About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

TUESDAY #2711

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 



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Pigeons die when they have sex. 
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 Of course there are many references to a great flood, which, in my opinion, is completely consistent with our knowledge of tsunamis and huge hurricanes. Not to mention medium size astroid strikes.
I mentioned this in passing some time ago, but I think I should expand. Every civilization has a taboo against incest. It was noted very early that fucking you sister produced less than desirable human beings. For this reason alone one can reject the notion that two of each animal could repopulate the earth, but more basic than that is the matter of diet for the carnivores once the ark had reached landfall.

These are titled Atheist Pig.


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At least the pigeon I fucked did.
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 I recently had a long talk with a young who had tried to kill himself three times. He feels much better about himself now, and attributes his transformation to lowering his expectations.

It is so very easy to die.
 It's like the whole world has a plan to kill you.
And it is your job to avoid it at all costs.
With that said, why would anyone want to prove his manhood doing something like this?
That guy had a seizure. 
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Battle of the Little Bighorn aftermath.
 That is what they called "mutilated" bodies.
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Where's the clean off the feet guy?
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Wife shops at Victoria's Rumor. 
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 Yeah, that would be me.
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Give it a second...
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This is your plants on drugs.
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This makes picking the lock much more difficult  as the pins of the lock mechanism aren't in a straight line, rather they are in an 'S' shape  - only a flexible key can navigate the corners and push up the pins. 
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Yes, that is a treadmill.
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I like the way the guy uses a really long match to set her hands on fire.
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I'm a 70 year old man and I still giggle when the ketchup bottle makes fart noises. 
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You aren't actually afraid of being left alone in your house or the forest. You are afraid that you aren't alone.
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Dog who was shot in head and dragged behind car makes new friend for life.
 One abused dog to another.
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I am 70 years old and I have no idea how girls make hats out of towels after they shower.
 Very strange image, that.
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 I told an avid reader of Folio Olio about this and he didn't remember seeing it, so...
 That's why you wear your seat belt in the back seat.
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Some interesting facts that I hope are true...


 Well, isn't she special.


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If you've had sex with less than 12 people, then having sex with you is a more exclusive club than walking on the moon.
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Shit's On Fire, Yo
 A very rich man told me that the only difference between a rich man and a poor man was that when the shit hit the fan, the rich man was better dressed.
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 FUN WITH HIGH EXPLOSIVES

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Remember when sex toys were rather straight forward? No pun intended.

Well, times they are a-changin'...
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
(only a fraction of you will understand that) 
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A new player has entered the game...
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Archer Artillery System 155mm auto loading cannon.
 So, what do you guys think about the wisdom of driving around with the barrel of the gun pointed right at your back?
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you really only 70? Holy shit.

JimReed said...

First, I don't think I like your new publication schedule....

Second, ..."I mentioned this in passing some time ago"...forget about the animals that left the ark. Just think about how the really tasty animals must have been! We're only left with the bad tasting ones. (Noah and family had to eat too...)

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