About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, December 18, 2015

FRIDAY #2556

One Of My Very Own…








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Then there's this prick...
 He's been arrested for a securities violation...

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Bank robbery suspect returned to rob same bank during live news report.


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I "make love" the same way I play video games, I just press all the buttons and hope to hell that it's a special move or something.


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Okay, this is awful...
All he did was compress the particles. 
But I wonder just how much more awful it is from other big cities.

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Confederate prison, with a ball and chain... 
 But couldn't he swing the ball as a weapon?

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One of the greatest military minds the world has ever known. Moshe Dayan.

 I so respect the man I had a dalmatian with black around his eye and named him Moshe.

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There are people who blame Obama for this...
One guy can't fuck up the whole world. It takes very many people. There used to be an old saying that goes something like this: People are against you, they are for themselves.
But I think the rules have changed.

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Civil War Veteran Jacob Miller of the 9th Indiana Infantry was shot in the forehead on Sept.19th 1863 at Brock Field at Chickamauga. He survived the shot, later writing that he had a constant reminder of the Chickamauga Battlefield and the constant pain he suffered from that wound.
Poor bastard, but I bet it's a great conversation started at the hoedown.

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So she was a smoker.
Who knew?
But don't her pearls fit nice.

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As a mural painter, I have spent a lot of time on a ladder.
It didn't take me long to teach myself how to paint with both hands to reduce the times I had to move the ladder.
Plus, I have painted two murals that looked very similar to the image above. In both cases what the man on the ladder was painting was just short of being complete...like he was adding the final strokes.

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Due to the nature of the beast, north is not always what you would think.
 The two north poles are about 1200 km apart from one another.


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More than half of the world’s feed crops will soon be eaten by Chinese pigs.


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Saying goodbye to his german shepherd, who is diagnosed with heart cancer, and receiving euthanasia, so he doesn't suffer.


And this man knows that because his horse broke a leg, his time is over...

But then there is this. A woman knew that her baby would die shortly after birth due to a malformed heart, but carried it to term so she could donate the infant’s organs and save other lives.

Boy, do I have mixed emotions about that. Life is, indeed, very, very complicated.


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Perpetual motion is motion that continues indefinitely without any external source of energy. This is impossible to ever achieve because of friction and other sources of energy loss. A perpetual motion machine is a hypothetical machine that can do work indefinitely without an energy source. 
This kind of machine is impossible, as it would violate the first or second law of thermodynamics. 
Those are still cool as shit to watch.

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This is a great idea, of course, but...
Does this problem occur often enough to require such an elaborate solution? 

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Speaking of being rebuffed...
Moulay Hassan, Crown Prince of Morocco hates it when you try to kiss his hand.
I, course, would like to slap the shit out of the spoiled bitch.


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The California Redwood vs. The Giant Sequoia

 What a wonderful idea.
No, that's more than a wonderful idea. Imagine hundreds...thousands of homes nursing two of those trees to an age that it could survive outside, then planting them in your back yard. Think about that!
I wonder how to get a seedling like that.

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Oh, holy shit...no. Please...no....
I would turn around and walk around the block.

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A temple in South India was found to have more than $22 billion in gold hidden away in locked rooms rumored to be filled with snakes. 


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I wish I had had this image when I posted that Type 2 diabetes can be cured just by losing weight.

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Two theories of what happens if you fall into a black hole: you die a quick death or you die a very quick death. 


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What could possibly go wrong?


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At times married life can be dull, then suddenly you're having an exciting debate over the best breakfast place based solely on hash browns.


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Tired of those yet?

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In China, cigarette companies are allowed to sponsor schools, with slogans like “Genius comes from hard work. Tobacco helps you become talented.” 


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You are 23% safer walking the streets of the US today than 10 years ago.

That reminds me of an article in our newspaper yesterday. The headline said that there were 16 "mass shootings" in my state this year. Then it was explained that one of them was that crazy kid that killed the nine black people in the church; a crazy father who took out his family; and the other 14 were gunfights in black bars. Go figure.

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How new Jeeps were shipped during WW2.


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I attempt not to allow my lucid moments to dissolve.


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I will probably die as I lived; wondering if I am dying.


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What do you call it when two men intertwine their penises like the snakes on a medic-alert bracelet?


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Excuse me, Missy, you ain’t got no pants on.

 I can’t help but think of the instructions.

“Okay, so get naked from the waist down except for your socks, then straddle the hose as you pump gas, but hurry up cause what you are doing is illegal.”

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Unique habitates...
"Trapped in Tokyo", Damjan Cvetkov-Dimitrov

 And this...
Knock loud, I’m home.

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Books can transport you to a magical world … while you poop.



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I remember how disappointed I was when I found out that a Tiger Shark wasn't…well, you know.


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 Why investing in armament companies is always a good idea.

Think Israel. 

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Confronting my mortality always reminds me how I need to get around to trying the McRib.


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Loyal viewer suggested I use this as a OOMVOs.
I gladly accept all the help I can get. 
He found the painting in a thrift shop.

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50% of my wife’s conversations with me include the sentence “I told you to go to the bathroom before we left the house.”


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And what did we...you and me...get for the money? Absolutely nothing.

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