One
Of My Very Own…
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Australian parliament has
passed a law today that ensures that parents who don't immunize their children
will not receive childcare benefits, rebates or the Family Tax Benefit supplement.
With that in mind, let's take a moment to thank this magnificent human being...
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You have to admire women like this...
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ALABAMA: This is Lisa
Graham. She was sentenced to death for hiring a man to kill her daughter.
Say what you will about
Alabama, but at least they take their parental discipline seriously.
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Are shadows made up of shade or is shade made up of
shadows?
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He was also the used car
salesman in Arnold's True Lies.
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ALIENS: Here's new technology, humans.
HUMANS: Can we use it for porn?
ALIENS: *sigh*
HUMANS: We're using it for porn!
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I can't take it anymore! Every night from 7 to 8 PM, my
neighbor's child practices the piano with what sounds like her face!
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I've never thought that sticking your dick in someone besides your wife was that big a deal. It is contrary to every urge in our bodies. I mean, you didn't DO anything to the wife. You DID something to that woman you met in the motel lounge at 2 o'clock in the morning after a long day of meetings in Boise and you don't remember a damn thing about it anyway, except that her name was Barb...or Tammi.
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I mean,
really though, who hasn't seen a UFO at this point?
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Venus 2.0
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Someone just told me my joke was factually inaccurate,
citing the Bible as his sources.
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Do you remember what movie this is from?
The old 'Time Machine'...which was a great movie.
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Sleep is the "Turn it off and back on again"
tech support for the human brain.
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I was very disappointed when I saw that Disney forms its topiary in wire then just has a dense vine grow on the surface. I considered it cheating. The above is not Disney.
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This photo has not been manipulated.
I watched a film clip and to see him "run" was painful to me.
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Go to Google images and
type in your first name and then 'glamour shots' and let me know the first pic. Here's what I found...an old shot of me that my wife took when we were in Mexico.
Speaking of family photos...
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The hardest part of any relationship is when it's not your
turn to talk.
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God - 0, Motorist - 1.
Dayum!
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Fordite: a rare mineral
only found in old Detroit auto-painting facilities.
It kind of looks like the pictures I saw of the inside of my colon.
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I have no idea what this is, but I can guarantee you that it is very important.
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The view from Mexico.
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"It feels like it was only 7 years ago" — dogs
recalling memories.
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Surely there is a way to find out...unless, of course, it empties directly into an aquifer, in which case in a hundred years when people who tap down to it, they are going to freak over the pingpong balls.
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For my daughter.
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POW blinking in Morse code
to spell T-O-R-T-U-R-E during a forced interview.
Hero? Probably. But did you notice that the vast majority of prisoners were pilots or other high ranking officers who had information the captors wanted. The lower ranking soldiers knew they would be executed immediately, yet they still did their job. So who is the real heroes?
But the way, after the ordeal that our pilots endured in Vietnam, they changed the rule book for POW conduct. "Only give your name, rank, and serial number" was changed to, more or less, hold back information as long as you can. It became very clear that anyone could be broken.
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But the way, after the ordeal that our pilots endured in Vietnam, they changed the rule book for POW conduct. "Only give your name, rank, and serial number" was changed to, more or less, hold back information as long as you can. It became very clear that anyone could be broken.
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A zombie apocalypse would be so much funnier if we started
burying people in those fuzzy duck slippers that quack when you walk or clown costumes.
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Rolls Royce has umbrella
built into car door.
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A patron once told my bartender about a wonderful woman he
was dating and she said, “I thought you were gay!” He said, “I'm not gay!” And
the bartender asked, “Are you sure?” That’s when I had to enter the discussion
with, “That’s not something a guy is likely to just forget.”
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Think about this one for a minute.
That's kind of clever, in a sick kind of way.
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At my new doctor’s, under ‘Medical History’ I wrote, “Fleming
discovered penicillin in 1928”.
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My 4yo once came into the living room, crying, "I
don't want Santa to see me when I poo."
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PHOTOGRAPHY
It's all about the light.
Nice texture.
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How it Works, from Ladybird
Books
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Jokes don’t kill people. Muslims who are offended by jokes
kill people.
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It took me several views to figure out what had just happened.
I've read that they can survive in the wild without a limb. That probably helped them last for...oh...EVER.
Now go back and watch the victim. After an appropriate delay he looks over, like "Duuuude?"
Now go back and watch the victim. After an appropriate delay he looks over, like "Duuuude?"
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Woodpecker fills antenna
with acorns.
"Well, here's the problem right here."
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My father once declared war on a squirrel. It kept robbing the bird feeder, just like this one.
He bought dozens of devices, moved the feeder dozens of times, etc, but that squirrel thwarted every deterrent.
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