About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, May 23, 2016

MONDAY #2710

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com










Black Lives Matter Leader Charles Wade Arrested, Again This time for allegedly pimping a 17-year-old girl from a hotel room.




My wife freaked out when she got this in the mail.
Not only was it from the IRS...it was HAND STAMPED...which mean a live human being had to touch it.

Upon opening it, she freaked out some more when she found this...

I thought they were going to prosecute me for fucking with the government, then I read the enclosure...
How fucking cool is that?
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Okay, guess how many countries have jets operating over Syria? Go one, guess. How many? Five? Ten? Guess! Okay, ready for the answer? Here goes! Thirteen. Thirteen goddamned countries are operating in Syria's skies. They are: The US, Britain, Canada, France, Australia, Russia, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Qatar, Bahrain, Turkey and of course Syria. Technically none of these countries are at war with one another, but tensions are extremely high, near-clashes are frequent (Russian jets have been shot down by the Turks and have come close to dogfighting Israelis ... it's a dangerous mess).

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Got some laughs today. For whatever reason during the Barcelona/Sevilla championship game, when they showed a close-up of Messi I said, "My wife said my dick looks just like his." People laughed, then I added, "She goes to different websites than I do," which brought down the house.
I have no idea why I said that, but I am a lover of the absurd, so....
By the way, I bet on Barcelona. You're welcome.
On a side note: They issued three red cards in that one game, and it seemed like a dozen yellow cards. Amazing.
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By the way this 8 pm post is not working. I'm switching to midnight post time tomorrow to keep it nice and simple. Sorry about the bullshit, but I'm new here. Therefore there may be two posts waiting for you Tuesday.



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Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
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Earth's Schwarzschild radius: the volume Earth would have to be compressed in order to form a black hole.


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I once named my dog the same name as my neighbor's child. Just to piss him off.
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When your backup plan has a subtle flaw...


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Can you name a meal that no matter how many people are sharing it, they all start eating from the center?

A pizza.


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February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
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I can't see shit. Anybody?


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TV taught me that ruining soufflés would be a more frequent problem than it has proved to be.
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Street Art that is tolerable...


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In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
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Can we still use the word imbecile?


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Your skeleton isn't inside you. You are the brain, so you are inside your skeleton.
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Subtle, that...


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Painting by Leng Jun.


Check out this detail...


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Most people can understand how Jews must feel about Germans, but don't understand why some black people still hate white people.

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Time lapse of a beehive.


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The answer to the question "is the glass half full or half empty" is fairly simple and depends on whether the glass was just empty or filled.
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Have you tried turning it off and on and throwing your own feces at it?

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We all wish we could do that, don't we?


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Dubrovnik, Croatia

Another place I will never visit.

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The Junction Valley Railroad in Bridgeport, Michigan, United States, is a model railroad but not the tabletop variety we are familiar with.

Built at the scale of 1:4, this 600-ton behemoth is the world’s largest quarter-sized railroad. It has real diesel engines, albeit scaled-down in size, but strong enough to pull steel cars and real human passengers over a 5% gradient. Junction Valley Railroad is “too small to be considered a commercial railroad and too large to be thought of as a model railroad.”

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When a website asks me to disable my adblocking software.


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Any dog that licks his own ass doesn't give a fuck about what flavor dog food you buy.
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Drink responsibly? Shiiit, responsibility is why I drink.
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"A pair of eagles that were fighting over my house last night near Kachemak Bay. One of the eagles buried his talons into the other ones thigh and they fell into our pond. I had to cut an alder branch to unlock his grip. Both eagles flew away within 15 minutes."




And that one eagle used its wings to "swim" to the other bank.

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A repost that I find wonderful...


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"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand; "lollipop" with your right.
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How to get hand jobs from women you don't even know...


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Where will you be when the 'rooms kick in?


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Non-vegans shouldn't be allowed to have pets. I read that. On the internet.
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For Aaron.


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More people who know what they are doing.


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Cop drives motorcycle into a riot in Bogota, Colombia.


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There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
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Wow.


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What you find offensive, I find funny, that's why I'm happier than you.
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1 comment:

Chuck said...

It's impossible to find the error because there isn't an error to find.

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