About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, December 21, 2015

MONDAY #2559


One Of My Very Own…



 Not that there's anything wrong with that.

>

Dallas cops put Armaan Singh Sarai in jail for three days because someone mistook the solar panel on his phone-charging backpack for a bomb.
Police have charged Sarai with a terrorism-related offense (translation from Texas-ese: "Owning electronics while brown"), and though he is out of jail, he has to wear a locator cuff on his ankle.


One would think the authorities would have learned from that last "clock" fiasco.



>

My wife came in and said, “I just bought a head of lettuce. Should I throw it out now or wait two weeks like we usually do?


>
 The beauty of excellent design...

>
This is an old trick of bartenders. If you ask them to stow something for you, they always ask for your keys.

>
There is some hanky-panky going on with this Harry Potter map...

>


If you look at the Greek plays, they're really good. And there's just a handful of them. Well, how good would they be if there were 2,500 of them? But that's the future looking back at us. Anything you can think of, there's going to be millions of them. Just the sheer number of things will devalue them. I don't care whether it's art, literature, poetry or drama, whatever. The sheer volume of it will wash it out. I mean, if you had thousands of Greek plays to read, would they be that good? I don't think so.

 - Cormac McCarthy


>

>

>


THE POWER OF HUMOR

Generally, when people are laughing they are not trying to kill one another.


>
Well, I guess that trumps Willie, my one arm tattoo artist.

>

>
The logic escapes me.

>
 Come to find out, elephants hate bees because a sting to the inside of the trunk is very painful. Who knew?

 >
Guy has a lot of fun doing this kind of thing...

>
When writing science fiction, one should always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's a yeast infection medication.


>

>
Researchers say this particular 13,800 year old etching is special because most late-Paleolithic art is characterized by figurative animal depictions, or symbols that are believed to have had magical or religious significance. If the stone really does depict a true architectural rendering, then its creator was truly defying our understanding of the era’s artistic conventions.


>
This is what I think about when watching high class porn...all the people in the room giving her and him instructions.

>
A few real headlines:



The source of the tumult came from Upton's reply to a softball question about why a fifth of Americans couldn't find the U.S. on a world map. In her botched response, Upton randomly referenced South Africa and "the Iraq" and referred to "U.S. Americans." A clip of the moment was watched by over 63 million people on YouTube.


>
Said the comments:

"Muslims in America are defacing our paper currency and stamping this filth on it. If you receive money that has this vile message on it, please hand it back and ask for currency that has not been defaced."
This when the bill itself says "In god we trust."

>


Imagine how terrifying horses would be if they were carnivorous.

>
 And then I read this: "Spirituality occurs at the boiling point of religion, where dogma evaporates."

This is the human brain. All your religion, spirituality, soul, karma, etc are but the firing a just a small number of its neurons. We invented that whole concept that we are special. Please try to deal with that.
And your parents told you that we are all so very special because we were created in the image of god.
But think about the size. Or at least try to deal with it. 
Let's take this illustration. The smallest of blackness between the visiable stars contain thousands of galaxies.
I just hope I live long enough for us to find intelligent life so that all the religions could be put to rest.

>
I don't know what a Freudian Slip is and at this point I'm too afraid to ass.

 >

>


Have you ever paid a prostitute to puke on your dick?


>
Let's try that theory out... 
There are so many variables involved when shooting a handgun that I don't think this is any more important than any of the others.
I always learned that you imagine you index finger extended, like pointing. Now where ever you are right now, place you hand near your hip and point to something across the room without looking at your hand or moving it from you waist. Now look down and you probably are pointing right at it. Therefore if you can trick your mind to allow the gun barrel to be an extension of you finger, you should get close....close enough.

>

>

>
The tax system in the U.S. in one easy lesson...


>


It doesn’t matter to me if you are yellow, brown, black or normal.


>
A couple of stupid people for your bemusement...

>


I judge people by how they park.


>

“Behind The Curtain” by Martin Whatson in Miami
Nice.

>


Doctor: Are sexually active?

Me: Hell, doc, I’m not even physically active.

(that's true)

>
A sign of the times...

>

>
Can we take a moment to acknowledge the genius of Buster Keaton.

No stunt doubles.

>
Notice the look on the man's face...

>


I drink alcohol because without it I’m basically a 2 year old with its blankie in the dryer.


>
Exploding Cattail Seeds


>
Let's take a look at this again...

>


Just call me the little engine that could, but I need a beer first.


>

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Random post sent me to a blog entry over 3 years ago that also had some art work amazingly similar to the "behind the curtain" post from today:
http://folioolio.blogspot.com/2012/08/tuesday-82112.html
bw

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive