About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2581


One Of My Very Own…




I have had real people at the bar read this to me off the internet.
One bartender even thought that the population of the US was 30 million.
I weep for the future.

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I think this man was a unique human being and the world needs all of them we can get.


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Man cooks with methane trapped under ice...
I remember reading that there are giant lakes of liquid methane at the bottom of the world's oceans. Liquid due to the immence pressure.
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After watching this movie...
 My wife said, "Walk like me," and laughed hysterically.

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What do all of these letters have in common?
H, W, TH, NDN, LSN, LBM, DH, AND CLRD.

(I'll give you some time.)

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 America’s first boob selfie

 Sarah Goodrich, the artist who painted “Beauty Revealed," was born in 1788.

Note that the above is the entire painting — not a selection from a larger one.


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MACHINES FASCINATE ME

Full auto AA-12 shotgun with firing mechanism exposed

 Using the gas from one shot to reload another.

How to unlock handcuffs...
 You never know when that might come in handy.

This machine plants rice.
 Know why they grow rice in water? Weed control.

There seems to be no problem a machine can't do.

Some guy figured out how to use a ship's weight against it.
The torpedo that explodes under the ship raises it out of the water but a few feet, which breaks it in half.

But some times machine go bad...
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I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruders will think I'm part of their crew. 


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F-16 climbs to 15,000 ft in a few seconds


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My favorite animals at the zoo are just the random birds walking around free like they belong. Go home pigeons and sparrows, this is fancy bird town.


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Patient lady...
 The scale of these suggest they were drawn flat then pasted on.

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Licking your armpits is like licking your elbow…impossible.


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What do all of these letters have in common?
H, W, TH, NDN, LSN, LBM, DH, AND CLRD.


They are all states with the vowels removed.

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 This is breathtaking...

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I once had a friend who could do this...

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You didn’t really try to lick your armpit, did you?


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Somebody try this and let me know if it works...

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Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.


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Orangutan ties up his own hammock


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My wife just bought brownies that were so good I got an erection and had to sit down and ponder my life choices.


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 Wait for it...

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I knew I needed some me time when I yelled at my dog to grow up.


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So, ah, what flavor is so worth salvaging? 

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This guy is a hoot.

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Get it?

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Stuff I like to look at.

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 Those zany Russians.

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I made up a story about that very thing one time.
I was explaining to my great-nephews how the hole in holy-molies were called tuits and we needed to get a round tuit.

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This is what 13,000 cubic feet per second of flood water looks like


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Raccoon tries to wash cotton candy.

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A visual representation as to the importance of foreplay


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I was the beast man at my sister's wedding, and there isn't a day goes by that I don't wish that that was a typo.


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What a good idea.

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Few people know that inventor of the car alarm Enrico Irritanti never owned an automobile. He did, however, passionately hate his neighbors.


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