About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

SUNDAY #2792

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

KEY PACKET TUTORIAL
http://folioolio.blogspot.com/2015/07/key-packet-tutorial.html



Server at my bar was beaming so I told her she looked like a person whose plans are going as planned. She said that her student aid was upped so she wouldn't have to borrow money her senior year. She knows exactly what she wants to do when she graduates and I just know she will. That made me happy.

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I've had a complaint that sometimes my gifs have to be refreshed over and over if they are grouped together. I have tried to spread them out, but not always possible - like gardening clips below.
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POLITICS

What the whole world is asking right now...


My wife asked me which I would want as president: Trump or Clinton. I said I would prefer corrupt over crazy.

There has been too many cases like this to list. I find it alarming.

And she thought this was necessary.


And...

Of course, I'm the guy that does not believe that power corrupts; I believe it takes corruption to gain power.
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THE GOOD PART OF THE OLYMPICS



Here's what that looked like...


Aly Raisman is a total badass.


THE UGLY PART OF THE OLYMPICS



Fuck bad losers...oh, wait there's more...


Am I allowed to call an American hero a cunt?

This is from a North Korean broadcast for their three or four people with TVs...

North Korea has won medals at the games. My question is, when they get back home, do all the North Korean competitors just keep there mouths shut about what they have witnessed? ALL OF THEM?

Wardrobe malfunction at the Olympic Games in Rio...

That was the perfect segue to this...

Woman enjoying a cigarette after ISIS is kicked out of her town.


Woman hugs Kurdish fighter after liberation of Manbij from ISIS...

As you probably know by now, those seriously badass Kurdish women are my heroes.



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My wife's goal weight is three Olympic gymnasts.
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This bright purple orb was found on the deep ocean floor and nobody knows what it is.

In the video it seemed to be attached to that gray pod thing and looked about the size of a tennis ball.

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First Images from Matt Damon's Monster Movie "The Great Wall"; the most expensive Chinese movie of all time.


That looks impressive.

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Let's play a game of What Next...

A. His fake eyebrows fall off.
B. A camel eats his phone.
C. He gets bitchslapped by a camel.
D. He falls in a well or some such shit.

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I haven't a clue as to why this would be useful.

But it's still kind of neat.

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If you can remember this you had an awesome childhood...

...and probably died in WWII.

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Just another reason I will never do such insanity...


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I just want to be fit enough to reach into my glove compartment, without panting.

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ARTY THINGS



LINOLEUM CUTS

You gouge out cuts where the ink can't get to, thus are rendered white.

And this happens...


I still have large pieces of that in my studio, but my printing technique of choice is etching.


I, being the stamp guy, should have thought of that.


I did something like that on my daughters' ceiling, only mine was more cartoonish.

What kind of mind thought this up?


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I totally get your eyebrows.
My bank account is overdrawn, too.

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SHIT YOU DON'T SEE EVRY DAMN DAY




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C. He gets bitchslapped by a camel.

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SPEAKING OF ANIMALS



Mom taking up for his bullied son...


This is my wife and her sister at the drive-thru window at Krispy Kreme.


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Finally found a way to use egregious in a sentence that has nothing to do with it's meaning.

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GARDENING MADE EASY




I feel the need to remind you of the "Victory Garden" designed by the government during WWII. You plant corn, pole beans and squash in each hole in your garden. The corn sprouts first and the pole beans uses its stalk to climb up, with no harmful effect to the corn. The last to emerge is squash, a broadleaf ground hugger that holds in the soil moisture.

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GREAT TALKING POINTS




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This was a line in a movie I watched...

(free alcohol)

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What's Happens Next?

A. There's a small explosion.
B. The unmanned vehicle drives away.
C. A man on fire gets out.
D. There is a humongous explosion.

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Waiting for the bartender to notice you.

Very early in my bartending career I was taught that your job is not to serve drinks, but to sell drinks. You do that by paying attention and when a customer's drink gets down to a swallow or two, you ask if he would like another. Research shows that people hate to tell anyone (especially a nice person) no. It is surprising how many more drinks you sell with that one trick.

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PEOPLE NOT LIKE YOU AND ME


Just a botanist, manually pollinating a Philodendron plant.
I get the exact same thoughts watching that as when the bartender washes down the beer taps with a wet soapy rag.



This must be a world's record...


Oh, shit!


My hero.

Men.


Rest In Peace, Grandma.


And that alone could keep me out of heaven.

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TOMBSTONES





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I have been introduced to this miracle of science.

I have one of each size; one for morning coffee and one for ice water. Believe it or not, when filled, the outside of each is the exact same temperature. The ice is still unmelted when I rinse it out the next morning. Amazing.
Now I've found out they make beer coozies out of that same insulation.

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D. There is a humongous explosion.

Holy Schitsnacks! Anybody got an explanation for that shit?
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Just found this new app that tells you which of your family members are racist. It's called Facebook.

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