About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

TUESDAY #2622

One Of My Very Own…
That was awful. I can not image the mood I was in when I allowed that to pass my humor threshold.

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 



There are a lot more of these.


A group of economists say Bernie’s numbers just don’t add up. No word on their agenda.


Poor bastard.

From a comment left on Folio Olio:
FYI: There is an excellent clarification of how the student loans work on last Thursday’s blog - #2617, by a person named Fardygardy.

I'm in Banking and I call BullShit on your #2617 by Fardygardy....you're not hearing all of the details......poor me I was born between 1978 and 1992



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Remember the 90s when you had to clean your mouse balls? I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore.

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My mustache frightens baby goats.

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Guys, when she complains about something you didn't do, tell her about the things you did do. That will make everything ok!

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Alberto Giacometti Portrait of Caroline

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Growing up, my mom was always like a beautiful bird. She would fly away and when she returned many hours later she would puke everywhere.
(that's not true)

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A real live Airbender…

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Interesting how the whole world hates people who do this, yet they still do it.

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Presidents Day was created by big corporations to get you to buy more presidents.


….-<{o0O0o}>-….
MORE ABOUT HANDHELD DEVICES

I know I should be getting used to it, but…
If you sit down with me, I still think it’s very rude to spend all of this shared time on your fucking phone.



But don’t they look happy.


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There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realize she's left.


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When the telemarketer on the phone starts crying about how much they hate their job.

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Never forget the firefighter who put out that fire in the house full of marijuana.
And yet there are those who want to make this illegal.

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I think it is called flirting…in any language.

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My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement.

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A rare glimpse of one of the worlds most elusive and spectacular snakes, the Dragon Snake.
They are EXTREMELY difficult to keep alive in captivity, and very sadly, the vast majority available in the pet trade are wild caught and die shortly after they are imported or purchased, if not on the way!

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Do the right thing. Not right away, best to wait til you get caught.

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Due to lack of interest tomorrow has been cancelled.
- Sanne Peper     

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Sex so good, you get out of bed to see which neighbor is having it.

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No, I got it wrong, too. It’s not Her on LSD, but what she would look like if YOU were on LSD.

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From an article I read:
There are a lot of downsides to building with cargo containers. For instance, the coatings used to make the containers durable for ocean transport also happen to contain a number of harmful chemicals, such as chromate, phosphorous, and lead-based paints. Moreover, wood floors that line the majority of shipping container buildings are infused with hazardous chemical pesticides like arsenic and chromium to keep pests away.
Another downside is that dimensionally, an individual container creates awkward living/working spaces. Taking into account added insulation, you have a long narrow box with less than eight foot ceiling. To make an adequate sized space, multiple boxes need to be combined, which again, requires energy.
In many areas, it is cheaper and less energy to build a similarly scaled structure using wood framing. Shipping container homes makes sense where resources are scarce, containers are in abundance, and where people are in need of immediate shelter such as, developing nations and disaster relief. While there are certainly striking and innovative examples of architecture using cargo containers, it is typically not the best method of design and construction.

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Banksy



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There is a novelty store in my city that sells large bags of such things. Years ago when I was scheduled to attend a party at someone’s house, I would buy a bag and place them around the house…and I mean ALL AROUND THE HOUSE.
As I recall I used dinosaurs, army men, spiders and jungle animals.
The hosts would tell me years later that they finally found one in some obscure place that seldom gets cleaned.

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Wife: Is breakfast almost ready?
Me: Yeah, I just have to drain the sausage.
Wife: Can't we at least wait till after breakfast for that?


….-<{o0O0o}>-….
HANDS


"She was more than just a girl who gave awesome hand jobs," said Destasio, who has known Belzer since before she started using both hands. "She was someone who was really eager to learn new things. And she wouldn't even get mad if you accidentally ruined her sweater. In fact, she actually thought that was kind of funny, and looking back on it, I guess it was."
(that's not true)

How to really punish a teenage boy.



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The size of a woman's bag is directly proportional to how crazy she is.

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Photography

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Oliver Hardy, Stan Laurel, Jimmy Durante & Buster Keaton (circa 1932)

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The two most horrific words on the internet are "Begin Slideshow."

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Shapes of things, Martin Hill




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ME: I'd like to order...the updog.
WAITER: How would u like that prepared?
ME: um medium well?
W: very good
Me: oh god what have I just done?

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Anybody out there know what these are?

Walruses?

Speaking of water and ice…

'Brinicle' ice finger of death filmed in Antarctic

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 I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.

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Most household injuries are caused by saying “whatever” during an argument.

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I think pharmacy employees don't smile near enough for someone who is in control of all the drugs.

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Most people are worried about being judged by people who aren’t even close to having their own shit together. So just stop.

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