About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

THURSDAY #2610

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 




I had a dental appointment Wednesday and I can state as a fact that I hate everything there is to hate about the experience.
I hate the lighting, the art, the interior design, the personnel, the tools, the smell, the screams wafting down the hallway, the constant thuds of pounding fists on armrests, and the eight year old magazines.
I have deduced after many years of seething loathing that a simple rinse could be (and probably has been) invented that would cure this plaque curse, but they don't want it on the market because those sadistic bastards make so much money off our suffering. And they even talked me into a cleaning every three months just because I forgot to floss for eight years. Damn.
IT'S TIME TO TAKE OUR MOUTHS BACK, AMERICA!!!
Seriously, I think massive civil disobedience is called for here. We are Americans, by god! And we don't have to take this anymore!
ARE YOU WITH ME?!?

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Read a whole article titled “100 Things We Didn’t Know in 2015 at this site:
Here is one of those things:
“It is possible for a woman to have orgasms in her left foot.”
Honestly, I didn’t believe it, but each fact came with a source and here is another fact that explains it:
“Researchers straightforwardly dub it "foot orgasm syndrome." The nerves of the foot, labia, clitoris, and vagina are all served by the same part of the spinal cord.”
Do I need to remind my viewers that I absolutely love women’s feet?

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Several days ago I posted an old building and wondered why the house was built like this.
Faithful viewer SW just happened to be talking to a French woman who explained it this way:

French houses are taxed by the area of the foundation and that it was very common for a house to get “larger” as it went up, floor by floor.




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Just once, I'd like to sleep as deeply as a cartoon sheriff whose keys are dangling seductively from his belt.

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Photo manipulation that makes for interest...
 

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Doctor: Ted, you're dying,
Patient: My name's not Ted.

Doctor (checking clipboard): Linda, you're pregnant.

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Said to be a man dying while in MRI...
Could explain why our lives flash before our eyes...every neuron fires, which, I assume mean every memory you have.

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Just one of the perks of the job.

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Morgan Freeman is in so many movies, I think he just wanders onto film sets and says,"I'm in this now."

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Ike and Tina Turner

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Studies show that people who start a sentence with "studies show..." have no clue what they're talking about.

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Yeah, most northern cities have one of these...

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Last night I watched a documentary on ferns because the remote was out of reach.

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I couldn't agree more. I think reading too much into every carving and cave painting is a problem. 

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Giant Abdominal Hernia!

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I love my wife. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.

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Well, damn.

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Clever boy.

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You never really forget how to misquote sayings. It's like buying a bicycle.

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Lunch to-go...

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Here's another look at the levitating plants...

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Have you ever dipped cheese into softer cheese?

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Damn, girls...

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I want to wear a red shirt and go to Target and lay off 8 people in the morning team huddle.

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Clever girl...

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I know this place will prepare my taxes competently--they have a guy dressed as the Statue of Liberty waving at passersby.

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Inside Pablo Escobar's hacienda

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So apparently RSVPing back to a wedding invitation ‘maybe next time’ is considered bad form.

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I finally found a photo of a story I told you months ago.
The tucks grew through the pig's snout. Sometimes it keep growing back through the snout and joins with the root of the tooth. These are highly prized as bracelets in other cultures.

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My wife amuses passersby with stuff like this all the time.

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Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?

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One of the first images I ever posted...

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This was the viewer count as of 11am the other morning before Russia fell off the map.

Then I looked at the topics people searched to find Folio Olio.


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Can we assume this is a paint ball gun?

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Most people plug their phone in to charge when it's at 80%, but let the low battery warning on their fire alarms beep for 6 months.

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How could this not impress you?

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There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.

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There is a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost the same.

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Mass migrations...

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How come "you're a peach" is a complement but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?

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She looks exhausted.
Somehow she reminds me of the old, ugly women who man the sex phone calls.

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Minimal effort, Noell Oszvald

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The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it's okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich.

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Venus Flytraps


The distribution of this plant is limited to a small area along the Atlantic coast of the Carolinas, and despite this it is so famous that most people are quite familiar with it:
Thomas Jefferson collected them (during his stay in Paris in 1786, he requested a shipment of the seeds of “the Sensitive Plant,” perhaps to wow Parisians). A few decades later, Napoleon Bonaparte’s wife, the green-thumbed Empress Josephine, grew flytraps in the gardens of the Château de Malmaison, her manor house.

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I like things like this.

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My wife puts a Post-It note reminder on every case of beer she buys me that just says DON'T CUT YOUR OWN HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD.

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