About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

THURSDAY #2659


One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 












Something hit Jupiter on March 17…

A LOOP IN THE SYSTEM

A friend of mine said that he ordered three bottles of wine online and when they delivered it, the driver did not ask for ID. I bet you can do the same thing with hard liquor.

Scrolling music that you really need to be stoned to enjoy...




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Before the maid arrives my wife likes to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other days of the year.

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scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way
me: every way?

[my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit.

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 Jim Crow Museum, - Ferris State University, Big Rapids Michigan. Dr. David Pilgrim's goal in founding the museum has been to open people's eyes, hearts and minds to the reality of Jim Crow. It took eight years and more than one million dollars to create a permanent home for his collection, a memorial of hate aimed at teaching tolerance.


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In the South, they were still doing this in the 70s.
 A few times we would follow the truck and steal orange juice and chocolate milk because we were drunk.

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 Ernst Hess, Adolf Hitler's company commander in WWI, who was,  despite his Jewish roots, spared from the genocide unleashed by the Nazis at the personal request of Adolf Hitler.


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 Robert Todd Lincoln Beckwith, President Lincoln's great grandson.

And last descendant, married three times and lived to be 84 years of age. As was the case with Lincoln's two other great grandchildren, he did not have any children thus ending the Lincoln line of descendants.

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A very rich man once hired me to paint the attic access door directly above his poker table.

 I painted it to look exactly like the door of a safe.


We first painted it yellow, then spray painted it black. With steel wool were buffed off some of the black to make it look antique as hell. We faked the dial and the handle with random hardware, but the best was a metal manufacturer's plate off an old furnace.

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The Bismarck - The biggest battle ship ever built.
 Sunk in her first battle by an extraordinarily lucky shot by the British.

Speaking of boats...

 I don't know where that is, but dayum!

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I have a great deal of respects for bartenders...good bartenders.
Some of my favorites are going to have to work Saturday night...after all the drunks have been getting blown away at St. Patrick's Day. Poor bastards.

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Petrified Forest National Park-Arizona
 This is really worth the visit.

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Oh, my...

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The economy is so bad, I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

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 I read an article about how to get a song out of your head. You should remember, or look up, the very ending and sing that aloud. The mind translates that into it being over. Problem solved.

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 Anyone want to help me figure out how they did this...

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3:44am is the most common time to wake up during the night.

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Larger groups make poorer and more emotional decisions than small groups or individuals.

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Speaking of guns... 


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The less taste water has, the better it tastes.

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Laurie Penny's latest, sacrilegious short story on Tor.com, "Your Orisons May Be Recorded," is a hilarious thought experiment about the working conditions for the angels who answer customer service prayers from dissatisfied humans

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 If you peel it up from the bottom like 99% of people do, it curls and this happens...
 To keep that from happening, peel it from the side.

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The truth does not change according to your ability to stomach it.

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Rio de Janeiro Cathedral
 That is a hell of a building. Do know how hard that would be to sell to a bunch of traditionalists?

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 And all these years later they were proven right.
Oh, there are wars worth fighting. Case in point...


 But all the lives we lost in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Iraq and Afghanistan were completely, totally wasted.

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How nice...
 I wonder if the order of the numbers is of any significance.

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Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight out of the carton how she is doing.

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 Sometimes people over-analyze problems.

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The Empire State Building is one Empire State Building tall.

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Slime mold solving a maze to get food.

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Want to know if a person behaving strangely is having a stroke?
 Ask the person to stick out his or her tongue: if it doesn’t come out straight, but points off to the side in an odd way, call 911, they are having a stroke.

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When my teachers used to erase the board, but left a few marks I would go a little insane inside.

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A REPOST OF INTERESTING IMAGES



How to use a condom class...





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Home is where you say anything you want because no one is listening to you.

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Well put, lad. Well put.



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

it's Sail Amsterdam

Aaron said...

The Yamato is the biggest battleship ever built. 40% heavier than the Bismarck.

MacGyver said...

The tongue test for stroke/CVI can be very telling; another is having the subject "smile really big" or "show me your teeth" and observing a facial droop or difficulty, particularly if it's localized to one side of the face. Another test is having the person raise and hold both arms - an arm drifting down is a sign. Slurred speech or difficulty speaking a familiar phrase is another, assuming no intoxication. Disparate left-hand/right-hand grip strengths was a favored sign, but that's falling out of favor because there can be too many variables/causes of the disparity.

If signs are present it IS an emergency, unequivocally. Get an ambulance, get to a hospital RFN!

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