About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, March 21, 2016

A rather fat MONDAY POST #2649

One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 








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A gay guy told me a gay joke. What do you call a drive by shooting by a gay guy? A fruit roll up.
(that was the first gay joke told to me by a gay man)
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Ran across this and liked the way they used the eyes.

I was once called to come down and look at where a man wanted a mural.

I told him that he needed to hire someone to clean it and prime it because I could guarantee him I would charge more than a regular painter. Then I asked him if he had any ideas. I had learned long ago to ask a client that first because most of the time they at least have a theme in mind already. Anyway, he said that he had contacted another artist who said he could paint it to look just like a real woman. I smiled and asked, “Has this artist ever painted a mural five stories off the ground before?” The guy said no, but the artist said it should be no problem.” I smiled bigger and said, “Hire that guy! I want to bring a lawn chair and just watch.”
The picture above was taken some 25 years later, so that’s all I want to say about that.


….-<{o0O0o}>-….
DOGS VS CATS



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FAMOUS PEOPLE BEHAVING ODDLY
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An Eastern Comma butterfly was seen in Wisconsin on February 20 - a full two weeks ahead of the earliest sighting ever previously recorded.  This species is one of the ones that overwinter there in hibernation, so the species is not surprising, but the timing is quite remarkable.
This is the image accompanying the article.


….-<{o0O0o}>-….
SHIT I FOUND ON MY COMPUTER

This was on a site I visit regularly.

Here’s the truth.

Sure the research is only 20%, but that’s not all they do. Why would somebody want to fuck with Komen?

This is just stupid. She can’t hear. She can make noise.


This guy agrees with me.


But this guy outdid them both.



This was a scenic highway location site I was going to tell you about.
So I go to the site and typed in my zip code and got this…

As a matter of fact, it didn’t even give South Carolina as an option.


Finger Kayne West’s Anus: The Interactive Video Game.



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I know it’s hard for you young people to understand this, but I could see this being oh so true.
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Giant pink condom put onto Sydney's Hyde Park obelisk to remind residents to have safe sex.
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My penis is technically above average. More than half of people don’t even have one.
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I think this is a repost, but I still smiled.
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Screw optimism. We need hope instead!
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New Modes of Mobility
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I'm anti-thesaurus, for lack of a better word.
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If there ever was a miracle…


….-<{o0O0o}>-….
MEN DOING DANGEROUS THINGS

I understand seeing a landslide, but standing there filming it?


Inspecting an offshore oil rig

So what could they possibly spot that would be fixable?

Men have been doing the most dangerous jobs for a long time.

And please don’t tell me about your cousin, Helen, who did that on a ship one time. We both know Helen is statictally insignificant.

Men do the most dangerous jobs; men get more money.
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How terribly sad.
And that is the very BEST that father can give his children.
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Baby Blue Heron aka a Modern Dinosaur
That is amazing.


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The only reason I post this is to illustrate that lightning will strike the highest point, even it it’s only a foot or so.
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Holy shit, how come I never thought of this when wearing a tie was mandatory?!?
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I told my wife that her nudes have been leaked and she said, “The pictures or the videos?” I’ve never taken videos of her.
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A public service…
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"Will robots ever take over the world?"
   Me: "Almost certainly."
"But when? Before I die?"

   ME: ”A bit before, yes."
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Just another reason I don’t fly.
That looks very much like the foot of a ballerina.
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The dramatic footage from CCTV in village Hrusheve Zakarpatia province, Ukraine shows a four-year-old boy preparing to run across a motorway unbeknownst to his parents. 
The moment the boy begins to run, bystander Ivan Pitukh spots him and dashes onto the busy road in an attempt to stop him. The man and the boy remarkably sustained no serious injuries.
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One longstanding hypothesis holds that hypnagogic jerks (also called hypnic jerks or sleep starts) are an evolutionary adaptation left over from a time when our prehuman ancestors lived in trees. The idea is that awakening with a start, just at the onset of sleep, helped protect these tree-dwellers from injury or death by helping them avoid falling from their perches when they nodded off.
Think about it...you doze off, wake with a start and the first thing you do is make sure you are balanced on your perch. Brilliant.
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A car with a car rack looked like a police car, so I slowed down, only to realize I had been tricked into obeying the law FOR NO REASON.
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WIFE: Well, if you know what's good for you...

ME: [Holds up hand] "Let me stop you right there"
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Choros, Michael Langan
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Several years ago the wife and I took weeks long roadtrips with no timetable. The first time we drove across the southern US to California, then came back a middle route; seldom on an interstate. The second was a northern route to Washington and back through a different middle route.
It was one of the best experiences of my life. It seemed as if the landscape changed every day with marvels like this every other day.
I strongly recommend it...if you love your wife and she loves you. 
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A poster just like this was on the wall of every barber shop when I was growing up.
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 Imagine falling in love with someone and then discovering that he has faith in humanity.
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Just don't flush those things. Just don't.
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When her head game is weak but she insists.
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Light therapy in London. - 1931
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I once wiped up a spilled beer with my host’s cat.
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