About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

THURSDAY #2713

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



I stumbled upon this and was agog that anything like this "Tunnel Bus" existed. So I started showing people and they all knew about it.

You guys need to help me. You run across something like this, let me know. But be forewarned, you you saw it on Facebook, that almost certainly means I've seen it. I will dub you my Science and Technology Guru if I use your stuff.
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I read an article about pizza toppings from around the world. One that is a big hit elsewhere is clams. Tonight my wife and I are eating at my bar and I'm going to take a can of clams and have them put on my pizza. I will advise.

The other was a breakfast pizza where instead of pizza sauce you use white sausage gravy. Then you sprinkle on the bits of sausage and top with raw eggs before putting in the oven.

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This is my old friend Larry Lebby.

We were in graduate school together and he is very, very good. At an art department outing to a lake, my first wife and I volunteered to take care of his baby daughter. We decided that day to have a child of our own.
Anyway, he has been hired to paint a portrait of the State Senator killed in that church a few months ago.


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My family keeps bringing up my felony like I'm afraid to commit another one.

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From a viewer:
"Hi Ralph was in Malaga, Spain yesterday and thought you might appreciate these murals. (Picasso once lived in Malaga)"




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If they somehow magically ever discover another part of the reproductive system, they should name it after Prince.
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Welcome to America...


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My wife talks into her phone like a combat soldier calling in air support.
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Bodies from Pompeii.

I think about such people more often than I probably should. These were real live human beings and now...they are plaster casts arrayed for our amusement. Imagine if someone did that to your grandmother...or your wife. Do the years negate our respect?

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These are called Magnums of Champagne...or at least that's what we called them in Germany.

I could buy them dirt cheap in the military and we took them to many an event. It never failed to to gain us respect when we offered to share it with all comers.

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It still depresses me that the Coliseum was partially destroyed for mere building material.


And I'm assuming this is done with lasers...


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Nobody likes old men when they start on the old "Back in my day" stories...

But back in my day I started to work at age 10, cutting grass. At 12 I also delivered newspapers and at 15 I bagged groceries. Throughout college I had at least two part time jobs and some times three. After I got my master's degree I had two jobs (teaching and painting murals) for thirty plus years. Did I like working? No. But I did like the things money would buy my family.

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DEPRESSING THINGS 
One depressing thing about our roadtrips were the thousands of places like this I saw first hand from one end of this country to the other.

And to think, that business paid the bills, put kids through college, etc. Now it is an eyesore.

This was created to be depressing...

50,000 dog tags representing all those troops killed in Vietnam...for nothing...except maybe to enrich the munitions suppliers.

Here's another depressing image...

Erosion always leaves me in a funk.

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Guy uses his hand as a pallet...

I've done that, but only with flesh tones.

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I keep thinking about my upcoming family reunion. In the old days I'm the uncle who would take all the kids on a boat ride to one of the islands on the lade.

There we would dig a hole and bury "treasure" (money they had bummed off all the attendees). Then the next year we would go dig it up.

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Engineering fascinates me.

As I understand it, that painted upturned section of the wing does two things. Somehow it increases fuel economy, plus it decreases the turbulence behind a landing plane.

If I'm wrong I'm sure one of you will tell me.

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If any of you people are good at tracing images on Google, please trace this.

I find that image intriguing.

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"I probably shouldn't have said that out loud"
   - a biography


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MEN BEHAVING BADLY






How many times must that have happened to that shopkeeper for him to be so prepared?


"Fuck you and your gay rights."

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When my kids were young and we drove by a dead deer on the side of the road, I would say, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."

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WOMEN BEHAVING ODDLY





That looks pretty damn real, y'all.

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Goddamn millennials with all their browser tabs. The only "tab" we used to "open" was at the bar, every day, because we had "alcoholism."

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How long must I wait?


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Wife: How long have we been married dear?
Me: How dare you try and sneak math into this.


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If you ask a veteran if they've killed anyone and they say they don't like to talk about it, that means no.
(I actually don't believe that.)


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Wait for it...

And that illustrates one of my problems perfectly. I am several days ahead on my blog posts for several reasons that I need not explain, but in so doing I run the risk that by the time a blog is posted, then something in it will have gone viral and you have all seen it. I can only assume this is just such a post.

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When at the family reunion and hear someone shuffling a deck of cards.

I can hardly wait. I want to see how much my grand-niece has learned about the game since last we met. She is one cool ass child.

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This tells me that they are eating very well...

But, of course, they tear up whole fields rooting round for food.

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Man kills a spider only to find that a huge parasite was living inside of it.

How could a just god allow such a thing?

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Wanna up the awkward while standing in line? Turn around while you wait. And smile.
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Because actually getting off your ass is too hard.



1 comment:

David Spears said...

The tunnel bus looks like a model.

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