About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

TUESDAY #2684

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



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My penis once whispered to me that my parents were cousins, and that's the rationale I use to explain my stupidity.
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Beanbag gun only bruised the hell out of the nitwit.

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My friend, Bacari, was in a fundraiser recently.



He's the blond and the son of one of the most talented artists I ever met.

The fundraiser gets more or less famous people to enter a drag queen contest and my wife is one of the judges. It's a hoot.

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Here's the way I feel about things like this...



If I entered this building I would take the whole banister and it would not be stealing. It would be preserving artifacts.

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This is one of the saddest photographs I have ever seen.



And let's be clear, if this were happening in a white country like Germany or Luxembourg, we would be poring resources in to render aid.



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You had a rough childhood?
When I was born, there was a short circuit in my incubator and it burned down the whole wing of the hospital. My father was convinced that I was switched during the evacuation.


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How true.


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One thing books from 100 years ago teach us is that if you leave a baby in the jungle, it'll be fine. Better than fine, actually.

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We've all met asshole teachers like this...



Speaking of teachers, here is some of the shit they have to put up with...



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Write a caption for this. I dare you.



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Just threw a donut inside Planet Fitness and started a riot.

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Yeah, that's the way my wife looks too.

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People just trying to make us smile.



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[two atoms side-to-side on a DNA chain]
"Hi."
"Hi. You look familiar. Were you on A3564β before it went supernova?"
"Yes."
"You still owe me $20."


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Oh, hell yeah...



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Yes, I think we are this far along the road to equality...



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Ran across a few conceptual architecture and here are some of the ones I liked...





And here's my favorite...



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A time lapse of that fire from a while back...



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General relativity - conceptual illustration of time and space distortion near a mass.

We always see the effects of gravity as a dip in a plain. This one is much better.



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There are at least 14. I will present most of them farther down. Give it a go.

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Stop. Stop it right now.

I'm going to count to five.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

~ A parenting haiku.


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Oh, the irony...



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24 cockatoos parrots were found imprisoned in plastic bottles for illegal trade . They were compressed and inserted by force into the containers .





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Fuck that prick.

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I really, really like these paintings.





Nicholas Wilton

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You know how I feel about headlines...



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A guy in the bar showed me this and thought it was hilarious.



I do not.

But I did say that if you have a girl's name inked on your flesh, you should use cursive so it could be turned into something else. The next day I ran across this without even trying.



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"My eye is up here."
- Illuminati pyramid


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Serves the bastard right....



I mean that.

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Three guy drove through all 48 states faster than the current record of 94 hours and 42 minutes.



It was stated that there were two drivers and a navigator. I can only assume the second driver slept on his time off. An amazing feat.

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Public Art



Can you imagine getting permission for that in Mississippi?

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Watch this carefully...



Did you notice that her pants fell down?

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So I was browsing pornhub, when I came across this...



Came. Across. This.

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Sound rhymes...the last two are found and wound.



I found that much harder than one would think.

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What happens when you try to teach a rugby player how to play keeper.



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[spelling bee]

Your word is 'hor d'oeuvre'.

"Can you use it in a sentence?"

Yes…'I bet this bitch can't spell hor d'oeuvre'.


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