About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

THURSDAY #2582


One Of My Very Own…






 Here's what I would do if I won the lottery...

But never, ever this...

This is at the foot of my father-in-law's hospital bed during the Alabama/Clemson game.
He graduated from Clemson with a degree in engineering shortly after the war....that would be WWII.

My wife has been out of town taking care of her poor mother while her father is in the hospital. I miss her more than you will ever know.
Then I read this...
 I think that may be true.

In case you are interested, David Bowie and Freddy Mercury singing "Under Pressure," a cappella.


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Although frowned upon, it's not illegal to call a toddler and asshole.


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In the last few days of the year leading up to midnight of December 31, two Dutch teams from the neighboring districts of Scheveningen and Duindorp battle each other on Scheveningen's beach for the title of 'the largest bonfire in the Netherlands.' The long tradition and a matter of pride keeps the emotions churning as enthusiastic participants stack wooden crates and pallets as high as they can.



Little Girl Has Been Feeding Crows Since She Was 4. 

 Now They Bring Her Gifts To Say Thank you.
 And she sorts them like a true collector.

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Sex on Tuesday is best because no matter what time you finish, somebody somewhere is serving cheap tacos.


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ART IN PUBLIC SPACES


"What good advice. Let's put something classy like some fat letters right below it!"

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I'm amazed how you have to be still and quiet on a golf course, but 19 year olds have to put up with this to make a free throw that may win or lose the game.

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 I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like.


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 How clever of the bears.

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Homeless man builds igloo in Chicago


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People used to ask me my favorite part about working for myself. I would always say, "No drug tests."


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 I'm not sure what I just witnessed.

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 [1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving]

PEOPLE: won't be me
[1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball]
PEOPLE: you never know


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 Women will deny it with their dying breath, but drunk woman sex is infinitely better than sober woman sex. Trust me.

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Could some thinking person explain the difference between these two services.

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I'm a married white male; my forefathers saw to it that I'm not allowed to be offended by anything.


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Whoever named the swordfish more or less nailed it, don't you think?


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 I don’t think the internet makes people stupid. I think it gives stupid people a platform to show the world just how stupid they really are.


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This was a much too long cartoons about giving every child in America a clock to take about because a lot of scientists reported having done so as a child.
 The exact some reverse causality happened when school districts decided to give every child a laptop because children with laptops did better in school. Of course it didn't work.

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Party like a Russian upon winning a war.

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If your boyfriend wears a gold necklace outside of his t-shirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint someday.


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Wow.
 I feel compelled to explain how I select images to share. I like to think you and I are sitting in a waiting room and I'm looking at a magazine, and if I come across a picture I would like to talk about, I would show it to you. Yep, that simple.
With that said, when that bird catches something, he doesn't grab it, he penetrates it.

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Karma
And doesn't that guy look just like an asshole who would do such a thing. It's in his eyes. I can spot an asshole from a mile away.

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Just purchased one of those wigs that lawyers in England wear to put on when I have an argument with the wife.
Doesn't help.


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PHOTOGRAPHY


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Using self as paint applicator...
I'm not all that impressed. I think she should have rolled on it.

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So annoying how every time I go to sleep, my wife starts whispering into my ear "Go towards the light."


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"We've traced the call. It's coming from INSIDE THE HORSE!"

 -Trojan 911 dispatcher

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 Speaking of stupid people...

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Such glee!

$75K shot!


So, what happened to the ball?
 I think it just rolled away hidden by the boy in yellow.

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This happened naturally when the tree fell.
That is BEGGING to have art made of it.

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You have no idea how many years I've spent trying to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt.


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1 comment:

JimR said...

Dating Question:

1 is illegal and will be protested vehemently until billboard taken down and company sued. The other is not.

If one or the other is offensive to someone, but not both; then that someone is the problem. If one is ok, then they both must be ok. This is called equality. Seems simple enough to me.

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