THURSDAY #2513

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 

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There is a problem with Colorado's legal pot law.

 That's right, they don't know what to do with all the money.

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A little girl came to my door dressed like a pirate.

I said, "Where are your buccaneers?"
She said, "Under my buckin' hat." 

In other Halloween news...

The "pot-laced" candy that a man from Ohio complained about was tested by police and had no traces of drugs. The razor blade in a Hershey bar had been placed there by the kid who found it. The needle in the candy bar was the handiwork of a kid looking for attention. The 16-year-old girl who said she needed 23 stitches to sew her cheek back together after chewing bubble gum with a razor blade hidden in it admitted the wound was self-inflicted.

It is so very easy to scare the American public. Some scientist who feed nothing but bacon to a few rats found that some of them had an increase in cancer and we freak the fuck out. One disrespected scientist tell us that vaccines cause autism and...well, you know. 

How did we end up so skittish?

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All of that hassle and not one whit safer. See previous statement on the easy at which we can be terrified.

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The morning is wiser than the evening.

- Russian proverb

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 One of the earliest photos showing a Native American with a wolf. I imagine it was captured as a pup. But however they got it, I bet it would die protecting them.

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 Stone Carving-by Emmanuel Augier in Levans, France

How wonderful.

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When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail...

As a young, drafted US soldier, it must have been tough knowing you were risking your life for nothing. I've talked to many vets who tell me they knew the South would be overrun as soon as we left. Remind you of anything?

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"I'd like to buy an I."

I just bet you do, Sparky, I just bet you do.

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You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(my wife may be the exception)

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 Speeding off from Darwin on October 18, 42 futuristic solar cars from more than two dozen countries competed in the 2015 World Solar Challenge. There were teams from the United States, Belgium and Iran, but it was the Nuon Solar Team from the Netherlands' Delft University that emerged victorious on Thursday, crossing the finish line in Adelaide after more than 3,000 kilometers (1864.11 miles) on the road.

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Crossword puzzle clue I knew immediately: Whitehall whitewall

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Weaving a steel flex cable...

I want to be the guy who just stands up there watching it.

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Crossword answer TYRE

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You have to admire this girl (these girls?). Their names are Abigail and Brittany Hensel.

Question: Do you think she is right-handed? If so, does the one on the left have to ask the one of the right if she can write something?

Or can each hand write at once. If so, I say fuck dancing in the kitchen, I want to see drawing two pictures at once.

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If you can't laugh at torturing squirrels, what can you laugh about?

I would put cat food in that basket.

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I once burped, farted and sneezed at the same time, and now my left eyebrow has a permanent, exaggerated tic.

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Koulibaly gives a 50-meter pass, Callejon chips it over Midtjylland keeper

I hear Benny Hill music.

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BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Soup's on!

 I think that sumbitch took his head clean off!
I guess that's what he gets for standing out all by himself.

And how about this one...

It took down a goddamn deer!

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How not to die when you lift alone.

What a wonderful invention.

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If you can't laugh a Parkinson's...

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You might not be gay, but your right hand is.

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If I'm not mistaken, that is porcelain. It is highly flexible stuff.

Many (most?) clays are more elastic the longer they are left to cure. Pottery majors usually make plastic garbage cans full of moist clay to be used in coming years. In China, men would dig huge pits, fill it with mixed clay and cover it, to be dug up by their grandsons. It was said to be the best throwing clay in the world.

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Can't guarantee this is all true, I just know I'm not trusting some clerk in a health food store with my health.

The largely unregulated supplement industry sells a variety of weird and sometimes dangerous stuff that it wink-nudge promises will cure what ails you, but even the most accurately labeled, evidence-based supplements can make sick people much, much sicker.

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Five days a week at Seattle’s Providence Mount St. Vincent care center, the very young and the very old come together for music, art, and friendship. The care center, known familiarly as “the Mount,” is home to 400 older adults and others who need assistance. It’s also the site of the Intergenerational Learning Center, a community daycare program with a mission to teach children about aging, show them what it’s like to live with disabilities, and give them opportunities to “receive and give unconditional and unbounded love.”

The babies and toddlers “have no particular agenda,” a supervisor says. "They simply live in the moment and inspire their older friends to do the same. That present perfect is what we see every day.”

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This is so satisfying...

 I've done it a thousand times. Only with latex paint and only if it isn't left in the bucket too long.

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In 1915, Swedish glass blower Alexander Samuelson designed the iconic Coca-Cola bottle. The form was inspired by the cocoa bean, while integrating the grooves in the glass apparently made it possible to patent the bottle design.

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I remember when I referred to my knees as right and left instead of good and bad.

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My top ten Folio Olio viewers by country...

 What the fuck, Canada? What did I do to piss you people off so much that Costa Rica visits more often?

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I watched the movie Blink.

I guess they didn't have a clean the foot guy.

As is my rule, I will post anything with my name in it.

 Ralph is her dog.

 And then there was this plot crutch...

 She got away by blending into a parade.

And what kind of parade was it?

 Of course.

There was a scene that showed nipples reaching for the sky, though. Dayum!

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I wouldn’t need a glass of wine after work if my job was tasting wine.

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Charlotte's Web MD

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You think they practiced that?

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Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don’t think I can ever repay you.

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Clock uses your shadow...

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Have you ever wondered why they are called quarks?
Yes. Yes, I have.

In 1964, Murray Gell-Mann and George Zweig suggested that hundreds of the particles known at the time could be explained as combinations of just three fundamental particles. Gell-Mann chose the name "quarks," pronounced "kworks," for these three particles, a nonsense word used by James Joyce in the novel Finnegan's Wake: "Three quarks for Muster Mark!"

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5,000 ducks going for a swim...

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Have you ever stabbed yourself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife?

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I have a new hobby. I wait for a new person, preferably a woman, comes in the pizza restaurant, orders a pizza to go, then sits near me at the bar to wait. After turning up the volume on my phone, I whisper into Google search, "What are anal warts?" Then I hold the phone and let the person listen as the Google lady tells her not only what anal warts are, but how you get them.

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Crowded, ain't it...

Astronauts returning home from the ISS aboard a not so spacious Soyuz capsule. I would, of course, freak out.

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