About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

SUNDAY #2750

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

By the time you read this, it will be the day France plays Iceland in soccer. Against all odds, I have all my money on Iceland. I know it's foolish, but I'm a foolish kind of guy. Wish me luck.

I did win money on Germany, although I was forced to witness the worse display of pathetic attempts at penalty kicks it has ever been my misfortune to endure.
And Whales overwhelmingly beating Belgium costs me a fortune.

They cut to this kid at the exact right moment so the whole world could lip read his vulgarity...



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My online banking account was hacked, but all they did was deposit $20 and left a message saying "Stay Strong."


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The handle on this guy's wood chipper.

My wife does stuff like that all over our yard.

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This book contains EVERY color imaginable.


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ART

In the Lombardy region of Italy, the artist Christo has unveiled his latest installation, “The Floating Piers,” a walkway stretching nearly two miles to connect two small islands to each other and to the mainland.



Street art of artist Hoxxoh



In graduate school I once brought in three rather similar paintings for critique, and my professor asked us all to imagine the time we masturbated and it felt so good we did it again immediately. The second one was good, but not as good as the first.
That's what I think about when I see artists doing the same thing over and over and over again.

The shift from easel art to murals is fraught with problems. One of them is how to accurately get your drawing onto the wall. Trust me, it is not so easy when the eye in your drawing ends up two feet wide. Many times (most of the time) you need help.
Here is my enlarger of choice...the old overhead projector.

You just print out your line drawing on clear sheets available in any office supply store.
And every school district is dumping them right now; forced out by technology.

That means they are cheap. See if your city has a government surplus property store.

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WAYS TO KILL PEOPLE


F-35 firing an AIM-120

That missile will blow an aircraft out of the sky from a range of 50 miles at 3000mph. You see, if that aircraft is going mack 2, then the missile STARTS OUT at that speed before the rocket motor even kicks in.

This is a 9k22 Tunguska air defense system.

That may be effective for close air support, but chances are it will be the first thing destroyed by high flying drones or low crawling tanks.

If that guy in the red jacket didn't shit himself then he is a bigger man than I...


USS Iowa, equipped with nine 16-inch guns that could fire NUCLEAR SHELLS—the only American ship class in history with this capability.


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Rule at my house: whoever has pants on answers the door. 

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Every single person in line in front of me is apparently engaging in their first retail transaction ever.

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When fat people spoon, do they call it ladling?

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Unbelievably stupid...

Who in their right mind could just stand there filming?

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Separate the goats from the cabbages with three straight lines.


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My favorite internet cat picture.


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I would really like to hire a person to speak at my funeral and say a bunch of crazy stuff about me so my friends and family think I had a secret life.

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This makes me cringe...


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Speaking of shitting your pants...


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Teaching my kids how to open a beer can just may have been my greatest parental accomplishment.

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PEOPLE BEING HUMAN




The luckiest person on the planet...








Kid's first brain freeze...





What it's like to talk to a very religious person who, when treed by the hound of logic, counters every argument with "Why do you hate god so much?"
Now go back and just watch the emcee.

We've all had days like this, haven't we...


I've seen this many times and even posted it a while back, but I never noticed the guy in the background using the force to help her recover.



I will have more on this lady in posts to come.


Yeah....yeah they do, in fact, do just that. You need to invent a new word.

Men do shit like this at every opportunity...


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When buying snacks for a road trip my wife acts like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

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Then there's this asshole...

If you were on a jury to decide if he needed to be committed, how would you vote. Remember, he heard a voice tell him to kill his son and only stopped when the voice told him not to. That is textbook batshit crazy and you know it.

And lastly...

I wonder what his last thoughts were.

1 comment:

n2prenr said...

RE: "This makes me cringe..." It makes me cringe, also. That toilet paper should ALWAYS unroll counter clockwise. Totally senseless!

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