About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

SATURDAY #2708

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



When a trash panda dies on the sidewalk in Toronto...


The citizens build a monument.


I took special delight in the scene in the movie Michael when he danced to this wonderful song.
I have danced a million miles to that song and people tell me I was pretty good...even used some of John's moves when doing so.



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We all remember that day that we say, "Today I am going to get super healthy," then you eat a dozen donuts and then woke up and you're fifty fucking years old.
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You think your potholes are bad...Ukraine.

I read an article by a futurist and he said the first real visible sign that your government was dysfunctional was the fact that potholes went un-repaired.

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Imagine that you invented a device that can record my memories, my dreams, my ideas, and transmit them to your brain. That would be a game-changing technology, right? But in fact, we already possess this device, and it's called storytelling.
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Some pretty good ideas...




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Caption read: The U.S. Navy and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) are now testing a new unmanned drone warship.
The first Navy drone ship is a 132-foot ACTUV (Antisubmarine warfare Continuous Trail Unmanned Vessel) known as Sea Hunter, which cost around $120 million to build. The military says more can now be produced for $20 million or so each. But some are concerned that with no humans at the controls, these “robot ships” could be hacked, pwned remotely, and used by America's enemies to attack the United States.

Would somebody explain to me why it has a bridge with windshields if there are no humans on board?

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You know what else has a correlation to increase in autism? Political correctness. Just something to think about.
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"GULLIBLE" spelled wrong is "GNEDFLLIDAP."
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Would you survive a nearby nuke attack?

There is a website where you choose the bomb size (the Tsar is the biggest one ever), and where you want it dropped. Then see the devastation rings. By the way the bomb dropped in WWII would blow up the center of my city inside the beltway. The Tsar would blow up the center of my whole fucking state.
Here's the address:
http://www.carloslabs.com/projects/200712B/GroundZero.html

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I wouldn't even know where to buy blanks.

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Trigger warning ⚠

Or...



Actually, I would have more like $1.77.

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Life's a Mandingo Party.

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We have no physical evidence which day of the week today is, we just take everyone's word for it that they have kept count since the first one ever.>



Speaking of funny photos concerning dead people...


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It said these are chimneys' ducts of each floor from the side of this old building.


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Ordered a cake and the lady said, "What would you like it to say?"
I said, "Holy shit! You have talking cakes now?!

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What a wonderful image...


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Remember that feeling when during a math exam the Asian kid next to you says "fuck" under his breath? >

Indeed.


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These guys were paid good money to cover up graffiti words. Now they are painting in the mortar joins so the scars of the defacing will disappear.

I have done the exact some thing, only backwards. I painted the wall mortar colored, then stamped on the bricks.

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"Meat. Service."


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Some days my wife amazes me. Other days she puts the laundry in the oven.>

Careful with the hands there, father."


Well, not fucking little boys would be a start.

Most people don't seem to care that gods who overcame death are a dime a dozen.


My sister once belonged to a church whose members spoke in tongues.

Clearest case of mass hysteria I've ever heard.

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But we lock up kids for marijuana possession.

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Cities moving to ban Uber apparently need the DWI money.
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Oh, look who's back...


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If you are over 30 years old, then you were alive before every dog on Earth.
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What fun.

If you are not from Australia.

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What a helpful guy.

Astronomer uses pig eye to warn people not to look at the Sun through a telescope during upcoming Mercury transit event.

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They must have raised together, don't you think?


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My wife when she found out her two for one coupon had expired.

I don't even get embarrassed anymore.

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Yes, these are real coconuts...

You suppose he just woke up one day, looked at his wife and said, "I have an idea."

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Some times danger finds you...


Sometimes shit happens that is completely out of our control...


With knowledge of how extraordinarily easy it is to die, why voluntarily lower your odds of survival?




TAKE NOTICE: TOMORROW I BEGIN POSTING AT 8PM. THOUGHT THE ADJUSTMENT WOULD BE EASIER ON THE WEEKEND.

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