About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, December 14, 2015

MONDAY #2552

One Of My Very Own…





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A single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime.


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Old brewery in Memphis Tennessee going to be torn down.

I can see many ways to reuse that building. I guess that it would cost too much to restore it.

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AUTOS

An Outback pulling an Outback, stopped to eat at Outback, parked outback.


Mad Max car...

Blindspots? Who gives a shit!

I like it.

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The perfect photo for headline...

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I casually refer to a spatula as a "spatch" so as to fit in with cool, young millennials.


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I'll just let this stand...

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Rich people problems...

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Movie theater employees have only two ages: 17 and 104.


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ARTY STUFF


Do you think they are real or just some photoshop crap?

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It would just be a shame if the caption didn't include a pun, wooden tit?

Read this interesting fact: The average erect female nipple is the height of five stacked quarters.

I sometimes draw a face upside down to amuse my bartenders.

Ran across this, and, of course, it reminded me of a story.
I was in Kentucky to paint a mural about their sheep festival. I asked where I could photo some sheep and nobody in city hall knew. I asked if they have no sheep, why do they have a sheep festival and the mayor said, "It was the only thing not taken." Meaning there was already a festival centered around everything else you could think of.
Anyway, I drew a couple of dozen sheep in various poses and each had a plaid patterns very similar to the image above.

Not sure if this is arty, but who cares...
The letter I is actually a match.


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Crossword Puzzle Clues:

A.   Out patient state - _ _ _ _
B.   Butler on a plantation - _ _ _ _ _
C.   Butter - _ _ _


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A.   COMA

B.   RHETT
C.   RAM


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My former wife's love was Chopin, but she also practiced this guy all the time.

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I realized I’ve got a road rage problem when my five-year-old daughter shouted “Pick a fucking lane, you dickhead!” while sitting in my grocery cart.


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TOUCHING PHOTOGRAPHY

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I once went down on a girl who owned a dog and her vagina smelled like peanut butter.


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Are you ready for this shit again?

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Does anybody know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?


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Reminder single guys: If a girl undresses in front of you, don't just keep saying "This is terrific" over and over again. Ok.


MONEY

As is my habit...more money...
I have a serious question. If I bundled up $20 in one dollar bills, wrapped it in brown paper, tied a string around it from side to side and end to end, then mailed it to myself; how many do you think will be stolen. I want to establish an over/under, which at this early date is right around 25% being stolen by mail handlers. What say you?

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The precise moment when you realized you are going to need a bigger motorboat.


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Someone just honked to get me to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.


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This guy always looks like he is having so much fun.

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MILITARY MATTERS


The first bunker buster was hurriedly fabricated out of an old cannon barrel in less that a month.
After filling the barrel with high explosives, it had be kept cool while it gelled. They did this low tech, by just wrapping a garden hose with running water around it.

First pics, then gifs, not this...

I know you've seen it, but you need to see it again.

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At this point, a phone book is just a list of people who recently died in their homes before canceling their landline.


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The old 'the floor is lava' play...
The ball never hit the ground.

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Mobile Devices...
I find that first one rather sad.

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Everyone is evolving and here I am just accumulating foreign DNA and surviving in the vacuum of space and stuff...

The most amazing organism on the planet?

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 I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan.


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SCIENCE


The limits of our vision is not only wavelengths...
We also can't see things that are very fast or too slow.

Spherigears Transmission

It may look like that when it first starts off, but the faster it goes, the bigger the tire gets, until it is much thinner and almost twice the diameter.

They twitch because the salt that got sprinkled on them caused a chemical reaction, creating enough electricity to make them twitch. 

Well, that doesn't make it any less terrifying.

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Never trust a psychic wearing a band-aid. They should have seen that shit coming.


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1 comment:

Ms. Revente's Musings said...

I think you meant ChOPin not ChApin...........
Townada

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