About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, June 2, 2016


One Of My Very Own…



The next time a kid falls into the cage...




Good grief, did you see that, Hans? A time traveller just appeared, shot Adolf and left again. I mean I know his paintings are shit but WTF.
I wonder how many people with get this.

This is well thought out advice that we could all use.

These are but empty words.

When you think in terms of mere words here is the consequence...

He still has his own TV show. I researched it and it is true.

To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with “To tell you the truth” throws into question all else you’ve previous said.

I would have liked to have seen that.

Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you.

And this is his answer.

Note: I know I've posted some of this stuff before, but keep in mind I have a whole bunch of new viewers. Thanks for you tolerance.

Wife: Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching football. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down.

That is actually a very useful skill to know.

There was once an armored truck pulled over by a motorcycle cop that told the crew that they had a bomb under their vehicle. The cop crawled up under and soon there was bellowing smoke and the cop yelled for everyone to run for their lives. They did and he calmly got behind the wheel, drove off and was never seen again...nor the millions in unmarked bills.

German women lie dead on a street in Berlin in 1945 after they were brutally raped and murdered by the Russian soldiers.

And they look eerily similar to the dead Russian women strewn by Nazi soldiers.


Might I add genocide.

I read the book - Forrest was a big kid.

How did I get this old and not know this?

I watched a documentary on that very thing. And nobody saw a thing.

Only the news worthy printing here folks.

Turns out when you're asked who your favorite child is you're expected to pick from your own.


To repeat, they must have been very, very hungry.

The old "snake in a frog's mouth trick"...again, because it is just too cool to only watch once.

Can you imagine what is going through their tiny minds right now?

The old wing shrug 'sorry about that' gesture.

We live in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

I have an old dear friend who attended church her whole life. She recently confided in me that she does not believe the stupid shit in the bible like the Noah story and the Garden of Eden story, but holds fast that Jesus had some very good advice. I respect this woman very much.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Interesting tidbit: a pubic wig is called a merkin. There is a brewery that named one of their beers "Velvet Merkin" and initially were required to change the name for some arcane copyright reason having to do with it being named after an actual item. They temporarily renamed it "Velvet Merlin" which was ok. After much finagling they were eventually able to give the delightful brew back its original moniker. Since you have been in the bar owning business, you may appreciate that the tap handles for the original beer are considered collectors items and can fetch upwards of $200-300.

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