About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, March 11, 2016

FRIDAY #2638

One Of My Very Own…
Can’t joke about cancer, you say? I’ve had cancer and I think it’s fucking hilarious.

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 



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Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
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I'm hoping the nuclear strike button & the trap-door for hecklers button on Trump's desk are completely different colors.

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My new computer has arrived, now maybe I can keep my sanity.


This was said to be Guanabara Bay, where Olympic athletes will compete in Rio 2016. Rio governor said the water is clean.






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You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?

….-<{o0O0o}>-….
FOOD STUFFS


Can we assume that the colors are created by diet?

It's because of the liquid reacts with polymers in the packaging.

    It a great time to be alive. 


Only in America, by god!

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Some people think that jellyfish developed independent of all other life forms on Earth. I tend to agree.

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When I get depressed about my underperforming blog, I think about starving kids in Africa & how lucky they are to never experience my pain.

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A couple of presidential items.


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When I see couples madly in love, I just assume they met yesterday.

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Model airplane with a wingspan of 16.24 feet.
Impressive, but for that much effort he could have built a real airplane. One he could pilot to other farms far afield.

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me: hello darkness my old friend.

darkness: I'm sorry, but I forgot your name.

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More handheld device lunacy.

And later…

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It’s a known fact among teachers that 1% of the children demand 90% of your time.
One such kid’s mother told us that she had to lock her bedroom door at night for fear her 8 year old son would kill her. Why, you ask, would such a disturbed child be allowed among normal children? Well, federal law dictates that every child be placed in the most unrestricted environment for at least a six month evaluation period…in this case public school. Before he was finally locked up where he belonged, he had managed to terrorize hundreds of children.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Magnus Effect in action.

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Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

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Driving a KIA just tells people you have bad credit.

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Those people taught my wife how to walk through the room where I’m napping.

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This is Garrett Morgan.

He invented the 3-Phase Traffic Signal
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We've known for a while that some Neanderthals and early modern humans mated; most of us still carry a small percentage of Neanderthal DNA. Now they think it happened 100k years ago.

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I have a new file called Shit You Don’t See Every Day. This is the type of image you can expect on a weekend to come.
Remember me suggesting that there are images that beg for a story to be written about them? That is one such image.
I'll turn this over to the unparalleled knowledge base of the readers of this blog, some of whom undoubtedly have excellent plot outlines dancing around in their heads right now.
You write it and I will post it.

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Parenting done right.
Within a week the kid will be able to escape any room in the house, including the balcony and the medicine cabinet.

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I’ve had several conversations with poor people, mostly young. These days they don’t seem to know how to act poor.

I ask what they cook at home and most of them eat out...every meal.
I ask how much a month they spend on alcohol and they have no idea – all the while ordering another $5 shot.
One of the smarter ones told me that they (the whole generation) is tired of pursuing the almighty dollar and believe in living for the day. Further, they think that America is on the decline, so no matter how hard they work, it will all be for naught soon enough.

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The snake cane man has been at it again.
He calls it hyperrealism.

I call it fucking awesome.

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I can't tell if the sounds from my vegan neighbors' house are them having sex or finally eating a plate of ribs.

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If I’m not mistaken, that will surpass Arecibo in Porto Rico.

The world’s longest bridge is in China’s Jiangsu province, and is a staggering 164 km in length.
Between 2011 and 2013, China used more cement (nearly 50% more) than the United States used in the entire 20th century.


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The job with the most people doing it is, by far, driving: truckers, delivery, buses, etc. All those tens of millions of people will be unemployed.

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After researching this topic, I am now convinced that the wisdom teeth industry is probably a scam.

Most of the surgery is merely a precaution against problems that "might" occur some time in the future.
There are, of course, justifiable reasons for having them removed, but the research suggest that you should always get a second opinion, just in case your dentist needs a new set of golf clubs and has decided to let you pay for them.

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What a wonderful day it was when these became commercially available.
Since kindergarten my students were taught just to hold the crayons up to their own skin until they find a match. It worked beautifully.

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The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor.


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My doctor said I could get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning.

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Sir Anthony Hopkins was a musician before he was a renowned actor and composed "And the Waltz Goes On" but never thought it was good enough to be heard.

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This is a great story, so pay attention.
Guy is sailing in the South Pacific when he comes upon this.

They soon discovered that they could sail right through it.

Then the source came into view.

The floating pumice and ash were from a volcano that had just created a new island and he was the first human to lay eyes on it.

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The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The young creature traipsed through the soft wetness, enjoying the feeling between the toes. Not a second look was afforded the outcrop of sharpness in the middle of the clearing, having learned long ago that it would do no harm if left alone.

psm

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