with over 2 million views and Gee appeared on TV news shows around the world to talk about it. But it turns out that all of the strangers were actors that Gee enlisted. Gee did not tell them the nature of the project, and now the some of the actors are getting all kinds of hate from people who think they are actual crooks.

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How to cook a marijuana marinated turkey

http://boingboing.net/2015/11/19/how-to-cook-a-marijuana-marina.html

Speaking of...

Musician in Colorado and found this in the tip jar.




Ever said, "I'm nauseous?"

Nauseous has been misused so often that the incorrect usage is accepted in some circles. Still, it’s important to note the difference. Nauseous means causing nausea; nauseated means experiencing nausea.


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That moment when Walter realized he may have miscalculated.
 There used to be danger in adventure.
Now you can stop for Starbucks on the way up Everest.
 And don't tell me that some people die climbing Everest. Some people drown in a canoe but that doesn't make them adventurists.

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When you use comprise, you put the whole first: “A soccer game comprises (includes) two halves.” When you use compose, you put the pieces first: “Fifty states compose (make up) the United States of America.”

I didn't know that.

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 14,000 drawings of the French Revolution posted online.

You may want to look that up.

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Yeah, well this guy died...

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A Salvation Army bell ringer just wished me "Happy Holidays" so I guess we know whose side in this War on Christmas that traitor is on.


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I used to be pretty damn good at this game, but not this good...

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A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art.

- Paul Cézanne

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What a wonderful idea...
You think that will work? There are pros and cons both ways. I think how much wind there was would have a lot to do with it.

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This is exactly what I look like in a grocery store. 
(There are hundreds of these type gifs on the interweb. Prepare yourself.)

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There are many people on the interweb who get very upset with quotation marks used this way... 
 And some usages are just weird.

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"I’m not a bloody hero - the only unusual thing about me is that I survived"

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Mozart wrote his first symphony when he was 8. I’m 70 and just rehearsed 4 times what I’m about to tell the drive thru lady.


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I'm thinking there is a way to spray on a clear coating to make that permanent.

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Why were Star Wars movies were released 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? I really, really want to know.


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Ben Carson, my family stabs each other too and that's why we've decided that none of us should run for president.


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This is exactly how I look in the parking lot after shopping.

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The wife came across this the other day. Kind of faded, but that's one of the few times I used myself as model.

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Yesterday I met a man whose dog has its own FaceBook page. The dog’s name is Fanny Mae because……..it had to be rescued.


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How to strike a match in the wind...

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Headline:

I thought it was an Onion story, but I was wrong.

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My next prostate exam I’m going to say, "What does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?"


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I know this is a repost, but I have new viewers.

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Fact: More people are bitten by New Yorkers each year than by sharks worldwide.


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 Soul stealing, photos by Antoine Geiger
I found the one in the museum very telling.

But there is another side of the story, there always is.
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When you whistle at a bird, it’s as offensive to them as saying “ching chong ding dong” to a Chinese person.


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Alain Bats | Hopare paints a new mural in Bayonne, France

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If you look at someone in the forehead when they're talking to you, it makes them really uncomfortable.


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I know these are not balloons.
But seeing it reminds me of how very angry my zookeeper bartender got when she went to an event that released thousands of balloons. It had something to do with the animals that eat them when they land deflated.

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I wish I could get my life together enough to find a therapist.

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Individuals who were instructed to only check e-mails 3 times per day (as opposed to as many times as they wanted) reported lower levels of daily stress.

- Science Daily

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PHOTOGRAPHY


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How do I apply this ointment "liberally" without compromising my conservative Christian values?


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 When he has the remote for your new vibrating panties


Do you think this guy will ever get laid again?

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You know what’s insane? Women’s clothing has fake pockets and baby clothes have real one.


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Fluid cooled computer...

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Dogs can be funny.
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I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane.


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Because Redneck!

 He only did that to attract the girl.

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Found this in a photo collections of “Bad Days”…

…but look at that guy and know that that image of him has gone worldwide.

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Nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope.

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If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would probably just cancel on them at the last minute


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 Nice guy trucker doing what nice guy truckers do...

And ran across this reated image on the same day...

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Whenever someone starts checking their phone when I'm talking to them I like to regain their attention by combing their hair.


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Wait for it...

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Whoever named the horseradish probably didn't get to name another vegetable after that.


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