About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, February 22, 2016

MONDAY #2621

One Of My Very Own…
That was lame and awful. Here’s another…
A dear old friend, Dick Monroe, would introduce himself that way every time. He was a hoot and I miss him.


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com






The internet hates this man more than it hates Donald Trump.

Kanye and Kim





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Now imagine him going to a family reunion with his president father and brother. Damn.

Ouchtown, population you, bro.


I knew it! I just knew it.

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Went to a Trump rally in New Hampshire this week. Hard to describe the vibe, but "what if the Nazis didn't care about fitness?" comes close.


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Did you hear about the assholes who took so many selfies with a beached baby dolphin that it died?



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You wouldn’t believe the weather here.

Right when I thought life couldn’t get any better…
His first visit to Big Diddy.




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I ran out of excuses for declining party invitations so I settled on “My uncle has sleep apnea.”

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What a great line.
That’s the way I feel about designing my packet of money to be mailed. I have really had to solve some problems.


….-<{o0O0o}>-….
ANIMALS IN PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES

Wood Pecker?

That is not a nipple.

Speaking of nipples...


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Tell the barista your name is Beetlejuice and then just....wait.


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Guy combined seven years of data from his runs...
Didn't tell us what the colors mean...years, maybe?

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I’ve never seen a plus-size male model.

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Question: Sled dogs are born knowing how to pull sleds. Retrievers are born loving to retrieve. Do humans inherit skills from a long ancestral line of, say, acrobats?

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I read that in combat there are basically two kinds of men; those who thought they simply could not be killed, and those who thought they were already dead and it was only a matter of time.

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Remember the device that cleaned snow from the top of delivery trucks?
That's why it is so necessary.

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Said to be real lava.
Probably not, but still a nice image.

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….-<{o0O0o}>-….
FUN WITH PORTABLE DEVICES

I'm thinking the little bastards are horny.


How to know if a guy is serious about his little racing game...

I saved the best until the last...
HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
GODDAMN THAT’S FUNNY!

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Golf Ball Hitting Steel at High Speed
Never did say how fast, but it must very, very fast.

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You know you are in Canada when…




….-<{o0O0o}>-….
DRAIN THINGS



….-<{o0O0o}>-….
PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO

Just some high school kid nailing a 67 yard field goal

Topping a really, really tall tree.





….-<{o0O0o}>-….
PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT SO GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO


I think she's been taking lessons, but they are the ones who are not good at what they do...mugging.

And quite honestly, I don't know if this guy is good or bad at what he does...
Did you notice how carefully he is trying to get off on the right?

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"So I see this guy wearing his poncho over his backpack and I yell, “What’s up Nostradamus!” when I meant to say Quasimodo."

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What sorcery is this?

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Where facts are few, experts are many.

 - Donald R. Gannon

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What kind of wizardry is this?

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It’s a proven fact that burglars commit less crime after they’ve been shot.

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I've shown something similar to this before.
I still find that extraordinary.

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What I consider a great costume...
If you don’t recognize who is supposed to be, you haven’t been paying attention.


Speaking of…
That time James Brown called up Michael Jackson from among the crowd.


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Just a reminder for all you guys who haven't been married yet.


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How do you become someone who puts stickers on fruit? I think I could do that job.


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The backseats of the Mercedes-Maybach S 600
One of those pillows costs as much as my truck.

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I told you about this before...
But I never knew it was REAL treasure. From the article:
When Forrest Fenn, a retired antiquities dealer, hid $2m worth of gold, jewels and artifacts in the Rockies and teased the location of the treasure with cryptic clues in his self-published memoir The Thrill of the Chase, he'd hoped to inspire readers "to get the kids off the couch and away from the game machine."
 No matter what the fate of that searcher, Fenn has vowed to keep the search going: "There have been too many people looking. It would not be fair to them if we shut the thing down."

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I couldn’t agree more.

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I have noticed this very thing about myself.

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I'm starting to think that this is the last season of America and the writers are just going nuts.

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Might want to show this to your kids...

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A poet looks at the
world as a man looks
at a woman.

-  Wallace Stevens


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Somebody found dinner...

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The Beautiful Floor Mosaics of Venice

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Two Arabs come to America. They make a bet on who would be the most "Americanized" in a year. After the year ends, one brother says, "I just dropped my kids off at baseball and we're having McDonald's later". The other brother looks at him an says, "Fuck off, towelhead!"

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I saw something similar on time.
It was a 3" slab of concrete in a basement, a section of which was pushed up 6" by large mushroom.

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Wouldn't you love to have a job where you invented stuff like this?


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Why do so many people romanticize the 1950s? Calm down, we still have milkshakes and racism.

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I'm assuming a Candid Camera type show...


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Statistically speaking, if you pick up a seashell and don’t put it up to your ear, you will probably hear the ocean.


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Don’t be dicks to one another.

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