About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

TUESDAY #2759*

One Of My Very Own…


You can't always get what you want. Rolling Stones

The Summer Of 2016, Summed Up In One Photo

I made some snide remarks about Pokemon the other day. But now that I understand it (or not) I think it sounds like a whole lot of fun.
Basically, you use your phone map to locate little characters scattered in your town. After finding said character, you "throw" your little thing on it to capture it. But if someone else coming along with a stronger "thing" then they get both "things."
I am going to present some internet finds in no particular order, because I find it thrilling.

It brings diverse people together, which is nice.

Other headlines...

This written after this blog was posted:

At my bar this afternoon, the waitstaff was agog with excitement over Pokemon Go. As soon as they got off work they would, in groups, scurry away to seek their prizes. They, to a man, asked if I played, since I had voiced my opinion that it sounded very exciting. I told them I had created "Pokemon Stay" where you sit in a bar drinking beer and wait on the prizes to come to you. 
They said that playing Pokemon Go gives people real exercise and I said the most exercise I had had in six months was walking real fast across the Krispy Kreme donut parking lot when they were ready to close.
One of the waitresses told me I need to "seize the day" at which I replied, "I don't seize the day, but I will sit and poke it with a stick."
A good time was had by all.

A little boy supporting Portugal consoles a French fan after the Euro 2016 final...

My nephew has officially requested that the ban on Folio Olio be lifted in Saudi Arabia.

I've asked him to do the same with Russia.

My dear city has just set a record for most days in a row with triple digit high temperatures. As we suffer we tell ourselves tis a small price to pay to keep from owning a snow shovel.

J.K. Rowling revealed more info about the American Hogwarts. Unlike the European version, it has metal detectors and more than one fat kid.


Thanks stratosphere.

Our perception is so very limited. We can't see things moving slowly, we can't see things moving quickly.

The above was the speed of light - one trillion frames per second.
Our whole awareness is based on the speed, color, sound etc that will best keep us alive and nothing more. You just have to ask yourself, what wonders are we missing.

The chemical composition of a Latina orgasm.

That one took me a minute.

Just a reminder that this is a thing you can do...

You can have chocolate molded in the form of your asshole.

Here's one I had done of my wife's...

I pick on that dear woman mercilessly and she just laughs along with the rest of us. What a woman.

So, you come upon an old WWII bunker with all the history...the fear of the inhabitants looming death, the sadness of loved ones left behind. Quick what do you do? Paint fat letters on it of course...the same fat letter you've painted a thousand time. Why? Because you are an artist and feel you can do any fucking thing you want.

The internet is amazing in its ability to speed up communication, for instance it used to take years to realize you hated your friends.


But that's not the point. America is not Saudi Arabia. We are better than Saudi Arabia. We don't use others as our example...they use the US as an example. Hopefully our good parts.

Countries arranged by geographical location.

The captions read:
Dad before surgery.

Then, Dad after surgery.

If anyone posts an image of me looking like that I will avenge it. I will disown you. I will find out where you sleep and shit on your doorstep.


Game Time: What is about to happen? You might want to take this to the next level...

I'm never marrying anyone else that I find on craigslist.


Headline: World helium shortage over, due to discovery of helium field.
Scientist: (high voice) This new supply of helium is a game-change.


I told you.

This reminds me of the cops assigned to each barricaded section in Times Square during New Years.

I think there are 40 or so people assigned to each "pin" and once they get there on a first come first served basis, they can not leave or have to go to the back of the line. This would result in a position far away from the action.
The question should pop into your head over the bathroom rules. Well, Americans are pretty good at solving problems. The women form a circle around a woman as she squats and pees, and the men do it for the men. The cops allow it.
The person who told me about this said the cop assigned to her unit spent most of his time getting to know the people under his supervision. They, in fact, became friends, which is the way it is suppose to work.

Blowing shit up...

I think that is that "rope" that they shoot out then detonate to eliminate mines. Seems like a good way to get rid of combatants hidden in the trees also.

Here two of those guns I've posted before shooting in tandem, paths crossing at exactly where the target will be shortly.

Before you take advice from my wife... you should know she walks around the house in her underwear while complaining about being cold.

Is this a boon or a bust?

It's a little travel roll! How thoughtful.

People have been doing this since the dawn of time...

I bet when we lived in caves somebody would throw a dead snake in amongst the gathered clan. Humans are like that.


Before you continue scrolling, the horse is wearing glasses.



Antitank Missilemen, for example, will now be Antitank Gunners instead. Operations Men will henceforth be Operations Chiefs. Most of the changes just replace the word "man" with the world "marine." Where a literary barbarism is unavoidable, gendered titles will be kept. For example, it's still going to be Riflemen, not Rifleperson/Riflemarine.
Seems fair to me.


I know you've all seen this by now...

But the mere cleverness is not why I posted it. I was amazed how many relatively poor students own one of those. I think they are like several hundred dollars. Poor, yet they can afford a robot to sweep their homes. Baffles me, but remember I've stated many times that poor people today don't act like they are poor.

A car with omnidirectional wheels

Do other animals have signature tranquilizers, or are horses just especially stressed out?



Vincent Van Gogh’s Art as Seen Through a Tilt-Shift Lens

I love stuff like that.

Guy's got a steady hand...

That's just another example of when you never want to hear the man say, "Oh shit," under his breath.

This is a concept piece...

How to make pasta:
-Boil water.
-Put what you think couldn't possibly be too much pasta in the pot.
-Start an Italian restaurant.



I post things like this not to laugh at these people, but as a warning to you. Be careful out there, my friends.

Great bodily harm is just so very easy...

Please teach your children to play like the women and not the men.

A new ATM skimmer

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
~What is your sin, child?
My husband and I are arguing
~That's very common.
...about my boyfriend.


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