About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, June 3, 2016

FRIDAY #2721

One Of My Very Own…


I once marched through Luxembourg City behind a military band playing this song.


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



My nephew has made these for a reunion gift.

That's his own honey, also.

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This thing seems to have much longer legs than I would have estimated.






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Then there's this prick.




Speaking to a television interviewer in London, Hawking called Trump “a demagogue who seems to appeal to the lowest common denominator,” a statement that many Trump supporters believed was intentionally designed to confuse them.

Moments after Hawking made the remark, Google reported a sharp increase in searches for the terms “demagogue,” “denominator,” and “Stephen Hawking.”
“For a so-called genius, this was an epic fail,” Trump’s campaign manager said. “If Professor Hawking wants to do some damage, maybe he should try talking in English next time.”
Later in the day, Hawking attempted to clarify his remark about the presumptive Republican Presidential nominee, telling a reporter, “Trump bad man. Real bad man.”
You've got to love that guy.

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The Viking ship named Dragon Harald Fairhair just crossed the atlantic.

I would be interested to know if they used the same technology, such as hemp rope, lack of refrigeration, etc.



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“The Jewish nose is bent. It looks like the number six…”

Published in 1938 and was intended for children. The book aimed to increase anti-Semitism by teaching youngsters negative myths about Jewish people.
And this is what we taught Americans...
In order to get people to do extraordinary things, first you must teach them to hate the people that need killing.

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Something bad is about to happen to this guy who stopped to give a beggar some money. Want to guess what happened?


A) He gets hit by a truck.
B) He gets mauled by a tiger.
C) A tree falls on him.
D) He loses all faith in humankind.

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SCULPTURE




I think that turning such a beautiful object into a pop culture icon was a mistake.

Notice where the patina is rubbed off.


Genghis Khan statue on the Mongolian steppes

I read that his advance was stopped by the weather...namely rain. Thousands of horsemen turn the soil into a mire, and someone posited that it lasted for months.

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Can't wait to see how guys figure out how to still get road rage at each other when cars are all self-driving. But my money is on that they will somehow find a way.
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This looks like something akin to what I would do...

...if I had boobs.


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We humans have a real need to "know" the secret of life. Think of all the stuff that we have made up just to make us stop looking.

I think it all boils down to who we trust, and that comes down to how much you research the source.

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First time in the Florida sun. Apparently it was also their first time using spray on sunscreen.

Canadians?

Then there's this guy...


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My wife took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving her a headache and making her feel sick and dizzy.
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CHILDREN


In public education it is called instilling High Self-Esteem in total spoiled losers.

This was titled "The Last Human."

What an intriguing story that could be.
I mean it. That could be a great plot to a movie.

Speaking of movies...and children...




Crocs? That kids won't get laid until they are forty.

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A COUPLE OF SCIENCE GAGS





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Bottom line: parenting interferes with one's ability to be lazy.
(I couldn't agree more.)

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THINGS ALMOST GOING TO SHIT






A professor conducted an experiment on his own students - and proved that if no one moves, the bull will not attack them. The animal is just looking for a way out of the arena.
Here's a longer version...

I have never trusted a professor enough to do that.
Never. Ever.

AND THINGS ACTUALLY GOING TO SHIT


I see two things: A) She had a problem before sitting down at that equipment, and B) She will soon be a very rich young woman.


Medusas?


D) He loses all faith in humankind.


But who is filming the incident? I'm thinking that was an educational clip to teach tourists what not to do.

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CARTOONS I CAN TOLERATE


Indeed.




This next one reminds me of my wife taking advice from the kid at the natural food store about the "natural" cure-alls.


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I don't know why Smokey the Bear carries a shovel, but it scares the shit out of me.
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Arrogant little bastard, ain't he?

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If you're ovulating and have sex standing up...Is it called a standing ovulation? Asking for a friend.
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ANIMALS


What the fuck is he smiling about?!? I would be terrified that it would suddenly find me attractive.
Yeah, form an image of that in your mind.

This is not what you think it is...



A picture of a man taking a picture of a man taking a picture of a dog looking at dogs looking at kittens in a basket in a basket in a basket.

This exactly how I feel about snow.


When I see anything like this, all I can think about is how much sex is going to happen soon...

Yeah, I've been to Woodstock.

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I'm guessing the person who decided how to spell "queue" and "okay" got paid by the letter.
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Some drugs are much better than others...


Oh, hell, I ain't done with this guy yet...

My money is on mushrooms.

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These bears have the zombie avoidance technique I've been advocating for years...


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Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. I chased it all the way to the floor duct and just decided to leave it there to melt as it wishes.
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Imagine, putting lawyers out of business. Maybe there is a god.

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My wife makes Saturn 5 liftoff noises while inserting her tampons...and makes me watch.
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Granted, it is written that Jesus gave some really good advice.

Except maybe for that slavery thing. But the point is, NOBODY obeys his teachings. Sure it makes you feel good to spew his words for others, but NOBODY lives by his example. When was the last time you kissed a prostitute on the lips? Okay, maybe that's a bad example, but I believe it is the evil of seeking riches that is the real weakest link in his philosophy. You show me a person that faithfully follows his teaching and I will show you a person who would be diagnosed with some serious mental disorder....or a bum...you decide.

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