About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, June 4, 2016


One Of My Very Own…

Love Is My Religion by Ziggy Marley. Enjoy.


And just remember, his people were chosen by god.......GOD!



You decide if these questions are racist:

Question 2: "Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?"

Question 8 reads: "Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There are 20 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?"

NOTE: She was retiring this year. One final volley?

If I found out I won the World's Saddest Man award, I would probably become slightly happy and would be immediately stripped of my title.
I found a couple of new informative maps.

As I understand it, Gypsies are not a race or anything like that. It is just a collection of people who have adopted a similar lifestyle, namely thievery.



This jerk was caught on camera being a jerk.

Adulthood is like the part in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy tries to runaway from her problems, but then SURPRISE, there is also a tornado.

Chile women's national field hockey team.

Man, they look so....healthy. You're welcome.

You know that feeling when you're sunbathing in the elephant cage and one goes in for the open mouth kiss upon first meeting you?

"I see what you see there, Kash-sah."

"We all saw what you did there, Kash-sah."

"Might be trying just a tad too much, Brandi."

How to get immortalized by the Internet.

Holy shit, woman!

The problem with 1-ply toilet paper.

This wonderful lady in Thailand offered me a toothbrush and toilet paper for $3!

Yeah, but what about the rest of us who don't have a structured settlement but need cash now? >
The internet is full of one-sided bullshit.

You don't call a drone blowing up a wedding party a terror attack? What about the Jews bulldozing whole towns?

On a similar note...

What happens when you pour water over a grease fire.

Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop having twelve dollars.
Another tree deformed by prevailing wind.

All of my tattoos mean something. For example, the Yosemite Sam on my stomach means I can't drink tequila very well.

Geology Porn

I've been driving a long time, and never have I seen a sign like that.

Dr: Your wife is extremely critical.
Me: Don't overreact doctor, she's like that with me too.


I agree.


Asparagus hauling

As I understand it, asparagus will just keep growing back after each is reaped.

Removing rubber from an airport runway.

Marlin 1895SBL w/Vortex Sight

I didn't know I could have sexual thoughts about a gun.

Making a special kind of lego brick.



Recharging your arm in an airport.

Space Shuttle Main Engines Start-up.

What is that being squirted in from the right? Water?


That reminds me of the cartoon that had a calf nursing on a hilltop and caption said, "I'm not you Ma, boy, I'm your uncle, but don't let that stop you."

I wonder how often this thing has to eat.

Clever girl

Humpback whale's scars...

I would say boat propeller.

Shit you don't see cows do every day.

I present, Flea Soccer

My wife's signature move is asking me a question then turning on the faucet when I answer.


What sane parent would ask such a thing? Do I want my kids to only associate with people who agree with them? How is growth to occur without having to weigh different views of the world? And remember, having no opposing views is the only way whole countries end up believing the same bullshit. ALL of them believing their bullshit is true.
But mark my words, because of the international connectivity of the internet, in two generations wholesale religion will be a thing of the past. Thank god.


MacGyver said...

What looks like water droplets squirted below the Space Shuttle Main Engine nozzles (bells) are actually high-temperature sparks emitted from hydrogen burn-off igniters. These igniter systems are activated several seconds before main engine start, specifically to ignite and consume any undesired free hydrogen that may accumulate in and around the nozzles prior to engine ignition. If unmitigated prior to ignition, such free hydrogen accumulations could cause an overpressure, possibly damaging the engine(s) or destroying the spacecraft. Oops.

Interestingly, the launch sequence does use water, shit-tons of it, but in a different way. A few seconds before launch, automated controllers dump a few hundred thousand gallons all over the launch platform and into exhaust channels beneath the platform. The elevated water storage tanks and water pipes are just northeast of each launch pad. The water is explosively converted to steam by the engine and Solid Rocket Booster exhaust, thereby absorbing and dissipating the exhaust and high energy acoustic pressure waves that might otherwise be reflected upwards to impact the spacecraft. That steam is a large portion of the white "smoke" seen billowing from either side of the pad during launch.

The complexity and ingenuity of those rocket systems has always fascinated me no end. Thanks for the opportunity to pontificate, sir. Excellent blogging as always.

Spider Borland said...

I guess, I just recommend doing more research on the Romani (Gypsy).

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the girl and the baby elephant. Great lipage

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