About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2623

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 




My EXACT reaction.


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Please tell me this is true.

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There are a whole bunch of people who tell me this was a very entertaining movie.


Not all heroes wear capes.
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I have run across this exact same image on a dozen sites. I don’t get it. Please, somebody explain.


I knew it! I just knew it.




Now for the important news…

I had a visitor today. We had a great time just hanging out.

Then we watched Barcelona beat Arsenal…Messi scoring both goals. Kiyan is a Barcelona fan also.

Then I took him to my favorite bar and explained proper bartender tipping to him. He seemed to appreciate it.



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I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine’s Day.

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The reign of Henry VIII saw the first law against Witchcraft created. The Witchcraft Act of 1541 was the first to define witchcraft as a felony, a crime punishable by death and the forfeiture of the convicted felon’s goods and chattels.
But don't his socks fit nice.

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What a wonderful observation.

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Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them.

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Yes, Leo met the pope. 
I know he feels bad, but if the highest award in your industry can and has been won by a child, I mean, how hard could it be?

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This NFL Player Is Getting a PhD in Math at MIT in His Spare Time

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Shit like this was common when I was growing up.
But, hey, the prices were cheap back then.

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Whenever someone tells me they get a "high" from running, all I'm thinking is, "You've obviously never been high before."

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How hot was it?

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My 3 moods:
1. I'm too tired for this shit
2. I'm too old for this shit

3. I'm too sober for this shit

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Some jerkoffs have been trolling the flat earth nonsense lately...
 This man doesn't think there is anything funny about ignorance.

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All pants are breakaway pants if you're angry enough.

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The others use it as a target...

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Pocket-size gadget can detect counterfeit Viagra

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"Do you like Tolstoy?"
"Of course. Who doesn't?"
"What's your favorite book?"
"The one where Woody is kidnapped & Buzz tries to save him".

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 But imagine how long it would take for the driver to walk each child to their seat to make sure they were complying

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London building codes require developers of new properties to retain or install a facade comparable to that of the historic building being replaced.

It is called "Façadism," and I abhor it.

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If you have ever wanted to know what a high maintenance girl looks like…
"Girl with a Pearl Headdress," attributed to the "Central European School" -1625-1635.

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Jack Black marshmallow eating contest on Korean TV.
I know it’s childish, but I still laughed.

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 If you get robot arms don't get the cheap ones. 
Just don't.

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The Radiooooo project aims to revolutionize the way you listen to music on the internet. It's a machine that allows you to travel through space and time. Click on any country in the world, choose a decade from the 1900s to today and let yourself get carried away by the most beautiful musical collection in the world.

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I read an article "100 Most Influential Jokes" and here are two:

Burns: Do you like to love?
Allen: No.
Burns: Like to kiss?
Allen: No.
Burns: What do you like?
Allen: Lamb chops.
Burns: Lamb chops. Could you eat two big lamb chops alone?
Allen: Alone? Oh, no, not alone. With potatoes I could.

 - George Burns and Gracie Allen.



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Mexican phrase of the day: Chicken finger. “My wife left and said she didn’t need me anymore because chicken finger herself.”

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Somewhere for a guy to rest his balls?

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If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.

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I would like to see what the sky would look like if all those planets were, in fact, in between us and the moon.

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What do you call children born in a whorehouse?

Brothel Sprouts.

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According to a recent poll of 3000 Americans conducted by Horizon Media, 81 percent of restaurant-going adults support tipping. The study comes on the heels of a debate about the potential drawbacks of American tipping culture. While several restaurateurs have banned tips in favor of raising employee wages or adding service fees, others are reluctant to abandon the tradition.

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The wisdom of this escapes me.
It sort of looks like a real life Suicide Bunny.


….-<{o0O0o}>-….
SELFIES
One-third of all people who met their demise in the midst of a selfie fell from heights — most commonly, a cliff or a building. In late August of 2015, for example, a 25 year-old man Chinese man ventured off-trail to snap a selfie at the top of Long Men waterfall in eastern China. Distracted by the camera, he took a misstep and plunged 100 feet down into a ravine, where he died instantly. When authorities recovered his body several days later, his selfie stick-mounted phone — still intact — contained a picture of him in the process of falling. The following month, a 17 year-old Russian student climbed a nine-story building near Moscow, and hung off the ledge to make it appear as if he were falling. He intended to capture the “ultimate” selfie for his Instagram page; instead, his hand slipped, and he fell to his death. Just weeks earlier, he’d posted a similar image of himself in a precarious position.


And then there’s shit like this. The same thing happened at Mount Rushmore. I ended up posting a picture off the internet since they were all identical.

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I called my Dad “Popeye” cause he would also chug something out of a can and beat up that guy mom was fucking.

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I found this mildly interesting.


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TRUE: There was a King Kong marathon on AMC sponsored by Gorilla Tape.

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….-<{o0O0o}>-….
PHOTOGRAPHY

Arts & Architecture, Matthieu Venot



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It’s called progress and it’s ugly.

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In humans, self-confidence is highly correlated with stupidity.

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Someone actually lives here.

He probably doesn’t have a girlfriend.

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I wish I could eat the smell of barbecue.

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Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as wondrous as life.

 - Russell Baker

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The cartoon character is named Nelson, from the Simpsons. The pattern is an eastern Mandala. It is an awfully long way to go for a pun, especially one that is permanent.

Anonymous said...

Morgan Freeman provides the "voice" at the Birmingham, Alabama airport...don't leave your luggage unattended...no smoking...etc.

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