About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

THURSDAY #2734

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com




A 2,000-year-old 20-pound chunk of butter has been unearthed from a peat bog in Ireland, which is said to still be edible. It was not unusual for people to bury butter in peat bogs in ancient and early medieval Ireland. With low temperature, low oxygen and a highly acidic environment, bogs have excellent preservative properties.

Oh, shit....

I think I'm in big trouble! Example will be noted with a ***.



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I once slapped a girl during sex because she moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave her a fake name. My bad. 

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It is very rare nowadays to find a restaurant that actually cooks your food...from scratch, I mean. My restaurant owner friends go out to the factory where a cook makes them meal after meal so they can choose which ones to order. Then the truck arrives with prepared meals and he just heats them up. I am not saying that the meals are bad, I'm just saying kitchen help is no longer cooks...they are heater-uppers.

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I have been to more of those than I care to count. During one the instructor asked my whole teaching staff to line up according to age and without talking. So as we milled around the room I kept whispering my year of birth and teacher after teacher told me to keep quiet because I was "breaking the rules." Like it was an income tax form or something. Indeed. That's what I do...Ralph the rule breaker. And further, one would think that a person who breaks a rule in order to solve a problem more efficiently would be lauded. It could be argued that following stupid, made-up rules is what is wrong with America's educational systems.

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Yeah, that would be me. I've thought much about the fear of the machine that some of us have, and I think it could be solved by giving the patient a little button that they could use to bring the out of the machine at any time. It's the feeling of powerlessness that gets most of us, and the little button would give us the confidence of control.

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Okay, who's playing Jumanji?


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Yeah, I have a fetish. It's called a loving, stable relationship, and it's working out pretty good for me.
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A 22 is an excellent survival weapon.

Chances are you won't need to kill a bear. You will want to kill a rabbit or squirrel.

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Emojis Are Now More Culturally Relevant As They Take On Maori Culture.

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Saying "Hello" in an echo situation. Me never. I would say something interesting like "George Armstrong Custer," or "Peach Cobbler." On days when I'm in a funk, maybe "Anal Warts."

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If you're tired of everyone thinking you're an asshole, stop being an asshole.
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Get it? If not look at my photo.
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Beggin' Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a Samsonite across a fucking airport; I'm sure they know it's NOT bacon.
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If you think that your phone may have been hacked so that someone can watch you through the cameras and listen through the mics, one way to solve the problem is to remove the cameras and microphones, and only use the phone with a headset that you unplug when it's not in use.

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Photographer Denis Cherim’s ‘Coincidence Project’ Explores Uncanny Moments of Synchronicity.





And a big tip of the blogging hat to the wonderful viewer who sent me those.

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One of my servers said, "Only 100 days until football season." I said, "Darling, I'm so old I don't even buy green bananas anymore."

Speaking of...


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No matter what, try to find a little merriment every single day. 

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Meanwhile, in an alternate universe...


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I'll let these speak for themselves...



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Why is it called after dark when in reality it is just still dark?

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I asked if anyone at the bar knew how Wake Forest got its name and no one knew. Everyone took their best guess (I thought it was named after the guy who provided the land) and then we looked it up. Now it's your turn...take a guess.

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Wake Forest was named after the town.

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My wife bought some new shoes for when I'm taking a nap.


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Has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe Houston has problems too?
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People only hate jury duty because they have to go to a courthouse. Let em stay home and they'll email who's guilty all day.

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I find it interesting that everybody knows that everybody is going at least five miles over the speed limit, especially on the interstate. Come to find out, that is true no matter what the speed limit is.

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Lost this artist's name, but I like his work...




Here's a close-up.


Reuse is a big deal to me and not just as an artist.


Guy used old pallets into a floor...

But please note, many years ago pallets were made out of scrap oak and such wood so they would last longer, but now there is very little hardwood used and it's mostly crap...one use items that isn't worth a shit for a floor.

And I think this is marvelous...


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Speaking of women...

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

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Americans.

Back when men were men.

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What about the exhaust leaking into the car, you nitwit?

Speaking of dogs... 
Sea dogs meet land dogs over land rights.


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Morning: Time to do just enough activity to convince my body that it needs to go back to sleep.

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How clever...

Oh, you have stuff like that in your town? Then send me pics!

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This would have fit well with the Synchronicity things above...


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This guy has added a new twist to this...


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Let's hope for the best...

It is so very easy to die, you know that. I don't knew whether anyone died in this or not, but that's the gawddamn motor stuck on the end of the railing!

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I've posted one of these done with cars many times because I love it. Here he/she used military vehicles and it is equally grand.

I've guessed before about how he managed to get the voids in that, but if any of you know for sure, I would love to hear from you.

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Here's a repost a ran across...


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Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.
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2 comments:

Ninja Grrrl said...

I have had quite a few closed tube MRI scans. They offer to sedate you first, and you do have a panic button. There's also a fan that blows air on you constantly, and they usually give you headphones and let you pick the music you like.

William Lockwood said...

If I hadn't paid what I did format my tattoo, I'd be a sad feller.

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