About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

TUESDAY #2573

One Of My Very Own…





>
 Social statement?
 If so, what is it trying to tell me?

>
See anything wrong with this sign?
Well, the W and the M is switched. You might ask who would notice. Well, I WOULD NOTICE! Every goddamn time.

>
 Haven't done T-shirts in a while....


 That first one took me a second look.
This is sort of the same...
This should be placed on billboards all over the country...

Money, nakedness and paint...three of my favorite things...

>

I believe strongly that Woody Woodpecker is a lesbian.


>
True? Hell, I don't know. Look it up.

Speaking of  nuclear bombs...
Believe it or not, making a bomb that works is very difficult. That is why I'm not "too" worried about being attacked with one. The biggest bomb North Korea has would destroy Central Park,
It's the dirty bomb that worries me. It wouldn't make a dent in America, of course, and in later years will just be referred to as a nuisance, but, of course we will bomb the hell out of someplace just to make us feel better.

>
This next one blew my mind.

Hezbollah driver calmly waits for the just the right second to move his pickup truck to avoid guided missile
 I don't think that is his first rodeo.

>
All heroes are anti-heroes...

>

Parties: for those times you're just dying to clean up twice in twelve hours.


>
Want to guess what this is?
Life preservers left by Syrian refugees. 

>
 I'll just let this stand on its own two feet, as it were...
Well, I'm thinking that ain't her first rodeo either.

>
Try watching a different person every time around...

>

People who clap when the plane lands don't aim particularly high do they?


>
 It's a rough job, but somebody has to do it.

>
If all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo?


 >

>
The photography is strong with this one...

>

Just ate an order of cheese fries and smoke started coming out of my Fitbit.


>
Goddamn, I will put my wife's score against any of your wives, daughters, mothers and grandmas. She nailed that bitch. When I got down to 'Politics' and she had everyone so far, I knew I had a winner. 

>

>
I read an article about this. Why would you think this is true?
It has to do with wasting time selecting something as trivial as clothing. I took it one more step. All my socks, pants, and shirts are identical, so nobody knows if they are clean or dirty.

They ought to sell tickets to watch this shit...

>

 In hell the Mariachi band never leaves your table.


>

>
Boy, I hope this loads properly...
 The ending is killer.

>

>
We're going to need a bigger trailer...
 You know that thing must be very, very old.

>
 Anybody figure out how those tracks were made?

>

My wife said she was going to the gym. I asked her to bring me something from the vending machine.


>

>
A person with hyperdontia.

Which, more or less, makes you undatable. 

>
????

>
You know, Pop, my novel is full of symbolism. For example, the protagonist crashing a remote control plane into his genitals represents the time I did that.


>

We are all the heroes of our own stories, and one of the arts of perspective is to see yourself small on the stage of another’s story, to see the vast expanse of the world that is not about you.

 - Rebecca Solnit

>
That face....

>

Everyone’s chest is a living room wall with awkwardly placed photographs hiding fist-shaped holes.


>

>
I've done something very similar to this.
We were living in a mobile home which much needed storage. I built that be very high (like 5 ft.), then the end opened up for things like the vacuum, luggage, etc. To get up on the bed I built two large steps with a lid for shoes.
The single children's beds had the entire bottom below the mattress lift up for blanket, sweater and Xmas decorations...stuff you wouldn't need often.
Built a four-person booth in the kitchen and treated the seat like the step beside the bed.
I told my now wife about it and she made us one in the guest room.
I asked how you get up to the chair and she said, "Oh, silly, you bounce on the bed a few times."
I nodded, thinking that just might work.

>



No comments:

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive