About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

SUNDAY #2799

One Of My Very Own…



Lost big on that one penalty kick miss from Germany. But I don't feel bad. It was a great game. That one goal by Neymar was worth the watch.

She was asked if she respects religion...

Olympic News

My hero...

Usain Bolt has won one medal for every 36 seconds he's competed in the Olympics.

Waiter: Would you like soup or salad?
Me: Yeah, the super salad would be great.



104 years of athletic progression.

Ever wonder what happened to this spunky little guy?

He grew up to do this...

Who the hell called it "the equals sign" and not "the aftermath"?



Just another thing to worry about every second I'm on the water.

He bounced.
He actually bounced.

You know how I love charts...


Holy fucking shit, y'all!

And the host on the right smiles through the whole thing. I'm also thinking that is not the child's mother. I know the mother of my children would have been gnawing that fucker's face off in a millisecond.
That is so very wrong on so many levels!

Joke time:

On the first day as new commander of a French Foreign Legion post far out in the desert, the Colonel was given a tour. They came upon a camel and the Colonel asked why they had it. The Captain said, "Well, it gets pretty lonesome out here and the men use the camel for sex." So, as a gesture to show he was no better than his troops, the Colonel took the camel out to the middle of the fort, stood on a chair and had vigorous sex with the beast. When he got down he zipped his pants and said, "So is that about how you guys do it?" To which the Captain said, "Well, actually, sir, we just ride it over to the oases where the women are."



That's because he already had brain damage.

Five young Lebanese people ride in a convertible through the rubble of a bombed South Beirut.

When a raccoon stands up and cracks his knuckles, stop shaving him immediately.

Looks like a Rembrandt.

My caption would be: We are gathered here today because somebody couldn’t stay alive.



I heard an interview with this guy and he said the target was so big there was no way he would miss it.

Note whites doves of peace released moments before.

Did you notice the ones on the left whose heads start smoking? And that, boys and girls, is why they don't release doves on the same day as the light anymore.

To repeat, everybody in the country will one day need intensive therapy.


My 9 Year Old: Where do babies come from?
Me: Europe.



The evolution of the moon in 30 seconds.

Releasing free neutrons


It is over a bar.

And that is where we got the design for rose windows in cathedrals.
I told my wife to dim the lights and called it a beauty tip.



[god creating dogs]

Captions are fun...

I would have done precisely the same thing.

Bravo, Australians!
"Apology not accepted" - what to say if you want to fight in Canada.

The games people play...

What cities around the world would like like if they were "Tokyo-ized."

I had never heard that term before.


Brings new meaning to guerilla warfare.

I better clip of this guy at work...

*Passing the same coworker in the hallway more than once: Don't look at me, I already said "Hi" to you.
They actually did a study about that very thing. Among other things they found that people you come into contact with every day are given time according to a subtle ranking. For instance, the elevator guy may only rank a "Hi, Walter," every day. But if, say, you were on vacation for a week, then you "owe" that guy seven times more time on their next meeting...to make up for the lost days. I have actually found myself doing exactly that, and I bet if you keep track, you will also.


18 September 1982, Palestinian corpses lie in the street in the aftermath of the Sabra and Shatila massacre, when Phalangist Maronite Christian militias killed (murdered) Palestinian refugees.
Religion of peace my ass.

1 comment:

Robin said...

Here is another take on the camel joke:
A new lieutenant in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?" The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels."The lieutenant can't believe it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn. The ensuing chaos was amazing... men from all over the camp descended on the camel pens like Huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenant sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, "Let me go! Let me go!""Good God man," said the lieutenant. "There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What's your hurry?"The corporal replied, "I don't want to get stuck with an ugly one!"

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