About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2588


One Of My Very Own…
You may have noticed that I had a lot of fun with that image.



NOTE: For whatever reason, yesterday's post went out without my final walk through and add ons. I did not like it, and I apologize.

> Leo being wounded...
 I really do hope this guy wins this time.

>
My wife has been away taking care of her parents. While cleaning 50 years of shit out of the house, she ran across this picture of herself when she was in college.

A little later she cleaned out her mother's closet and found the exact same dress she had worn in the photo.

Now look at her again. She looks like the angel that she is.
 And I mean that literally. There is a classic painting of an angel that looks just like my bride. Wish I could find it, but...it might have been the Virgin Mary.

>
What would you do if you found out that because of government ineptness your house was worth almost nothing?

>
It's always nice to have some nice news...
Colombia Police Officer Urrea was called to the scene after a newborn girl was discovered in the woods, crying in the undergrowth with part of her umbilical cord still attached. The girl was starving and at risk of hypothermia after being exposed, so Urrea swaddled her. And as luck would have it, she was a new mother herself, so she generously breastfed the baby from her own milk, saving her life.

>
Comments about adding baking soda to glue...

>
MARTIN KING STUFF


MLK is literally a G

That's the spirit, Tyrone! Spreading the 'Can't we all get along' message one passenger at a time.

>
POLITICS


 And I think Bernie agrees...








Does this look like a man who is too old to be president?
Well, of course, that one clip means nothing. I bring this up because my old friend, Kent, (the only man in the city I will openly admit is smarter than I am) is very concerned about the man's age. And if he (a retired editorial page editor that has personally interviewed hundreds of presidential candidates) is concerned, then I think I also should be concerned. After thinking about it for a while, I told him that for that reason his VP choice would be most important. I think he should select a woman who is as smart as he is. I just want somebody good at debullshitifying governance.
Any of you people know of such a woman? Let me know. Using the email address above is probably best...I promise not to mess with you.


>
I mean, DAMN.

>
What an awful war.
 Everyone knew...and I mean everyone and KNEW that Vietnam would surely fall when we left, but yet we fought on and on and on.
I will remind you of my favorite quote: I there were no profit in war, there would be no more war.

>
But look where the door handle is. What kind of car is that?

>
PHOTOGRAPHY

The value of abandoned buildings can't be overstated...

>
I may have to rethink my praise of very steep roofs in combating snow buildup.

Of course, snow behaves very strangely.

>
Some times I like to look at my old One Of My Very Own and feel proud of being funny one time.

>
 This man walks the walk.
 He may have made some mistakes in governing, but I don't think there is an evil bone in his body.

 >
Asked a chemist friend why things rust more in water if oxidation is just the combining of oxygen and iron.

 He reminded me that there was also oxygen in water and water released that oxygen very easily.

>
I've never felt the allure of motorcycles.
 To be honest, knowing there is nothing between me and the pavement or a tree at 60mph terrifies me.

 >
It's called craftsmanship and it's a good thing.


>
This is not that great of a photograph, but if I stumbled upon something like this, I would pull up a chair and look at it for the rest of the afternoon.

Just take a look at this one detail of the stones on the right. Notice how they are the perfect size and shape stones to fill the gaps in the larger stones.
Things like that make me sigh in satisfaction. And I mean that.

>
Where there is a will...

>
My wife hired a woman to knit her a sweater from her pluckings from her eyebrows.

>
Public art like nothing I've ever seen...
How wonderful.

>
Favorite C&W song: I’m drinkin’ doubles cause she’s actin’ single.

>

>   
There should be a website where you can sign up and swap your Halloween costume with another person.

>
 Any sailors out there know how this is done. I see the weights hanging down from the mast, but is that all it takes? And what happens when the weights are in the water?

>
 That's what I call one dedicated gambler.
As a personal note, I would never gamble with that man again.

 >
Want to guess what this is?
 Vlad The Inhaler.
I almost put that in the Fun With Language file, but it is just too good for a weekend post.

>
Dog Opens Dog Proof Container


 I've had dogs that smart.

>    
I found this scrawled on a gas station restroom mirror the other day: “HELP ME, MY PARENTS ARE VEGANS!”

>
What a wonderful shirt...
I don't know why I like that so much. I think it is the absurdity. I really, really like absurdity.

>
How does this even work?


>
My wife took classes from these guys on how to walk through the room in which I am napping.


>
 I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They're all in jail.

>
Oh, look, bubbles...

The ring of bubbles around a school of fish prevent them from swimming away as the whale comes up from the bottom to eat a mouth full.


>
Bike made for one, used by two.
I told a guy next to me at the bar about this clip and he was not all that impressed, using the rational that children don't analyze a problem for all the risks...they just make it work. I think he may be correct.

>

The azure gem weighs a whopping 1404.49 carats, surpassing the previous record holder of 1395 carats. This type of gem is called a “star sapphire” thanks to intersecting inclusions in its crystal structure, which cause a six-pointed star to appear when it’s polished and illuminated by light.


How is that possible? How could ALL the other gems be small, then after all these centuries one comes out HUGE?

>
Okay.

>
The human body is really quiet for everything it does.

>
Okay, I will admit it after all the years. I did it. I was young, didn't know what I was doing, but I fell on my face and said, I swear, "EARTH!", and, well, it just stuck.

>
 I seems every time anything funny or interesting happens the people I'm with ask if it's going in my blog.

>

>
 “When someone is mad at you, that’s THEIR problem” and other advice from my upcoming book, ‘Where Did All My Friends Go.’

>
Ants can form a chain to bring home a giant score.

And you thought dragging the stones to Stonehenge was impressive.

>
Girls, if a guy sends you an unsolicited dick pic, send them a picture of a bigger dick.

>
Good as new.

 I bet that guy had shitty insurance.
Seriously, why the fuck is the doctor doing that? You got your "Hold The Leg" guy, why isn't there a "Sling The Hammer" guy? I want some big black guy who lounges on a sofa watching porn all day, then a bell rings and he goes up to the operating room and hammers the holy shit out of whatever needs the holy shit knocked out of it. But I do not want my doctor to do that. It just ain't right.

>     
According to the most current magazine in my doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.

>
Stephen Hawking face and a mysterious numerical code took over a group of billboards in Times Square 

Nobody has told us what it means. 

>     
While watching a European soccer match, two players fell on the ball simultaneously. The ref stood them about two feet apart and dropped the ball at their feet just like a hockey ref does with the puck. I had no idea that was a rule.

>


2 comments:

Jay Hagen said...

I am fairly sure that doctor is hammering out a rod that was inserted into one of the bones in the lower leg.
My wife still has the titanium one in her leg courtesy of a pair of drunk drivers and when they described the scenario where it would be removed if she wanted it out the description sounded a lot like that looked.

David Spears said...

I read your blog everyday. love it.

The red arm shirt is C3PO's quote from the new star wars movie.

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive