About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, April 15, 2016

FRIDAY #2674B

One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 


NOTE: This is a major font size test. If any of it comes out small, then I have to start all over again. Pray for me.














Their budget: $2.6 billion in one year.

You might want to read up on this.
As I understand it, the giant sail will be pushed along by photons.

The photons will come from an array like this on earth.


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The other day I posted something about "It doesn't matter if it's duct tape or zip ties, fixed is fixed."
When I moved into my house there was a 4' high chainlink fence between my neighbor and I that I found unacceptable. So I mounted treated 4x8 sheets of lattice to that fence.

And it is all held in place with zip ties...and now the ivy.


And it has lasted 22 years.

You're welcome.




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I'm not sure what this is trying to tell me.
But I my opinion, the graffiti one should be the word LIGHT in big fat letters.

This one is rather clever.



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When we first got married we lived paycheck to paycheck and with perseverance we now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

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It was stated that this was a British trench in WWI.
But I watched a documentary about that war that stated that the number one problem was trench foot until the Americans arrived with the wherewithal to build floor and drainage in the trenches. Trench foot is the rotting away of ones tissue due to being wet constantly.


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Chain saw modified to assist entry...

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In my city there are pot pipe and bong stores that get away with it because they sell a little tobacco.


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Every time a woman shaves her legs and doesn’t get laid, a unicorn dies.

Or so I’m told.

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Want to guess what this is?
It's a spinning quarter.

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Boy, does this ever remind me of a guy I knew in graduate school.
We were given studios and were informed that although we had 24 hour access, we were forbidden to sleep there.
Well, my friend built a platform very much like that, but his had ropes attached to all four corners which ran through pulleys on the ceiling. He would lower it to sleep, then raise it up to avoid detection. Didn't work, though. He got caught anyway and had to remove his creation.

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I don't know if the numbers are correct, but from what I have heard, I wouldn't doubt it one bit.

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You people with children, show them this.


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I've always taken showers. Today I took a bath. I had no idea that a dick floats.

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I can't believe this shit is still an issue.

How could anyone totally ignore the advice of the doctor that they paid to give them advice?


I think it boils down to people - all people - having a powerful desire to know things nobody else knows. 

Here's another example...


So why do they STILL continue to insist that vaccinations cause autism even with overwhelming evidence? Because to change their minds would make them look foolish.
I think that one of the reasons people cling to the ribwoman, magic tree, talking snake myth. They think it would make them look stupid to change their minds.


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These “SignAloud” gloves translate American Sign Language into speech and text.
Solving problems is like what humans do.


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I used to party hardy; now I party hardly.

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Next time you knock out a drunk guy, remember to put them on their side so they don't choke on their vomit.


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Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer women with eyebrows made of actual hair.

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The word on the street...
I have no idea what those two things mean.

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We have seen so many of these.
Why wouldn't they just put fold out legs on the seat like the one I had. That way you could at least go behind a bush.

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What a master piece.

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE



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This guy, y'all...I mean, damn.
 When Matthias Buchinger was born in 1674, he arrived without arms or legs. As an adult, he was under 2.5 feet tall. He lived to the age of 65, outliving three wives (his fourth wife outlived him, and he was rumored to have as many as 70 mistresses), and he sired 14 children. Most remarkably, Buchinger was an accomplished artist, magician, sharpshooter, and calligrapher. Buchinger's specialty was micrography: the art of writing tiny letters. He was famous throughout Europe. Buchinger's fame was so widespread that in the 1780s the term ‘Buckinger's boot’ existed in England as a euphemism for the vagina (because the only ‘limb’ he had was his penis).


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Watch this a few times while you come up with an answer to this question. How does one guy make a triple play all by himself? And it's been done more than once.
There's a man on first and second. The second baseman catches a line drive, steps on second immediately to pick off the second base runner, then runs down the runner between first and second. 

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This case in the news...again...

 Apparently UC Davis has been trying to scrub references of this incident from any online searches in relation to the university. I figured I could help the effort to remember these types of behavior by the UC Davis police officer and by the administration of the school, and to try to keep people from erasing history by posting this.

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This is sort of like the advice I give young people...

I never use the word "dream" since it is done to death, but my meaning is clear: Unhappy? Quit your dead end job in this dead end town and go see the world while you are young enough to enjoy and learn from it. Don't have enough money? Figure it the fuck out.


But in all seriousness, if you have a silly ass name...CHANGE IT!
Nobody wants to deal with that mouthful of stupidity on a daily basis. I'm sorry, but her name alone is an impediment to employment.

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What a beautiful set-up...
I like it that the tent floor is off the ground, plus its overhang creates an awning over the side of the truck. I also like that the brace for said tent is the ladder. Brilliant.


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Women! How could.....never mind.

Here's a young woman asserting herself...


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How long does an owl live?

Six and a half books.


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My wife always begins a conversation with "You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"

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Wha...whaaaat? Some people find inspiration in that gibberish?
But, I guess, it could be worse...



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Regarding this picture with 5 functions that you've posted some time ago
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BQPviZDA3-8/Vw-iIlkR4MI/AAAAAAADSJ8/RiNinhnLS0sv9YNUjCxOmUCgGyVQm7PWACLcB/s640/Screen%2BShot%2B2016-04-14%2Bat%2B7.58.00%2BAM.png

If you plot those functions you will see an anarchy sign:
http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=plot+2%2B(-(x-2)%5E2+%2B+1)%5E1%2F2;+2-(-(x-2)%5E2+%2B+1)%5E1%2F2;+3x-3;+-3x%2B9;+0.2x%2B1.7

Borys

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