About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

TUESDAY #2594


One Of My Very Own…



James Dickey not only wrote Deliverance, but was cast as the sheriff in the movie. Periodically he would go to the theater where it was showing and at the right time would stroll up and down the aisle reciting the sheriff's lines in perfect sync with the film.


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A very loyal viewer sent me this guy's new book....the yellow one.
She wanted to know if I knew if he was also a viewer. I do not. 
Local author Bud Simpson recently celebrated the release of his newest book, Bud Simpson’s Olio Folio, which was released on April 2. Incredibly, it is also the third book that he has released this year.

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Let's talk about losing money...

I took New England and gave Denver 3 1/2 points.
Then I took Arizona and 3 1/2 points over Carolina.
It was a bad weekend.

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Yesterday I drove to Greenville and picked up my wife. You can't image how it made me feel. We spend a lot of time just touching each other to make sure it's real and not just another dream.
When I first walked into her parents' home, her mother asked who I was, I hugged my wife and said, "I'm the man who loves your daughter more than I love myself." It made her smile, which is rare.



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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smart phone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.

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I am a bit of a Libertarian, but not so much as to play the "Am I being detained" card. Those cops have an awful job and I don't want to make it any harder than it is.
I've known several officers and all of them admit that day after day contact with the worst individuals in the city takes a toll.

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"Tell me 'bout the rabbits, George."


You can't unread a John Steinbeck.
He is my favorite.



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22lr Tracer 50 Round Drum Magazine Dump

Why, you ask? Why the fuck not? I would love to own one of those, and I didn't even know there was such a thing as 22 tracers. I'm going to talk to my nephew, Jim, about getting one of those for the family reunion this summer.

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If you don't know what a goatse is, DO NOT look it up on google image search.

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I'm always caught between a rock and someone I want to throw it at.

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But smiling because you had an awareness to realize that is a good thing. 

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Barbie goes fishing.
 Bream about that big is very good eating. You can trust this Southern boy on that.

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 Well put, sir. Well put.

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 Most interested in the truck carrying the supporting frame. What a wonderful solution to a very complex problem.

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F1 Taken For A Spin On Ski Slopes

 Why? Because he can, that's why.

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Kid buying his first condoms.

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People judge public housing, but it's cheap and your neighbors sell you drugs so I'm not sure I see the problem.

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Wait for it...

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Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.

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Well, well, what have we here?

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When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.

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I'll have some of what she had.

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Those zany Norwegians...

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world;
1. People who like math
A. People who hate math


3. People who really don't understand math

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 If only Sean Connery was a contestant on Jeopardy tonight.

He would have read it "Whore Ads." 

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There is a sci-fi genre of films from the 50s that are so hokey that they are entertaining.
 I like them.

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Everybody in America should see this at least once.
 Most especially children.

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Do you think you'd make a good sniper?
[ ] Yes •
[ ] No •


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One of the funniest cartoons I've ever seen had Eve discovering that the snake talking her into eating the fruit was just Adam with a hand puppet. I assumed it was because he wanted sex. 

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The moment the groom realizes he should have dated the cousin.


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Would love to see a prequel to Titanic where we see Jack completely unable to climb onto a floating pool toy and we all go, "ahh makes sense."

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The other day I asked one of my servers how she was and she said that the next day she was going to have to sign up for ANOTHER $17,000 for college.
This has to stop. 
Dear Fellow Americans, Young people with advanced degrees is GOOD for the country. Why make it so very hard? 

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It is known that most standardized test are skewed to northern whites. I've been asked, "How do you skew a math problem?" Well, I watched some very smart 5th graders take a test when they came to a question about a plane leaving La Guardia at a certain time and landed somewhere else at another time and they wanted to know how much time had elapsed.
Every student froze like a deer in headlights when they came to the word La Guardia. None of them had ever seen it before. Not only did most of them miss that question, but they took so much time on that one question, that they had way less time for the rest of the test.

Speaking of education...
I saw a documentary about just such things as the above, only they kept adding every increasing difficulty challenges to the wire. The interesting part was that once one squirrel figured them all out, the "spectator" squirrels were able to do so also.

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The Queen aging over time through banknotes.

 Do the British just print worthless money like we do?

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 Good design...yeah, it's that important.

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 If I win the Powerball, I'm going to make golf illegal.

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Look at this bridge.
 Why would that be necessary? You think it was done that way just for the aesthetics?
At first I thought it would be a good way to adjust drivers entering a country that drives on the opposite side of the road, but then one lane of the exit would have to go over the other.

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I think he may have done this before.

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 It's weird how all the UFOs started disappearing once our cameras got better.
(I read a report that stated during the Cold War, both the US and the USSR ENCOURAGED the UFO bullshit to cover up any experimental war devices seen in the sky. I believe it whole heartedly.)

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Gameboy ads weren't really family friendly back in the 90s...


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Molecules of the protein myosin dragging endorphins along actin filaments into the parietal cortex and suddenly there you are...happy again!!!   

I have heard many times people use examples like the above to prove divine design. I believe that that is just what those molecules do when they come together in the right conditions. But if you want to walk down that path, why did those quarks just "decide" to clump together to form atoms? 

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