FOLIO OLIO: WEDNESDAY #2561

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

As I understand it, he read exactly what was on the card.

When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up.

This is my mantra, as you know, and I think it should be written in every public building in America...

The Washington Post reports that the U.S. Army is recommending retired general David H. Petraeus not face further punishment for screwing his biographer and leaking top-secret materials to her.

What a prick; but that's none of my business. What is my business is the humor part of it. Picture him on top of that beautiful woman, humping away and the closer he gets to popping a nut he starts screaming launch codes to ICBMs in silos in Montana and phone numbers to the secret bunkers under the White House.

Still think Redskins are the most offensive mascot name?

The state government toyed with telling the University of South Carolina that it could not separate the "Cock" out of "Gamecock." There was a very funny article about the subject that listed all the names of atheletes they would have to censor out of the record books...names like Willie, Johnson, etc, then they singled out the most offensive name: Reddick.

Somehow I ended up with a belt just like this that belonged to my grandfather. I wore it until it just wore out.

That's what I say every single time I most certainly should not wing it."

Some interesting facts about North Korea...

My wife finally got around to showing me her teenage memory box and the condom from when she lost her viginity.

I could have said this.

As a matter of fact, I used to write naked...

I don't do it anymore because I'm too lazy to get dressed again before I go out to get fried chicken.

Domestication of a Pyramid, Magdalena Jetelová

The first thing you have to get your head around is that sculpture alters the environment in which it exist. David, for instance, forces you to walk around it and crane your neck. With that in mind, you may appreciate some of the installations, like this. I'm not asking you to like it, just to understand that his mission was to alter that environment.

"Did you see the band?"

"Well, my phone did."

But they could have just stayed home, waited an hour or so and the EXACT documentation they would have had will be on Youtube.

That's the way I got the pictures of Mount Rushmore, since every single person takes the exact same photo.

I on the other hand, studied how the tourists were being manipulated to spend money every step of the way...like rats in a maze.

I wonder how they got the perspective right.

Maybe laying out a grid of white string that they could see, but the camera could not.

This is great.

Both beautiful and educational.

The 100 Stone Project

I couldn't find out anything about this. (which means it was on the first page of a Google search)

Seriously, people, we still scrape our faces with sharp instruments. Why? That's the way we've always done it.

You know, after take after take after take of the same scene, I bet a little levity clears the mind and helps everyone.

I like drones. I'm glad we don't have to put our pilots in harms way. I'm thrilled that they are so accurate. But I'm guilty for all my glee.

They used to shun snipers as being unmanly in that they killed from afar. They got over that pretty damn quick when their effectiveness was proven. But blowing up a whole building on the other side of the world while you sit at a monitor in Kentucky with a joystick in one hand and a Snickers in the other....well, you get my point.

I keep asking this question and nobody answers me: Who in their right mind drives that fast on icy roads?

A drunk people "Hold my beer and watch this" moment...

I'm thinking it hurt a lot less in the flesh of his arm than the knuckle of his hand.

Speaking of drunk people...

Studies show that as a person grows in wealth, they lose empathy for their fellow man. This is also directly tied in with inequality, because as someone climbs a curve exhibiting exponential growth, that person will have exponentially fewer peers.

His reaction to a magic trick...

There probably was an eighth dwarf who couldn't be defined by just one word so they cut his complicated ass outta the movie.

The perfect woods to get lost in, I guess...

I hope this loads properly. It's pretty effective...

Not only was meth use rampantly in Hitler's army, but the East and West German armies gave their troops meth after the war. Why? The troops demanded it. Submariners were notoriously zonked.

Through the portal...

People always tell me to act my age so I bought expensive cheese.

Olive harvest...

Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 1000's of strangers' mouths. But I guess that beats many other places it could have been shoved inside.

Devil Bridge...